Review #37: Halloween H2O: Twenty Yrs Later (1998)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Steve Miner (Director): Friday the 13th Pt. 2, Friday the 13th Pt. 3, Day of the Dead

Jamie Lee Curtis (Laurie Strode/Keri Tate): Pictured right

Josh Harnett (John Tate): The Faculty, Pearl Harbor (2001), Black Hawk Down (2001), 40 Days, 40 Nights (2002), Hollywood Homicide (2003), Sin City (2005), The Black Dahlia (2006), 30 Days of Night

Adam Arkin (Will): Hitch (2005), 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, Life and Chicago Hope T.V. series

Michelle Williams (Molly): Species, Dick (1999), Broke Back Mountain (2005), Dawson’s Creek T.V. Series

LL Cool J (Ronny): Wildcats (1986), Toys (1992), Deep Blue Sea, Any Given Sunday (1999), Charlie’s Angels (2000), Rollerball (2002), S.W.A.T. (2003), Mindhunters (2004)

Jodi Lynn O’Keefe (Samantha): She’s All That (1999), The Crow 3 (2000), Devil in the Flesh 2 (2000), Nash Bridges & Prison Break T.V. series

Janet Leigh (Norma): Psycho (1960), The Fog (1980)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Jimmy): Angels in the Outfield (1994), 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), 3rd Rock from the Sun T.V. series

Nancy Stephens (Marion): Halloween, Halloween 2

Chris Durand (Michael Myers)

Trailer:


Plot:

It has been twenty years since the night Michael escaped and went after Laurie; hence...Halloween H20. Michael has tracked down nurse Marion (nurse at Smith’s Groove in first two Halloween movies) to discover the whereabouts of his sister, Laurie. Michael learns that Laurie has gone into hiding and teaches at a small private academy in Summer Glen, California. She has also changed her name to Keri Tate.

Road trip! Mikey goes on a cross-country road trip to California to find her. The majority of the school takes off on a weekend field trip leaving a handful of people behind, one of them being Laurie and her seventeen-year old son (Josh Harnett). On a side note, nothing is mentioned or hinted about Laurie's daughter, Jamie (Halloween 4-6). I guess those movies don't exists in this time line, or are just forgotten...as

Well Mikey arrives for the weekend and breaks into the guarded academy compound. LL Cool J plays the campus security guard in charge of the only entrance into the place. LL drops the ball and unknowingly accidentally lets Mikey in the place. Mikey kills remaining handful of people and ends up in a confrontation with Laurie and her son. Laurie fights back!

Villain:

Michael returns! Even better, he's not as built or indestructible looking as some icons tend to do as sequels pile up. Nope. Just a regular ole' Mikey. He still wields the knife around slicin' and dicin' people like a bad-ass.

Cast:

H20 featured a pretty good cast considering it was a horror movie. Jamie Lee returns in the role of Laurie and does a good job. Josh Harnett makes his movie debut and supplies eye candy for the women. As for the men...we get Michelle Williams (Pictured right) and Jodi Lynn O’Keefe hang around and screaming for our eye candy enjoyment.

SFX/Gore:

Well for the seven installment of the Halloween series, you would expect some odd Godly number of deaths hovering around the twenties. But not in this case. The film makers went back to old school and tried to make this flick scary rather than bloody. There were a total of seven deaths in the film. There were no over-the-top use of gore or anything hokey like unbelievable deaths or fountains of blood.

TNA:

Heartthrob Harnett and studly LL Cool J supply eye candy for the women, but I don't care about that. The real TNA comes from the two hot chicks (Williams and O'Keefe), and a M.I.L.F. (Curtis). Unfortunately there aren't any boobies. BOO! Michelle Williams pictured below.


T.Gun's Take:

The movie takes a step back from piles and piles of bloody bodies. Instead, the movie tries to accomplish a more of a suspense atmosphere feeling to it. I believe it worked. It was also a breath of fresh air after the previous installments of crap the franchise had put up.

I was glad to see the return of Laurie to the franchise. It's good to see an accomplished actor or actress come back to their roots in the horror genre. On the other hand, I was disappointed that previous four movies, characters and story lines were just written off as if they were never there. Completely ignored. After all, Jamie was Laurie’s “other” child. I thought it might have deserved some type of explanation of why she didn’t pursue her out in the past.

The past two Halloween movies (5 & 6) took a lot out of me to watch. They really did. It was a level of unbearable. Part 5 can be tolerated in small doses, but Part 6 just sucked. H20 revitalized my interest into Halloween.

You can tell that the movie was made during the mid to late 90’s. It just had that feel to it. What I mean is that all the hot chicks were from popular T.V. sitcoms and they were afraid to show a little TNA in the film which might have ruined their careers. Can't we even get a peek like this at least! (Jodi Lynn pictured left)

One of my favorite directors, Steve Miner (Friday 2 & 3) directs this one and does a pretty good job at using more suspense and tension rather than blood and guts. He seems to have nailed the horror genre!

