David Strathairn (Steven): Eight Men Out (1988), Sneakers (1992), A League of Their Own, The Firm (1993), Dolores Claiborne (1995), L.A. Confidential (1997), Simon Birch (1998), We Are Marshall (2006), The Bourne Ultimatum (2007), The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)
Maya Massar (Mom): The Cabin in the Woods (2010)
Kevin McNulty (Sheriff Emery): Ernest Goes to School (1994), Timecop (1994), Fantastic Four (2005) & 2 (2007), Snakes on a Plane (2006), Watchmen (2009)
Jesse Moss (Matt): Ginger Snaps (2000), Final Destination 3 (2006)
Dean Paul Gibson (Dr. Silberling): Hollow Man 2 (2006)
Don S. Davis (Mr. Henson): Look Who’s Talking 1 (1989) & 2 (1990), Omen 4 (1991), Hook (1991), Kuffs (1992) Hero (1992), A League of Their Own (1992), Cliffhanger (1993), Needful Things (1993), Con Air (1997), The 6th Day (2000), Miracle (2004), Twin Peaks & Stargate: SG-1 T.V. series
Heather Doerksen (Mildred): Good Luck Chuck (2007), The Eye (2008), The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008), Stargate: Atlantis, BSG, Smallville T.V. series
Trailer:
Plot:
After witnessing her ill mother tragically die in a lakehouse fire, a teenager, Anna, is institutionalized to help her overcome with her mental and emotional stress. Anna makes it through her journey and her doctor thinks that it is time for her to be released and start a new phase in getting over it. Some would call it "being crazy", but I would like to look at it as a "mental vacation".
Anna is released and her writer father, Stephen picks her up and takes her back to their isolated lake estate. When they get home, Anna comes to learn that her mother’s nurse, Rachel, has moved into the house and is helping dad “cope” in more ways than one. I bet that involves a little bed side manner.
Anna hooks up with her older sister Alex and the two rekindle their sisterly love relationship. The two of them despise their evil stepmother nanny turned mother, but everything else seems to be going well for Anna…until the dreams and visions set in.
Anna starts having weird ghostly dreams of her mother, the accident and three strange children while she sleeps and sometimes when she’s awake. It seems as if someone from beyond is trying to tell her something. The visions tend to point towards the mysterious stepmother.
Anna shares these dreams with Alex and the two of them start to investigate the past life of Rachel. More and more clues and dreams indicate that Rachel may have been the culprit to stage an accidental death of their ill mother. Meanwhile, Rachel becomes aware that the two are digging a little too deep into her past. Now Anna and Alex must discover the truth behind their mother’s death before someone else gets to them first.
Villain:
Elizabeth Banks (Pictured below) playing the evil stepmother Rachel Summers, can she be the bad girl? Can money, love and lust be motive for killing Anna and Alex’s mother to snug up to dad? Never. Women would never pull such a stunt. Cast:
The cast of the Uninvited focuses on three key members, Rachel, Anna and Alex. Everyone else is relatively minor…including the dad. Emily Browning (Pictured below) plays the lead character of Anna. Anna is a troubled young teenager who is trying to piece together her life after the tragedy of her mother’s death. Anna is the quiet, polite and reserve type of youngling that parents would love to have…except for the whole “screwed up in the head” thing. Anna returns home to have psychic visions from the grave as her mother tries to help her piece together her death. Anna is flipping between the dream and real world causing her to freak out at times. Others look upon her as if she’s lost it. I guess that’s understandable.
Anna’s older sister, Alex is played by the lovely Arielle Kebbel. Alex is the wild one of the sisters. You go girl! She’s the rebel who defies the adults in the film and plays the typical rebellious teenager role. Alex shares a special bond with Anna and tries to help her solve the death of their mother, flush out and implicate the evil stepmother.
SFX/Gore:
There weren’t too many deaths in the Uninvited and the film didn’t have a whole lot of gore; hence the PG-13 rating. I hate that rating. Typically these films tend to set me off, because the studios seem to only care about attracting that extra teenage audience by luring them to some crap fest with a lesser rating. However the rating seemed to work with the Uninvited. There wasn’t a lot of room to make the film totally bloody and gory.
