Review #6: Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Danny Steinmann (Director): You should be ashamed of yourself!

Probably why he never did anything again.

I don't care about the rest of the cast attached to this piece of sh*t. They shouldn't associate themselves with it either. But if you want to know, highlight below. I'm doing them a favor and hiding their names.

* Highlight to Read Cast: *

Rebecca Wood (Lana): Mask (1985)

Corey Feldman (Tommy at age 12): Part 4

John Shepard (Tommy): Down Periscope (1996), The Hunt For Red October (199o)

Juliette Cummins (Robin): Psycho 3 (1986), Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987)

Miguel A Nunez Jr. (Demon): Return of the Living Dead (1986), Leprechaun 4 (1997), The Nutty Professor 2 (2000), Juwanna Man (2003)

Shavar Ross (Reggie): Benson, Different Strokes, Magnum P.I., & Family Matters T.V. shows

Trailer:


Friday the 13th Part 5: The Fuck You Guys Give Us More Money!

What a f*ckin’ rip off! The movie picks up some years later after Part 4: The Final Chapter...I guess they lied...or did they? The film makers continue the story line of the Tommy Jarvis character (the little kid from The Final Chapter).

Tommy is now a twenty something (or a twenty something playing a teen) and has been recently placed on a mental farm, named Pinehurst, due to his traumatic childhood. Tommy is partly on the mental farm because he has been experiencing dreams and flashbacks of Jason. Basically he is screwed up in the head big time.

While out on the funny farm, one of the "residents" accidentally dies in a wood chopping mishap. Shortly afterwards, Jason shows up murdering the local folk of Pinehurst. Tommy comes face to face with his demon once more.

But in the end, we find out that everything is not what it seems. Jason is actually a local ambulance driver named Roy Burns, posing as Jason to kill kids/retards at the mental farm. Roy's son happened to be the one that died in the wood chopping accident. Pissed off at the kids and staff of Pinehurst, Roy uses the Jason legend to take out his revenge on the funny farm tenants.

Tommy spends the movie freaking out with his imagination and then dead bodies pile up which leads to him actually seeing Jason and then he really freaks out. Yep. No real Jason. Instead we get a local ambulance driver named Roy Burns. What a f*ckin' rip off. A big FUCK YOU! Enough said.

Villain:

Just when you thought it you were dealing with Jason, the carpet is swept out from underneath you and then you get a kick in the balls. That's how I feel.

I thought the villain was cool and then they revealed Roy Burns the Fart Knocker ambulance driver. Nooooo!!! How could they?

Cast:

The Tommy character was supposed to be replayed by Corey Feldman, but he couldn’t do the whole shoot. Corey happened to be filming one of my childhood favorites, Goonies, at the time. He did make a cameo appearance at the beginning of the film.

We got like five minutes out of him in some bizarre stupid dream sequence and then the reins were turned over to some other fool. And I really mean fool. The older Tommy version said 24 words outside of laughing and yelling. WTF? Did they cast a retard or something?

The remainder of cast wasn't anything special either. We had one dude that looked like Prince taking a dump in an outhouse, by the way, that's a horrible way to go. Another casting achievement was having Sanford and son acting as the farm's handyman and boy, and the pop singer Pink dancing by herself in her room before she gets killed. I'm kidding...or am I?

SFX/Gore:

Holy crap there was a lot of deaths. I counted twenty of them. Sadly enough, there were characters popping up through out the whole movie that had no connection to the movie what so ever. Cannon fodder.

Favorite Death: The belt buckle squeeze. * Highlight to Read * Actually, the two best are in the same scene. Midway through the film, two of the loony bin kids, Eddie and Tina, are out in the woods doing the nasty and smokin' some green leafy substance. Eddie has to go down to the creek and wash up.

Eddie takes off leaving Tina alone and naked in the woods. Jason sneaks up on Tina with a pair of hedge clippers and Bam! Tina takes them to the eye sockets and is no longer a living member of the cast.

Eddie returns and discovers Tina's dead body and backs up in fright up against a tree. Jason uses a leather strap around the tree and tightens the strap, squeezing out Eddie's eyes. * End. It looked better than what I might have described it.

A cool death that could have been...cut from film to avoid a "X" rating...was Violet's death. Originally, she was cut in half...starting from the crotch up. Gives a new meaning to the phrase, "Crotch rocket".

TNA:

At least the movie made up for its aura of crap with sex and boobies. There were five hot chicks (Shark Factor)...crazy, but hot. Well now that I think about it, those two go hand in hand, crazy and hot. We were treated to triplets of twins, and one foiled sexual encounter. At least they got to go in the wake of a good fashion.

T.Gun's Take:

A bad, bad, bad sequel. Well, actually it was pretty creative and deceitful with the storyline. No one expected the twist ending of the dude copycatting Jason's murders for the revenge of his son. But none of that sh*t here! I don’t stand for that crap.

Just call it another damn movie. Don't bring any of that crap into the Friday franchise. As we can see, the movie paid the ultimate price for it. It's a good idea nonetheless, but a bad franchise to try and pull that crap off with.

A New Beginning is a crappy movie from a pure Friday aspect. It might have worked early on in the franchise, but after Jason had become a staple...a legendary icon...it was a ballsy move.

Like I said, good idea, but don't try that sh*t here. Outside of the twist ending, the movie pretty much lived up to the spirit of the Friday Legacy. There were a few things they could have done better, that might have pulled this one off. For one, it might not have been as worse if Corey Feldman got to continue the roll of Tommy. That character alone might, I mean might, have saved this film.

It seems that every good horror franchise has a rip-off-kick-you-in-the-nuts movie. This was it. It was the Halloween 3 or the Nightmare 2 of the Friday the 13th's.

It's taken me years just to acknowledge it's existence. I get what they were aiming for, but like I said, not here. Take your game somewhere else. I'm done with it. I'm not gonna waste anymore time talking about it.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on March 22, 1985 and made $20.6 million at the Box Office ($8 million opening weekend)
-Multiple deaths scenes were cut from the film to avoid the "X" rating