Misc. Movie Trivia:
- H20 opened on August 9, 1998 and made $55 million at the box office ($16.1 million opening weekend)
- The car Janet Leigh (Norma) drives off in is the original car from Psycho
- A clip from Scream 2 plays on a background T.V. plays tribute to Scream. Scream showed the original Halloween on T.V. The clip was originally So I Married An Axe Murderer (Mike Myers) but changed later on.
- Movie storyline went on as if Halloween 3-6 never took place. A scene was made explaining the murders Michael Myers did, but was cut from film.
- Josh Harnett and Jodi Lynn O’Keefe’s first featured film
- H2O is the molecular compound of water

Review #38: Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Rick Rosenthal (Director): Halloween 2, Witches of Eastwick (1992)

Jamie Lee Curtis (Laurie):

Brad Loree (Michael Myers): X2 (2003), White Chicks (2004), Dead Calling (2006)

Busta Rhymes (Freddie): Who’s the Man? (1993), Shaft (2000)

Bianca Kajlich (Sara): Boston Public, Dawson’s Creek, Rock Me Baby, Rules of Engagement T.V. series (Pictured right)

Sean Patrick Thomas (Rudy): Cruel Intentions 1 (1999) & 2 (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Save the Last Dance (2001), Not Another Teen Movie (2001), Barbershop 1 (2002) & 2 (2004), The District T.V. series

Katie Sackhoff (Jen): White Noise 2 (2007), Battlestar Galactica and Bionic Woman T.V. series (Pictured right)

Thomas Ian Nichols (Bill): Rookie of the Year (1993), American Pie 1-3 (1999,2001,2003)

Ryan Merriman (Deckard): Ring 2 (2005), Rings (2005), Final Destination 3 (2006), Pretender T.V. series

Tyra Banks (Nora)

Lorena Gale (Nurse Wells): Fly 2 (1989), Butterfly Effect (2004), Perfect Score (2004), Chronicles of Riddick (2004) Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005), Slither, Battlestar Galactica T.V. series

Brent Chapman (Franklin): Freddy vs. Jason

Haig Sutherland (Aron): Valentine, Slither

Natassia Malthe (French Maid): Disturbing Behavior (1998), Lake Placid (1999), Elecktra (2005), Skinwalkers, D.O.A. (2006), Blood Rayne 2 (2007) (Pictured right)

Kyle Labine (Teen Party Guy): Freddy vs. Jason

Trailer:



Michael Myers, thought to be dead…yeah right…returns yet again to wreck havoc on T.V. reality show contestants who are spending Halloween night in the famous Myers house. The show is called "DangerTainment" and is produced by Freddie and Nora (Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks). I call this film, "Resurrection-H". Unlike Preparation-H, Resurrection-H tends to discomfort the bottom.

They plant hidden cameras all over the house and each contestant has their own mini camera they wear like a head set. The show is broad casted live over the internet while the contestants are locked in the Myers house. The contestants “search” for clues on why Michael turned out the way he did.

Unfortunately for the contestants, Mikey ain’t too happy about them being there. For a house planted with hidden cameras all over the place, you would figure that someone would see Michael lurking around the house. It’s just an educated guess on my part. But apparently no one does. And you would think that someone would notice Michael there when he kills someone, but oh well…what do I know?

One by one, the contestants get picked off by Mikey. Busta does a little Kung-Fu action and kicks Mikey’s ass…WTF?…as he saves the hot chick in the end. I think Busta had his hand in writing part of the script.

Villain:

Michael Myers = Legendary Horror Bad Ass. With the exception of Busta going all Kung Fu on his ass...Mikey continues to deliver.

Cast:

I gotta say...Resurrection-H has a high number of hot chicks in the film (7). The film starts off with Jamie Lee Curtis doing her part on negotiating her way out of the series by taking a plunge off the roof of a mental crib. Poof! There goes the talent.

At least the legendary talent.

To make up for Jamie Lee's permanent exit off stage, Resurrection-H employs a whole bunch of hot chicks to go pouncing around the Myers house. Bianca Kajlich plays the lead female Sara in the film. Sara is somewhat of a depressing character as she falls for a high school student...psst...she's a college chick and she falls for a dorky high school dude. How depressing is that?

All the other characters are the same typical bunch that horror movies love to cast, but Starbuck (Katie S.)from BSG shows up in the film. Yeah! She plays a minor role as one of Mikey's victims.

SFX/Gore:

Resurrection-H features eleven deaths, and an explosion! Michael Bay would be proud. Most of the deaths were pretty...blah, but there was one cool death involving a girl and a metal gate.

TNA:

Seven hot chicks, a set of boobies and a sex act. See the reasons below: Pictured left to right... Charisse Baker, Daisy McCrakin, Marisa Rudiak



T.Gun's Take:

Resurrection-H could have been an awesome idea with the camera-contestant point of view storyline but ended up...just okay. The concept is awesome, but the execution just plain sucks. I think if they had done away with the hidden cameras around the house and just stuck with the contestant’s camera, then the film would have been more believable. Come on’, no one sees Mikey go room to room killing people until the film “wants” people to see it. The website even brags about choosing who's view you want. AND no one sees what's going on?

And another thing…I’m getting sick of these movies where everyone in the house dies one by one without anyone knowing as the killer sneaks around. I’ve been in many houses and it’s not that difficult to know where every one is. The only reasons I would believe that a killer could sneak around picking people off one by one without anyone noticing is:

1. Everyone is in a different room f*cking like rabbits when the killer strikes. That’s believable. No one cares what’s going on when they’re having the time of their life.