TNA:
Continuing on the PG-13 rating, here’s another category that suffers. The male audience gets token eye candy out of the three female stars of the film. There’s a female for each age demographic. For the ones who like ‘em young, there’s Emily Browning as Anna. She may look like she's 14 and she may have the body of a 14 year old, but she's actually 21. Go figure.
The elder and more mature audience has the lovely Elizabeth Banks to slobber over. And in between looking for the exotic twenty something piece of candy is Arielle Kebbel who is showing off her tummy (Pictured left).
Kebbel and Browning support scenes of wearing skimpy bathing suits…and that’s about it. Female audiences…well you don’t get much…except for Jesse Moss as Anna’s boyfriend Matt.
T.Gun’s Take:
The Uninvited is another Asian remake packaged for the American audience. It’s based off the Korean horror film, A Tale of Two Sisters, which is more of an artsy type of film. I saw both films and actually liked The Uninvited a little bit better. To be fair, I wasn’t really in the mood to see a suspenseful thriller when I watched A Tale of Two Sisters. The Korean film (BHA!) was pretty tough to watch and follow which made it easier to gulp the American version.
Unlike most of the Asian to American remakes, there is quite a big twist at the end of the film. It wasn’t totally some type of spiritual/ghostly type of explanation, but it was a little different. I don’t want to spoil much for you just in case you plan on watching it.
For being a PG-13 movie, I didn’t have that much of a problem with it but it doesn’t mean that I totally loved it. Of course I always will lean towards the side of gore and nudity, but in this case, the rating seemed to fit.
The Uninvited was targeted for the broad scale of audiences and was nothing more than a low grade horror film made to appeal to the younger audience than the older. There were very little suspense or on the edge of your seat moments in the film and overall it seemed to be just a watered down thriller.
Overall I wasn’t “wowed” by the film nor was I “pissed”. It was a tolerable time spent watching the flick, and if it wasn’t for the clever twist ending, I probably would have filed this film under the “I was better off watching the Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer for the ump-teenth time” category.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on January 30, 2009 and made $28.5 million at the Box Office ($10.3 million opening weekend) -Don S. Davis final film; Died June 29, 2008 -Based off the Korean Horror Film: “A Tale of Two Sisters” or “Janghwa, Hongryeon” & the American 1944 film of the same name -Film shot in Vancouver, British Columbia
Cast/Notable Credits: Patrick Lussier (Director): The Prophecy 3 (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Dracula 2 (2003), Dracula 3 (2005), White Noise 2 (2007)
Jamie King (Sarah): Pearl Harbor (2001), Bulletproof Monk (2003), White Chicks (2004), Sin City (2005), Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005), They Wait (2007), The Spirit (2008)
Jensen Ackles (Tom Hanniger): Smallville & Supernatural T.V. series
Edi Gathegi (Deputy Martin): Crank (2006), Death Sentence (2007), Twilight
Tom Atkins (Burke): Halloween 3, The Fog (1980), Escape from NY (1981), Creepshow (1982), Night of the Creeps (1986), Maniac Cop (1988), Striking Distance (1993)
Kevin Tighe (Ben): Eight Men Out (1988), K-9 (1989), Another 48hrs (1990), What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993), Lost & Emergency! T.V. series
Megan Boone (Megan)
Marc Macaulay (Riggs): Edward Scissorhands (1990), Passenger 57 (1992), Bad Boys (1995), Fair Game (1995), Contact (1997), Wild Things 1 (1998) & 2 (2004), The Punisher (2004), Transporter 2 (2005), Red Eye (2005), Miami Vice (2006), Premonition (2007), Feast 2 (2008), Marley & Me (2008)
Richard John Walters (Harry Warden/The Miner): The Island (2005)
On Valentine’s Day in the small mining community of Harmony, an accident happens at the mine as it collapses leaving six men to be trapped in the mine for several days. When rescuers finally reach the men, all but one is dead. The lone survivor is a man named Harry Warden who was left in a comma. The police discover that the dead miners did not die from the mine’s collapse, but rather from the pick axe of Harry Warden. Harry became psychotic and delusional trapped in the mine and killed his fellow co-workers to preserve oxygen. After an investigation the cause of the accident is tracked down to the son of the mine’s owner, Tom Hanniger. Tom neglected to “blow out” the mine’s lines for safety, which lead to an explosion and the collapse of the mine.
