Cast/Notable Credits:
Tommy Lee Wallace (Director): Fright Night 2 (1988), IT (1990)
Ralph Strait (Buddy): Beastmaster (1982)
Stacey Nelkin (Elle): The Jerk 2 (1984), Yellowbeard (1983)
Nancy Loomis-Kyes (Linda): Halloween , The Fog (1980), Assault of Precinct 13 (1976)
Tom Atkins (Dr. Challis): The Fog (1980), Escape from NY (1981), Creepshow (1982), Night of the Creeps (1986), Maniac Cop (1988), Striking Distance (1993), My Bloody Valentine
Trailer:
I decided to start writing my movie reviews without using much cursing, so I picked this one to start off with...and it was a bad choice to stop.
In Halloween 3, Michael Myers, scratch that no Mikey…wait a second, no Michael Myers? Okay, Dr. Loomis…oops, no Dr. Loomis…Laurie Strode…nope, no Laurie. Then who the hell is in the film? Dr. Dan Challis.Who? Beats me, but anyway, in Halloween 3…okay I can’t do this…f*ck it…this is a piece of sh*t! No Mikey! No Dro. Loomis! Not even a Laurie! WTF!
How is this a HALLOWEEN movie? Or better yet, why is it the third installment of the franchise? None of the characters from the first two films are in it. So much for the not cursing part of the review.
If no one returns to this film, so what is it about then?
A Halloween mask company are developing and manufacturing masks to kill children on Halloween. Wait...no Mikey? So why is it called HALLOWEEN 3???? Com’ on people, get your head out of your asses and c
all it something else, like:The Killer Mask
Attack of the Halloween Mask
Invasion of the Halloween Mask
Or
Halloween 3: This has nothing to do with Michael Myers or any one else, we just want your money
Anyway, Dr. Dan Challis comes across a patient hurt in an attack. The patient is murdered by a mysterious man while recovering in the hospital. The patient’s daughter (Elle) starts a quest to find the killer of her father, and enlists Dr. Dan for help.
The two of them track down her father’s last days to a small town in Northern California named Santa Mira, home of a Halloween mask factory...The Silver Shamrock Corporation. Dan and Elle show up in the odd little town and eventually learn the evil plot of the company…to sacrifice kids for celestial purposes.
The company's CEO has taken the blue rock from the Stonehedge monument and is using its power along with computers to turn the Halloween masks the company produces into a killing machine. Triggered by an annoying commercial (played many, many times through out the movie) a computer chip activates and kills who ever is wearing the mask. The mask crushes the skull, and insects and snakes pour out of the body. Holy Sh*t, this is some pretty f'd up sh*t they're trying to pass on the audience here.
If I haven't established that this movie probably shouldn’t have been called Halloween 3 then let me go on the record. It shouldn't have been called Halloween 3. There...it's official now. I'm not going to call it Halloween 3 anymore, so I'll call it H3. Please Rob Zombie...don't call your third sequel to Halloween, H3. I know nothing's out yet, but eventually they'll get up to that point.
H3 might have made it successfully on it’s own with a different name. The title itself gets all the horror geeks excited to see Mikey once again. Halloween equals Mikey.
John Carpenter (owner of Halloween) thought it would be a good idea to make a stand-alone movie every Halloween about some different evil Halloween tale. That's a good idea, but DON’T use the franchise name especially after having the second one feature the bad guy from the first. You're just toying with the audience now.
The box office receipts backed up the fans disappointment as the movie tanked in theaters and has been ridiculed through out time. At least the next Halloween movie brings back Mikey to the screen. And everyone’s happy once again.
Villain:
No Mikey, but instead we get a bunch of Halloween mask satanic devil worshipers (SDW's) creating masks to sacrifice people. BULL SH*T! The three killer mask (Pictured right) consists of a Jack-o-lantern, Ghost, and a Witch mask.Cast:
I was extremely disappointed with this film, so nobody in the cast really appealed to me. Except maybe Elle...if she would have got naked. Tom Atkins plays the main guy, Dr. C in the film. He's a great horror movie bit-part actor. He stars as the cop in the movie, Night of the Creeps.SFX/Gore:
I give the film credit, they do score nine deaths but the majority of them sucked. H3 also had some big time cheesy special effects involved in the film...yes, I'm looking at you SDW scene at the end.
There were a couple Michael Bay explosions in the film...ah yes, the master would be proud. There's nothing better than "FIRE!"
When the halloween masks melted...or whatever they called it...and possessed the host, a bunch of creepy crawlers came out. It was good, but really puzzling. How do creepy crawlers come out of the human head?
TNA:
H3 gave us three hot chicks (Shark Factor), no boobies, a shower scene, some bondage, and a sex act. It was like a heartbeat of excitement and disappointment.
And it did probably give out the best and funniest line ever. Dr. Dan just had sex with Elle and then he ponders the question,
“How old are you?” That’s freakin' awesome! Have sex first with the chick and then worry about her age later. What a brilliant idea. Shark: is that a line of defense just in case things don't turn out the way they should?T.Gun's Take:
If it wasn’t for the fact that they tried playing this off as Halloween 3, the movie didn’t have that bad of an idea. A lot of whacked ideas in the movie (robots, Stonehedge rocks, just to name a few). And just a piece of good advice:
If you’re taking a tour of a mask factory and you see all the steps to making the mask EXCEPT for the “final processing” (which happens to be in a secured location that is not accessable to common folk) you might want to skip town. Just some good horror movie surviving advice from me. You never know when they'll lure you into a room for a free "testing" of the mask.
No Mikey! WTF? I can’t believe I wasted this much time talking about this movie.
Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Halloween 3 opened 10/22/82 and made $14.4 million at the box office ($6.3 opening weekend)
-Jamie Lee Curtis is the voice of the town’s curfew recording
-Nance Loomis-Kyes played Annie in original Halloween; she plays a completely different character in this movie.
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