2. Everyone’s asleep.

3. There are like…two or three people in the house and aren't enough cameras to cover everything.

A great idea that was wasted. I’m still looking forward to the Special Edition of the film that was going to show everyone’s camera footage that the producer promised. It’s five years gone by now, and I don’t think it’s going to happen. Resurrection-H should have put the deleted scene of the car alarm in the film! That was awesome! And so is the girl to the right. (Tyra Banks...if you don't know)

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on July 14, 2002 and made $30.3 million at the box office ($12.3 opening weekend)
-Film's original title: Halloween: Homecoming
-Bianca Kajlich's screams were dubbed

Review #39: Halloween (2007)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Rob Zombie (Director): House of a 1000 Corpses (2003), The Devil’s Rejects (2005)

Malcom McDowell (Dr. Loomis): A Clockwork Orange (1971), Star Trek: Generations (1994), Tank Girl (1995), Firestarter 2 (2002), I Spy (2002)

Brad Dourif (Sheriff Brackett): Child’s Play Series

Tyler Mane (Michael Myers): ECW wrestler (Big Sky), Troy (2004), X-men (2000), The Devil’s Rejects

Daeg Faerch (Young Mike)

Scout Taylor-Compton (Laurie): 13 Going on 30 (2004), Wicked Little Things (2006), April Fool’s Day

Danielle Harris (Annie): Halloween 4, Halloween 5, Urban Legend

Skyler Gisondo (Tommy): Walk Hard (2007)

Jenny Gregg Stewart (Lindsey)

Hanna Hall (Judith Myers): Forrest Gump (1994), The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Clint Howard (Dr. Koplensen): House of the Dead (2003), How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), Little Nicky (2000)…and many more

Udo Kier (Morgan Walker): Suspiria (1977), Barb Wire (1996), Blade (1998), Shadow of the Vampire (2000), Feardot Com (2002), Evil Eyes (2004), Blood Rayne (2005)

Kristina Klebe (Lynda): Delirious (2006)(Pictured right)

Adam Weisman (Steve): Hatchet, The Toolbox Murders (2004)

Dee Wallace (Cynthia Strode): The Howling

Nick Mennell (Bob): Friday the 13th

Sybil Danning (Nurse Wynn): Amazon Women on the Moon (1987), The Howling 2, Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)

Max Van Ville (Paul): Bad Santa (2003) ~ Skate board Bully

Cast from the House of a 1000 Corpses/The Devil’s Rejects (DR):
Sheri Moon Zombie (Deborah Myers): Both Films

William Forsythe (Ronnie): DR

Danny Trejo (Ismael): DR

Lew Temple (Noel): DR

Tom Towles (Larry): Both

Bill Moseley (Zach): Both

Leslie Easterbrook (Patty Frost): DR & Police Academy 1, & 3-7

Daniel Roebuck (Lou): DR, Final Destination

Ken Foree (Big Joe Grizzley): DR & Dawn of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead

Sid Haig (Chester): Both

Trailer:


Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween starts off with a peak into the childhood of Michael Myers. Zombie portrays his early childhood as problematic as he grows up in a hostile environment. His mother (Sheri Moon) works as a stripper while her dead beat boyfriend, Ronnie, sits at home doing nothing but verbally abusing Mikey and hitting on his older, hot sister, Judith.

Mikey is already a troubled young child at the tender age of nine. He tortures and kills animals (a typical sign for a psycho) and walks around wearing masks and wearing a K.I.S.S. t-shirt. I knew it! K.I.S.S. is the reason why Mikey goes on to kill. Remember: K.I.S.S. = (Knights In the Service of Satan). This explains everything. I wonder if young Jason or Freddy had their K.I.S.S. t-shirts? Rock n' Roll is the devil's music!

At school he is picked on and has a short temper starting fights. It seems he has frequent visits to the Principal's office because of all the trouble he's in or causes. Enter Dr. Loomis. In the aftermath of one of his fights, the principal calls in his mother and also introduces her to a child psychiatrist (Dr. Loomis). The only two people in his life that he seems to care about and love is his mom, and his baby sister (Laurie).

On Halloween night, Mikey's mom takes off to go to work at the strip club while Ronnie sits back drinking beer and watching T.V. His sister promises to take him trick or treating, but breaks the promise when her boyfriend comes over to "get some".

Mikey is left pondering what to do with his life in the kitchen while Judith is up stairs in her room doing the dirty deed with her boyfriend. Hanna Hall (Pictured right) is the actress playing Judith, and she is from Denver, Colorado. Way to represent my home state! During this time in the film, Zombie gives us our first taste of nudity...Booby Count: 1. Also her boyfriend is "doing" her while wearing the famous Michael Myers mask.

Anyway...Mikey's down stairs at the kitchen table thinking about the meaning of life and other sh*t like that when he decides to go homicidal. Hmm…I know that's what I typically do when I ponder stuff like that. I usually come to the conclusion, "Hey, let’s go on a killing spree!" Apparently Mikey and I share the same brainwaves because he does the same.

Mikey goes Ape sh*t on everyone in the house, killing all but his baby sister. Mom comes home and finds the carnage, police arrive, blah, blah, blah and then Mikey's off to the mental hospital! Damn K.I.S.S.!