One year later Harry awakens from his comma at the hospital and slaughters the staff and heads for the mining tunnels at the Hanniger Mines. Harry arrives to find that the mines are acting as a party site to a bunch of local teenagers. Tom Hanniger is present along with his girlfriend, Sarah, her friends Axel and Irene.
While partying down in the mining tunnels, Harry Warden shows up and starts slaughtering the local teens. Tom and company survive the encounter as the police show up just in time to shoot Harry and chase him deeper into the mines. Harry is presumed dead, but his body is never found. In the end, 22 people are left dead in the massacre.
After a ten years hiatus from the town and in the wake of his father’s death, Tom returns to town (on the eve of Valentine’s Day) to sell the family’s business. Dead bodies begin to pile up as whispers of Harry Warden’s return buzz around the community. A dreadful miner disguised in black and wielding a pick axe sets his eyes on revenge. Harry Warden returns…and is in 3-D!
Villain:
My Bloody Valentine’s features a lesser known classic villain, Harry Warden. Warden does not have the lengthy sequels like others under his belt (yet) as he marks his second appearance on the big screen…the first is the original MBV…but he still is a bad dude who deserves to be more iconic.
Harry is a revenge seeking miner who is entrenched in black, wears an evil old time gas mask and a miner’s helmet with a light on the top. Harry loves to swing his miner’s pick axe at his victims using any point of entry on the body to impale them.
Cast:
The cast of MBV centers around three key members, Tom, Sarah and Axel. Jensen Ackles (Pictured left) plays the lead role of Tom Hanniger. Tom screws up big time as he is at fault for the original mining accident which created the monster in Harry Warden. He knows it and the town knows it as he is not the most popular person on the block.
Haunted with guilt and struck with depression Tom skips town to help ease his mind and put the past behind him. Ten years later he returns to sell his father’s mine, but finds himself in the middle of a revenge plot of a psychotic miner.
Jamie King (Pictured below) plays the role of Sarah, Tom’s girlfriend back in the good ole’ days…she and Tom were “meant to be with each other”. After the massacre, Tom left and she found herself finding comfort in the arms of Axel as they cope with what had happened to them. Sarah takes over her family’s business running the town’s local grocery store and settles down to marry Axel and pop out a little one with him. Tom’s return rekindle’s a long lost love fire between them as she is emotionally torn between her husband and the “one who got away”…or left.
The third leg of the cast’s tri-pod goes to Axel, played by Kerr Smith (Pictured right). Axel is…basically a self loving prick. Axel grows up to be the county’s sheriff and the cheating husband of Sarah. Axel is high on himself and has a huge ego…God’s gift to women type of ego. He never liked Tom and held a grudge against him blaming him for the accident.
SFX/Gore:
MBV came out and sold itself on one big principle…being a horror movie in 3-D. It worked! I was a little skeptical at the 3-D part at first because of the recent wave of 3-D movies. To me, it was Hollywood just selling another gimmick to the audience.
After all, the biggest horror 3-D movies in the past were Jaws 3 and Friday the 13th Part 3…and those effects were just plain goofy. Anyone who has seen Jaws 3 can agree with me that the fake cardboard shark coming at the audience at the end of the movie was just horrible. You know…that sequence where Jaws attacks the underwater control station. The scene took like 3 hours to get over as Louis Gossett Jr. and company look horrified as the cardboard shark moves slowly toward them. Yeah…it sucked.
To say the least, I wasn’t too sure on how MBV would pull this off and look on screen. The end result was pretty darn good. I was surprised with it. Even watching the movie in 2-D held up pretty well. I could tell which parts they wanted for the 3-D look, but it wasn’t done as bad as I thought it would. Still if you can watch it…see it in 3-D. The DVD set comes with 4 pairs of 3-D glasses. F*ck Yeah!
As for the real important part of the movie…the gore…MBV came through for genre fans. It was a great tribute to classic slasher movies. It’s a remake worthy to its cause. Harry Warden used his miner’s pick like a beast in the film slashing and hacking away at all body parts…especially the head.
My favorite death:The Ceiling Midget. *** Highlight to Read ***First of all…there’s a midget in the film. Score one for the home team! Midgets are freakin’ awesome! Okay before I get any more excited, I better move on…there’s a female midget who runs a motel in the film.
After Harry chases a naked chick around the motel grounds, she hides in the office manager’s room underneath the bed as Harry looks around the room for her. They both hear the midget chick manager coming in so Harry hides in the closet and the naked chick lays underneath the bed silent.