For the next eleven months, Mikey is under the care of Dr. Loomis and starts to go down the dark path as he separates himself from the world. Loomis attempts to work with him but finds no success as Mikey diminishes to a state of silence while wearing handmade masks to cover his face.

During a visit with his mom, Mikey ends up stabbing a nurse in the jugular with a fork. The nurse dies. On a side note, the nurse was played by Sybill Danning. She was the big, busty blonde chick from the movie, Battle Beyond the Stars. The main ship in the movie looks like a scrotum ship (as my friends refer to it). So any time I can bust out the "It's the Testicle Ship!" reference, I can and will. Hey, it's a Roger Corman movie. What do you expect? She's also the blonde that rips off her top repeatedly in the Howling 2 movie. Check it out. But in this one, she dies. Damn K.I.S.S.!

Over the next 15 years, Mikey grows up into a huge silent monster that makes masks in his cell room. Dr. Loomis departs as his doctor, only to go on promoting the book he wrote about Mikey. Money hungry bastard!

One night, Mikey escapes the hospital. There are two versions of this escape, the theatre and the director's cut. One involves breaking out of leg irons, and the other involves two staff members raping a patient in front of Mikey. You choose which one you like. Bottom line, Mikey slaughters the staff, escapes and heads back to Haddonfield, Il.

It's now Halloween night in Haddonfield and Mikey returns to his former house. Coincidentally, his now adopted baby sister, Laurie drops off paperwork through the mail chute to the Myer's house. Her foster father is the realtor trying to sell the run down Myer's house.

Somehow, Mikey knows that Laurie is his baby sister and then "stalks" her while hiding in the distance and shadows. Why not? Have you've seen Laurie? (Pictured right...played by the lovely Scout Taylor-Compton) She's definitely one to be stalked.

Mikey spends the day stalking her and her friends as Dr. Loomis gets word of Mikey's escape and heads to Haddonfield to stop the monster.

Later on that night, one of Laurie's friends, Lynda, decides to have sex with her boyfriend at the deserted Myer's house. Guess what? It's not entirely deserted. Zombie gives us Booby Count: 2 courtesy of Lynda, and then shortly afterwards, Mikey dispatches the two. Damn K.I.S.S.!

Meanwhile, Laurie gets stuck babysitting a neighborhood child, Tommy Doyle. She also inherits another, Lindsey, from her best friend Annie. Annie is played by the lovely Danielle Harris who played the little girl, Jamie from Halloween 4 & 5. Annie's supposed to be babysitting Lindsey, but cons Laurie into watching her while she has her own little Halloween party with her boyfriend across the street. A little late night lovin'!

Mikey enter's the house across the street while Annie answer's her boyfriend's booty call on the couch. Mikey likes what he sees as he watches the two do the nasty. Here we get...Booby Count: 3! Unfortunately Mikey breaks up the good times and kills her boyfriend. BOO! Damn K.I.S.S.! Annie tries to escape...running around the house topless...thank you Danielle Harris...thank you...but is caught by Mikey and injured.

Eventually Laurie decides to return Lindsey back to Annie and comes across the path of destruction and Mikey himself. Mikey chases Laurie around and eventually Dr. Loomis catches up to them.

And then Rob Zombie realizes that he has just made a carbon copy of the original Halloween film. So to fix the problem, he milks the film for another twenty some odd minutes by adding random chase sequences and confrontations.

Eventually Laurie transforms into a strong female, and fights back and kills Mikey. Or does she? And we all learn that...it's all K.I.S.S.'s fault!


Villain:

Young Michael (Daeg) did an awesome job in this film. You gotta admit, even if you hated the "young, troubled story line" of Mikey, Daeg did an excellent job here. I though it was great to see Michael “age” through the years and deteriorate to his present state.

On the other hand, older Mikey was just okay. But effective. I wasn’t such a big fan of making him a freak of nature (7’ 300lb +), but I guess if you want something terrifying visually then that’s what you get. Wasn't really my cup of tea, but I guess I can deal with it.

Cast:

Outside of bringing in every one and their mother from the House/Devil franchise, I liked the cast of the new film. In the battle of the trio of hot young women: Scout, Danielle, and Kristina vs. the original 1978’s Jamie Lee Curtis, Nancy Keyes, and P.J. Soles...I take the new group hands down. Look at them, they're hotter!

People complain that the new group are too annoying and naive. But have you been around teenage girls lately? They also worked well together on screen and gave the girls more of a lively feelt to their characters than the original cast. I know Jamie Lee Curtis is a great actress, but her character felt a little too…for lack of a better term…goodie two shoes. And the other two of the older group were just annoying as hell and insignificant.

Sheri Moon had her best acting performance to date…considering the previous movies she has been in…as Michael’s mom. I could actually see some emotion in that character. Fellow Devil's Rejects alum, Danny Trejo was another great character. But I'm a big fan of him. He didn't do anything special but be a cool old Spanish guy. Oh well, I'm cool with that.

So let's move on to Dr. Loomis. Yep. The man who knows Mikey the best. The original doc, Donald Pleasence did a great job in the first two Halloween films. And then as the series grew more comical, he should have stop accepting the role for Dr. Loomis. Toward the end it was almost injustice to the character.

Malcom McDowell steps into the role for this remake. We first see him as he appears in the principal’s office at Michael’s school in the beginning. At that point, I couldn't buy Malcom as Loomis. He looked like a hippy. It's like, "Dude…I wanna be your friend. Wait a second while I light up." That portrayal just didn’t do it for me. It was more of a Zombie fault than Malcom. But, as his character grew older with Mikey, Loomis turned out not to be such a bad character after all.

The original Loomis was like, "He’s the devil. He can’t be killed. But I don’t know what to do about it." While the new Loomis is like "He’s a bad man, but if I given him a hug he can change."

SFX/Gore:

Three words: BRUTAL AS HELL. But I like it. Why hold back? From the early years to the late years, Mikey was brutal and heartless...consistent. The body count in the film was high at around twenty (at least that's what I counted in Director’s cut). Once again, Damn K.I.S.S.!

***SPOILER*** (Highlight to read): In director’s cut, Dr. Loomis does not die and his character is left in question as the movie ends. Also, Danielle Harris character “officially” lives as Rob Zombie comments in the film’s commentary. ** End **

The special effects were state of the art and good. There was nothing really done to piss me off there. No cheesy deaths or awkward looking effects.

TNA:

Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…Sex and Boobies…and hot chicks. Hallelujah! Amen Brother! Three racks of breast, three scenes of doing-the-dirty-deed, one dual rape scene and six hot chicks. And one of the most important factors: NO SHARK FACTOR! Well done! And for your viewing pleasure...the lovely Danielle Harris (pictured right)...all grown up now.

T.Gun's Take:

Okay it was a remake. Not really too original, but like I said, it's a remake. I did like the first segment of the movie with the telling of Mikey’s childhood story and then moving into his killing state of mind. Most people hated the whole “broken family-I torture little pets-mom and sister is a whore-step dad is abusive-now I must turnout bad and kill everyone” storyline but I bought I actually enjoyed it.

I'm going against the grain, and admit that I liked this version of Halloween. I think it stands close to the original and some times I rather watch it over the original. I could be a little biased with the upgrade in hotness and booty. For more info...see Remake rant.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
- Halloween opened September 2, 2007 and made $58.2 million at the box office ($30.6 opening weekend)
- Production was delayed due to the death of Moustapha Akkad (Halloween movies 1-8 producer). He died due to injuries from terrorist attacks in Jordan.

Review #28 & 29: The Ring (2002) & Ringu (1998)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Gore Verbinski (Director): Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy

Hideo Nakata (Japanese Director): Ringu 2 (1999), The Ring 2 (2005)

Naomi Watts (Rachel): The Ring 2 (2005), Children of the Corn 4 (1996), King Kong (2005)

Brian Cox (Richard Morgan): X2 (2003), Zodiac (2007), Red Eye, Bourne Identity (2002), Super Troopers (2001), Kiss the Girls (1997)

Amber Tamblyn (Katie): The Grudge 2

Rachel Bella (Becca): Drive Thru

Trailer:

Dueling reviews:
American Version vs. Japanese Version (BHA!)

A teenager dies seven days after watching a mysterious video at a cabin retreat. Her aunt Rachel/Reiko (Naomi Watts in American Version) is a reporter who investigates her death and learns that other teenagers who watched the video also died...seven days later.

Rachel/Reiko tracks down the video and mistakenly watches it herself. Shortly afterwards she receives an anonymous phone call and the seven day death clock has started. Now it is a race of time for Rachel/Reiko to discover the origin of the video and uncover its dark secrets before the seven days are up and she is laid to rest.

Villain:

A creepy, crawling dead chick that crawls out of the television set and kills video tape viewers stars as the villain in this movie. She's a slow moving, disfigured creepy crawler, adding a suspense and creepy level to the movie. A little different compared to a straight up “slasher-flick's" level of suspense.

Cast:

A good cast of characters, and eight hot chicks in the film…including Naomi Watts (Pictured right). One thing that annoyed me was the little boy always calling Naomi, “Rachel” instead of mom. I thought that was kind of uncalled for.

The Japanese (BHA!) version's cast was pretty good also. In this film I was able to keep track of all the characters as the movie went on, unlike the Grudge (see The Grudge post).

SFX/Gore:

As far as deaths in the film, there weren't too many. There was a total of three deaths in the film. But we did get a dead horse! PETA cries, "NO!"

The special effects were pretty good in the film. They did an excellent job of having the creepy crawler chick climb out of the T.V. Oddly there seemed to be a "bluish tint" to the American version of the film.

TNA:

Surprisingly this category kind of delivered despite the lack of nudity. There were eight hot chicks, but no boobies or sex acts. Considering the type of movie it was, it’s not all that disappointing. To make up for the lack of nudity, Naomi strips down to her panties and bra while changing.

The hot teenage girls at the beginning are wearing cute catholic schoolgirl outfits while in the Japanese version, the hot little Asian chicks wore them as the standard school outfit (BHA!). And there was even a shower scene…too bad the camera didn’t pan down a little…he he.

T.Gun's Take:

I dug the storyline of the film. The American version was pretty much cut and paste of the Japanese version for about three quarters of the movie. Both went separate ways…horse plague vs. stricken volcanic island.