The midget chick finds Harry hiding in the closet and he swings his pick axe like a golf swing up through her skull and stakes her into the ceiling. She just hangs there from the ceiling like a light. It was f*ckin’ cool.*** End.
A lot of the other deaths in the film were pretty brutal in nature. I have no problem with that. If you do score the Special Edition of the film on DVD check out the special feature on the deaths and gore. That feature covers the fake dead body props and how they achieved the looks on film. It’s a great 5-10 minute documentary.
TNA:
Yeah…a horror film that actually involves one of its key ingredients (TNA) to it. Unlike many of the recent remakes…excluding Halloween and Friday the 13th…MBV comes through with the gratuitous booby shot in the film. This shot is complementary of Betsy Rue (Pictured left)…and it’s not a quick glimpse…it’s a good long sequence.
The scene starts with her riding a truck driver…which by the way happens to be the co-writer of the film, Todd Farmer. How the hell did he pull that one off? He just happens to get a cameo…which involves the film’s only sex scene. Todd’s got to be a clever, clever man for that…or the director loves him. Did he walk into the staff meeting like:
“Hey I added a new scene last night. And um…it happens to um…be a sex scene. Long story short, Besty is f*ckin’ me and then chases me to my truck naked where I get killed. So great. Then I rewrote a couple other scenes. Cool. Let me know if you don’t like em’. I’ll be in my office.”
I think I need to write more Hollywood scripts if I could get cameo scenes like that. Anyways, Betsy is riding the co-writer pretty hard for a while then he starts to get dress and leave. He picks up a video camera which was recording the event and they argue about it and he takes off.
She doesn’t bother to get dress and follows him to his truck naked where he ends up dying and she is chased around the motel grounds naked by Harry Warden. That’s just some great stuff there. Rack Grade: B
T.Gun’s Take:
My Bloody Valentine is a remake of an old 80’s slasher flick of the same name. They both have similar premises, storylines and one bad *ss killer named Harry Warden. I loved the original movie dearly. It was soo campy and true to the genre.
Did the remake do any justice for the original? Hell yeah. I’m glad to see that people are starting to get the right idea when remaking these classics. It seems that each one is getting better and better as they come along.
The MBV remake does give the horror fans a great deal of blood, guts, and TNA. The film did pretty well on having the audience feel and relate to the characters. They did a good emphasis on trying to make that emotional bond with the audience. However there wasn’t much prize winning writing outside of that, but that’s okay…it’s a horror film.
MBV throws a little suspense into the movie as it throws in a little “who dunnit” murder mystery into the mysterious legacy of Harry Warden. Has Harry returned from the dead or is someone else behind the murders? If you haven’t seen the original, it had the same type of twist to the movie. *** HUGE SPOILER – Highlight to read ***Someone else uses the Harry Warden mystique to carry out the murders. In this remake that someone happens to be Tom Hanniger. Tom has become mentally disturbed over the years and has a mental breakdown that leads him to a delusional state where he sees Harry killing people but doesn’t realize that he is actually the one carrying out the murders.*** End.
There were a couple of spooky moments in the film, which naturally is produced by the 3-D film making and the overall presence of being in a mine shaft. On the topic on mine shafts, I do have to admit that I was a little disappointed with their roles in the film. In the original, a great deal of the murders and end take place in the mines. In the remake…for me…it seemed that it lost some of its mining roots.
If you add up the times spent in the mines, the films maybe equivalent, but the final showdown hardly takes place in the mine shafts and many of the deaths don’t take place in them. I thought that the story line strayed away from them a little bit, and I was a little disappointed in that.
One other minor/major thing I hated was the fact that the town of Harmony wasn’t in Canada. The original took place in butt-f*ck-middle of nowhere, New Brunswick, Canada making everybody Canadian and I could write “eh” at the end of everything I said. But not this one. Bummer. No more “eh”. I can’t use my French Canadian roots to their fullest. Well maybe just one more for old time’s sake…eh. Here's one of their good exports...Avril pictured below. Overall, MBV is a good remake and a fun ride to watch. Just make sure you get the pairs of 3-D glasses and enjoy the movie as it should be. If not…the 2-D version isn’t bad either.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on January 16, 2009 and made $51.5 million at the Box Office ($21.2 million opening weekend) -Filmed in Pennsylvania -First “R-rated” film to be projected in Real D (3-D filming technology)
In 1965, a fire setting troubled youth (Heather) is sent to Falburn Academy, an all girls private school out in the woods. Heather is unhappy to be there as she does not “fit in” with the other girls right off the bat. Heather gets picked on by the popular girl, Samantha, on her first day and is already an outcast of the school. Heather gets into a fight, is called names and even has her milk at lunch tipped over (how cruel!)…and that’s the least of her problems.