Both films created a creepy feel to their respective films and the Japanese version had a more shocking ending. This film(s) is one of few films that proves blood and guts doesn’t always make horror movies scary. Both had very well put together story lines.

I dug both movies. I saw The Ring in theaters before I was able to rent Ringu. I was amazed how copy/paste The Ring was compared to the Japanese version. It kind of “brought down” my respect for the American version a little bit. I would still prefer watching the American version, but I give tremendous props to the Japanese version because it actually came up with the idea first.

The success of The Ring opened up the door for future Japanese horror flicks to be "Americanized". The original director of Ringu actually made it's sequel and then came over to America and did The Ring 2. I can’t really grade one of these films higher than the other, so I give them both the same grade.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-American film opened on October 18, 2002 and made $128.5 million at the Box Office ($15 million opening weekend)
-Japanese film opened on January 31, 1998 in Japan
-The role of Rachel was offered to Jennifer Connelly, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Beckinsale before finally settling with Naomi
-Ringu is the highest grossing horror film in Japanese history

Horror Icon #2

Jason Voorhees
Born: Friday the 13th
Son of Pamela & Elias Voorhees

Jason Actors:

Friday the 13th Part 1
Ari Lehman

Friday the 13th Part 2
Warrington Gillette
Steve Daskewisz - Stuntman

Friday the 13th Part 3
Richard Booker

Friday the 13th Pt. 4: The Final Chapter
Ted White

Friday the 13th Pt. 5: The New Beginning
Dick Wieand - Roy
Tom Morga - Stuntman

Friday the 13th Pt. 6: Jason Lives
C.J. Graham
Dan Bradley - left film

Friday the 13th Pt. 7: A New Blood
Kane Hodder

Friday the 13th Pt. 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
Kane Hodder
Timothy Burr Mirkovich - Boy Jason

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday
Kane Hodder

Jason X
Kane Hodder

Freddy Vs. Jason
Ken Kirzinger
Spencer Stump - Boy Jason

Friday the 13th (2009)
Derek Mears
Little boy - Young Jason

I really wanted to put Jason as my first ever Horror Icon of The Week, but I decided not to for two reasons:

1. I had already posted a bunch of Friday stuff on my blog, and I wanted to expand out into other things.

2. Sarah Michelle Gellar is hot!

In the end...I gave him the #2 spot. I've stated before that I'm a "Jason-Man" when it comes to horror films and killers/slashers/boogeymen. Here's the low down and movie recap on the masked man...

The first Friday movie is centered around his mother, Pamela. She is seeking revenge on careless camp counselors who occupy Camp Crystal Lake, because her son, Jason died because a group of counselors neglected to save him during his drowning. She holds all counselors accountable for his "death".

In her view, they were too busy making love and doing drugs while her boy drowned. At the end of the film Jason witnesses his mother's death and starts a revenge tour on any one who steps foot on his grounds.

The second and my favorite Friday movie takes place 5 years after the first and Jason is now a teenager. A camp across from Camp Crystal Lake...aka Camp Blood..is being opened by a new set of counselors. They are warned not to cross property lines and visit Camp Blood, but a few do and get caught by the police and by the way, piss Jason off.

Jason runs around their camp later on slaughtering counselors. Jason is stalking around the camp with a pillow case/potato sack on his head taking out unsuspecting counselors one by one. At the end, there is a mystery of whether or not Jason gets killed. Only to be solved when Part 3 comes out.

Well the mystery gets solved as Part 3 comes out and Jason is back...and seems to have grown a couple of years and goes bald in a day since Part 2. Jason moves down the road from the camp and comes across some twenty-somethings at a farm house up the road.

Jason kills them one by one and in the sea of blood he happens to pick up the "hockey mask" by killing one of them. Jason takes an axe to his noggin' from a pissed off survivor chick and lays dead in the barn as the audience ponders if he's finally dead.

In Part 4: The Final Chapter, the film events picks up right after Part 3 and Jason comes back to life in the hospital morgue only to return to his stalking groungds slaughter more victims. Jason meets his arch rival, Tommy Jarvis (the kid from the Goonies...Corey Feldman) and falls to the little boy wonder.

Part 5: The New Beginning continues to follow the storyline of Tommy Jarvis (Corey Felman's character) only to see Corey star in about ten minutes of the film before leaving to film The Goonies. Corey is replaced by some retard guy that says 24 words besides yelling and grunting.

Unfortunately Jason does not star in the film, but is replaced by Roy Burns. A guy who is impersonating Jason to seek revenge on his dead son. Bull shit, bull shit...

Part 6: Jason Lives yet again continues to follow the Tommy Jarvis vs. Jason storyline, and yet again a re-casted Tommy resurrects Jason from the grave with the help of some thunder and lightning. Kind of Frankensteinish.

Jason is now transformed from a pissed off dude in a hockey mask into a dead zombie creature. He returns to Forest Green (aka Camp Crystal Lake) to kill more people only to find his demise at the bottom of the lake again. Novelization of movie introduces his father, Elias.

In Part 7: A New Blood, Kane Hodder takes over the role of Jason and battles a chick with psychic powers who resurrects him from the bottom of the lake...only to be laid to rest at the bottom of the lake. Again.

Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan Jason gets a jolt of an underwater powerline that strikes him when a boat anchor drops on it...and...whoola! He's back to life! Jason then kills a few teens on the boat and "floats" out to another water channel which allows him to hop on a High School Senior Class Trip to New York. Jason slaughters more kids and reaches New York only to be victimized by NewYork's dreaded toxic waste that floods the sewers at midnight.

New Line studios takes over franchise afterwards and Friday the 13th name is no longer used. Cheesy titles are attached to the series starting with Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday...or in my book Friday the 13th Part 9. Jason mysteriously returns to Crystal Lake somehow after his New York City toxic sewer death, only to fall into the hands of a government trap. Jason gets blown up by the government. I guess he didn't pay his taxes.

Jason's body is shipped to some place in Ohio, but he still lives! Jason lives because some demon snake which took home in his heart pops out of his mouth and "jumps" from body to body possessing the host until the snake has found a descendant of the same blood...a.k.a. his sister. His sister turns out to be the hot chick from Buck Rogers. Jason kills her before transferring his demon snake over, so Jason sets his attention to his niece. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family as his niece using a "special knife" stabs him in the heart and send him to hell.

The world suffers a set back when Jason is officially killed and sent to hell. Years of depression and boredom go by and then somehow Jason comes back to life and has been captured by the government. Jason has been and taken to a "top secret military installation" underneath the grounds at Camp Crystal Lake.

Jason escapes but is accidentally cyrogenetically frozen in time with a government agent only to be discovered 445 years later by a college science party visiting the now inhabited-laid-to-waste-planet-Earth.

Jason is taken aboard their spaceship ( The Grendel) for transport back to their world. Jason thaws out and hunts down and kills the crew of the Grendel.

Jason meets his end...again...when he is killed by the leather-dominatrix-wearing female android. His body falls on some medical repairing hospital bed which starts some cycle of regeneration only to be reborn with a blend future technology in him. Restructured with his human tissue and metal, Uber Jason is born again (not like a Christian) and looks like the Terminator. Uber Jason continues to kill the crew of the Grendel only to be vaporized while re-entering an atmosphere of another planet.

After an outrageous movie featuring Jason in space...in the future...writers script him back into a role with another horror movie icon...Freddy Krueger. In Freddy vs. Jason, Kane Hodder gets dropped from the Jason role and replaced by Ken Kirziner.

It sucked, but anyways...Freddy summons Jason from hell to kill people in Freddy's hometown, so they would remember the now forgotten child killer Freddy. Jason kills teens to restore Freddy's powers only to get his ass kicked by Freddy in the final battle, but prevails and kills Freddy.


In 1992 Jason received the MTV Lifetime Achievement Award...Go Jay! Jason is also one of the most recognizable horror movie icons, because of the hockey mask. He has found his way in to pop culture, has been in numerous novels and comic books that have further explored his tales. Jason has even had his own video game on the Nintendo video game system.

Review #27: I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) is kidnapped, tortured and presumed murdered. Well, the film sounds pretty good so far. Her body is found seventeen days later with a severed right forearm and leg. She is put in intensive care at the hospital. When she wakes up…she is not Aubrey!

She believes that her name is Dakota Moss. On top of it, she lives a totally different life style compared to Aubrey, including her being a stripper. Wow, Lindsay has found her true calling in life...a stripper! This is puzzling to the doctors, detectives, family, friends, and let's not forget the viewers of the movie. Dakota (Stripper Lindsay) claims that she has no idea who Aubrey Fleming (nerd Lindsay) is. Is this person really Stripper Lindsay or is she Nerd Lindsay?

The rest of the movie is centered around finding the killer and whether Lindsay is the Stripper or the Nerd. Or both. Or none. I prefer Stripper Lindsay, but at this point the world already hates me and I have no input in the matter.

Anyways, smoke n’ mirrors, suspense and mystery, and bad acting follows. I Know Who Took My Hour & Forty Minutes Away From Me.

Cast & Notable Credits:
Chris Sivertson (Director)

Lindsay Lohan (Aubrey Fleming/Dakota Moss): Parent Trap (1998), Freaky Friday (2003), Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), Mean Girls (2004), Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)

Neal McDonough (Daniel): Minority Report (2002), Walking Tall (2004), Flags of Our Fathers (2006), The Hitcher (2007)

Brian Geraghty (Jerrod): Jarhead (2005), We Are Marshall (2006), When a Stranger Calls (2006)

Paula Marshall (Marnie): Hellraiser 3 (1992)

Villain: 2/10 pts

I Know Who Killed Her. Really. It was supposed to be a murder mystery movie, but I guessed the killer out really, really early in the film. It wasn’t too tricky to figure out. But some people say I have the knack for stuff like that.

Cast: 5/10 pts

I Know Who Was Cracked’ Out & Couldn’t Act, and as far as the rest of the cast is concerned…they sucked too. Check them into rehab also. I Know Who Wants To Pop Out of This Top! (pictured right)

SFX/Gore: 3/10 pts

I Know There Was Not A Lot of Deaths. What type of movie is this? There were only two deaths. You’re bustin’ my balls here. I give the movie props for it’s cruel torture scene, but that lasted like two minutes. It was the only decent two minutes of the film. For Christ's sake, show more of that if you’re gonna have a suck-filled plot. I Know That More Deaths Would Have Been Better.