There is a greater mystery that surrounds the school, its headmistress, and the woods that surround it. The academy’s headmistress, Miss Traverse, subjects Heather to special tests to see if she’s “gifted” and it’s all part of her scholarship to the academy.
Heather sneaks out of the dormitory late at night and goes into the woods. She hears mysterious whispers and noises and then flees the woods. Heather believes that she wasn’t alone in the woods, that her teachers were somehow mysteriously in there with her. She returns to sleep only to be awoken later on by the sound of a girl crying. The crying girl tells Heather that, “This is my bed” and attacks Heather with an axe. Heather awakens only to find out that it was a dream.
Later on the other girls warn Heather about not going into the woods and they inform her about an urban legend surrounding the woods. The result of the legend is that a girl went into the woods, got possessed by the spirits and returned to kill a teacher.
Particular girls, who the headmistress has been tutoring, start to go missing in the woods, and Heather becomes more intrigued with the mystery surrounding them. Popular belief is that the teachers in the school are witches.
Villain:
The Falburn Academy’s headmistress, Miss Traverse (played by Patricia Clarkson), is the film’s main villain…witch. She’s a cold hearted, strict ruling headmistress with another agenda on her table other than the education of young adults.
Traverse administers a series of special tests to a select few members of the student body hoping to find the ones with special abilities (witch powers). She wants to steal those powers to help bring back the spirits of her kind trapped in the woods.
Cast:
Agnes Bruckner (Pictured Below) plays the lead role of Heather Fasulo in the film. She plays a troubled teen that has been dumped off at a strict private school by her parents. From the first moment she despises the school and plays the “bad girl” role. She even has a couple of clever one-liner remarks that are pretty funny. Bruckner “goes against the grain” with all the other girls and finds herself as an outcast with limited friends. She gains the nickname “firecrotch” because of her red hair. Does the carpet match?
Bruckner is the center piece of Traverse’s plan, and is captured for a ceremonial “power drain” at the end. Agnes comes through and gets pissed off and does a little damage while swinging a mean ole’ axe.
The Woods has another one of my iconic horror actors in the film, Bruce Campbell, who plays Heather’s father, Joe. Bruce Campbell’s the man!
As we have come to love and know, The Chin does have somewhat of a significant part in the flick. At first I thought it was just a cameo of him dropping off his troubled teen at a private school, but then he pops up again for a larger role at the end of the film.
The popular hot mean girl, Samantha, is played by the gorgeous Rachel Nichols. She acts like the mean b*tch to Heather, only to hide her true intentions as the one who wants to help and save her in the end.
SFX/Gore:
The Woods is a low budget independent film that featured a couple of deaths. Nothing in the film was really gruesome in nature, even the deaths. The deaths seemed pretty ordinary, as none of them struck me as awesome.
The tree came to life a couple times in the flick and they had good special effects to them, and they weren’t as cheesy as the “tree rape” looking effects in The Evil Dead.
TNA:
The younger teenage versions of Agnes Bruckner and Rachel Nichols (Pictured Below) star as the TNA in The Woods. The film’s about an all girls private school, so expect 1965 dress code attire, matching grey skirts, long black socks and non revealing sweater tops. They’re not as attractive as our visions of Catholic school girl outfits, but similar in nature. T.Gun’s Take:
Wow. Agnes Bruckner actually played a significant role in a good horror movie. I never thought that it would happen. I’m a big fan of her…looks…and have been suckered in time after time into her other “attempts” at horror movies only to be disappointed in the end.
The Woods on the other hand was actually a pretty decent witch flick. Not the best, but still worthy enough to watch. Usually, I’m not a big fan of “witch” movies, so my expectations were set a little low, but The Woods came up on the “good” side of me. I’m sure ones who do enjoy witch movies would get a kick out of this one.