TNA: 4/10 pts

I Know Who Didn’t Show Off Their Boobies. The only set was a flash-by-boobing by one of her co-worker strippers. If Dakota Moss is working as a stripper, how come she doesn’t flash anything? I’m just saying, if you’re gonna create this as a storyline back ground, then you better bring the goods. It was like a cheesy Lifetime Original Movie. Show more goods. At least surround the rest of the strip club up with topless eye candy!

I Know Lindsay Had A Stripper Pole Sequence, but it wasn’t that great. At least wear a lot of clothes and then strip down a little bit down to you undies before you start your dance. At least Stripper Lindsay had sex with Nerd Lindsay’s boyfriend to prove that she wasn’t Nerd Lindsay. That little She-Devil!

Story: 5/10 pts

I Know That There Could Have Been A Better Movie Here. Some where in there was a descent idea. Some where. I Know! The whole smoke and mirrors storyline sucked donkey balls. As for the end of the film…WTF? It seemed that the film makers didn’t even know how to end this one. Did the last 5 pages of the script get rolled up into little drug sniffin' pipes for Lindsay? Was that supposed to be a twist ending? Was the audience supposed to go, "Oooh" and "Ahh" in astonishment? It seemed like they had a couple endings and ended up flipping a coin to decide on that ending.

And by the way, why was Snoop Dog the physical therapist for Lindsay? All of a sudden, Lindsay gets new prosthetic limbs, and walks into the therapy room and...Boom! Snoop was there. (Actually the dude looked like Snoop)

"Hey Lindsay!Whatz up girl friend? R’ u chillin’ like a g’zillion n’ down wit the bazillin’?"

I don’t know what that means, but it sounded cool, Dogg.

"Letz get 2 thee back room n’ smoke sum wacky weed doggy style. ‘Cause ya down with the dogg. Watch my new shizzlin' T.V. show Fatherhood! Peace out - shizzolator...Snoop.”

And don’t get me started on the…after one physical therapy session "I know how the walk perfectly" scene. I Know That’s Bull Shit!

T.Gun Factor: 38/50 pts

I’m lucky I rented this on dollar night at the local video store because…I Know Who Took My Dollar. I think I want my dollar back. No…I Know I Want My Dollar Back.

I thought Captivity was a disappointment but this one takes one step further. I’d rather watch Herbie: Fully Loaded over and over again before I sit down and waste time watching this piece of crap again. I Know Who Ripped Me Off!

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on July 27, 2007 and made $7.2 million at the Box Office ($3.5 million opening weekend)
-Lindsay Lohan's DUI arrest prevented her from doing the film's promotion
-Won a record 8 Razzie Awards (The Year's Worst Awards)

Grade: 57/100 pts = F

Tommy Gun Icons:

Horror Icon #1

Sarah Michelle Gellar
Born: April 14, 1977, New York
Married to Freddie Prinze Jr.

Horror Movies/Television Shows:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer T.V. series (1997-2003)
- Buffy Summers

Angel T.V. series (1999-2000)
- Buffy Summers

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
- Helen Shivers

Scream 2 (1997)
- Casey "Cici" Casper

The Grudge (2004)
- Karen Davis

The Grudge 2 (2006)
- Karen Davis

The Return (2006)
- Joanna Mills

The "Others":
All My Children T.V. series (1993-1995)
- Kendall Hart Lang
Small Soldiers (1998)
- Voice of Gwendy Doll
Simply Irresistible (1999)
- Amanda Shelton
Cruel Intentions (1999)
- Kathryn Merteuil
Harvard Man (2001)
- Cindy Bandolini
Scooby Doo (2002)
- Daphne Blake
Scooby Doo 2:Monsters Unleashed (2004)
- Daphne Blake
TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) (2007)
- Voice of April O'Neil
Suburban Girl (2007)
- Brett Eisenberg
Happily N'ever After (2007)
- Voice of Ella
The Air I Breathe (2007)
- Sorrow

It was a tough choice to select my first ever "Horror Icon of the Week", but Sarah won out (Second choice will be the next icon). Sarah Michelle Gellar is best known for her role as Buffy in the television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's probably one of my favorite T.V. shows ever. I fell in love with her from day one. Luckily for me she has gone on to work in the horror movie industry taking on more roles.

If Jamie Lee Curtis was the original "Scream Queen" of horror movies, then is Sarah the new generation's "Scream Queen"? I've thought about it many times before, but I believe "yes".

In the mid-nineties when Scream hit it big in the theaters and revitalized the horror industry, many people were looking for the next "Scream Queen". Neve Campbell, the star of the Scream movies, never really did any notable horror movies outside of the Scream movies and The Craft, so her run at the "Scream Queen" title never got going.

The year after Scream came out, another horror movie franchise started, I Know What You Did Last Summer. Sarah played a supporting role to the lead actress, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jennifer was the next logical choice for the title, but quickly left the horror movie industry after the sequel I Still Know What You Did Last Summer came out in 1998.

Considering that Sarah has been in both franchises and even got a franchise of her own (The Grudge) almost ten years later, I believe if there is a next generation "Scream Queen" it is Sarah Michelle Gellar. Whether or not people agree with me, too bad. That's why I gave her the nod for my first "Horror Icon of the Week". And she's hot!