There were a couple things that I would have liked to be done better, but…you can’t win ‘em all. I didn’t really buy into the whole blood in the food and milk thing, but I guess you need some type of connecting piece. I was also a little puzzled with the blood on the hand covering one’s mouth and sending them into some type of comma deal.
The Woods was a little slow paced and had an overall dark tone to it. The Woods displayed a good colorless film. What I mean is that it did a good job of not using bright colors and stayed with dull shades to help give it the murky and gloomy feel.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on October 3, 2006 and went straight to DVD -M.Night Shyamalan had to change the name of his film The Woods to The Village because of this flick. That makes The Woods a great film in my book on that fact alone!
Matt Craven (Daniel Brecht): Meatballs (1979), Jacob’s Ladder (1990), K2 (1991), A Few Good Men (1992), The Final Cut (1995), Déjà vu (2006)
Jose Pablo Cantillo (Officer Gutierrez): Crank (2006), Cleaner (2007)
Viola Davis (Det. Parker): Antwone Fisher (2002)
Elyse Mirto (Mrs. Carlson): Penny Dreadful (2006)
Trailer:
Plot:
While returning from a fishing trip a father and son (Kale) are involved in a car accident leaving the father dead. One year later Kale is experiencing problems as a high schooler. In his Spanish class, he falls asleep and is awakened by the teacher. They get in a dispute which leads to Kale punching the teacher in the face. If I knew how to speak Spanish, I would say, "Momma said knock you out!"
The teacher presses charges against Kale and he is given home detention by the judge. His probation officer places an ankle monitor is slapped on him and he is confined to his home for the summer. Kale cannot leave the 100 foot radius from the master monitoring device in his kitchen. If he does, the device goes off and alerts the local police. The officer who patrols the neighborhood frequently is Officer Gutierrez, the cousin of the teacher Kale struck.
During his confinement in his home, Kale has taken up an interesting hobby…spying on the neighborhood. Using binoculars and video equipment, Kale uses the upstairs bedrooms to spy on the unsuspecting neighbors.
A little bit into the summer, a good (and not so good…being stuck in home) thing for Kale happens. A smokin’ hot neighbor girl (Ashley) moves in next door. Eager to befriend her, Kale has some problems with his mobility (since he cannot leave the 100 ft radius) and cannot go over to meet her. In the end…the good lord comes through and Kale and Ashley becomes friends.
One late night Kale thinks an apparent murder involving his neighbor Mr. Turner and an unidentified woman takes place. Kale is temporarily distracted from the spying stakeout while walking Ashley home (or at least to the edge of his out of bounds area). When he returns to his room he catches a glimpse of the girl screaming and running around the house. Kale panics and accidentally sets off a camera flash and then cowers out of sight. The next thing he sees is her car driving away from Mr. Turner’s house.
The next day Mr. Turner pops up at Kale’s house and there is a serious tone of “I’m on to you” to Kale by Mr. Turner. Also a woman who looks like the lady pops up on the news as part of a series of missing women. Kale convinces Ashley and his friend Ronnie that Mr. Turner is somehow linked to the missing women. The three begin their own little Scooby Doo investigation as they snoop more into the series of missing women and Mr. Turner’s personal life, trying to link him to the case.
After compiling amounts of circumstantial evidence against Mr. Turner, they are convinced that he definitely has something to do with the strand of missing women. They start following him and snooping around his house until they eventually get caught by him…and the police.
When confronted by the Po-po, Kale does what a good little juvi should do…narc on his neighbor and rat him out on the murders. The police don’t believe the little felon, and blow off his story after a brief investigation into Mr. Turner. It also puts Kale in more hot water with the law.
Kale is trapped to the comforts of his home with a killer neighbor lurking in the distance. The mom and the police don’t believe his assumptions, and it’s only a matter of time before Mr. Turner comes after him and his friends.
Villain:
The villain in Disturbia is the creepy neighbor Mr. Robert Turner (played by David Morse). Mr. Turner is a multi-state serial killer, who just happens to live next door to Kale. He lures young attractive women back to his home and then “disposes” them at his pleasure.
Mr. Turner is a quiet man who keeps to himself (doesn’t want to attract attention), but has that evil aurora to him. David Morse does a great job portraying him in the movie.
Everyone has one of those creepy neighbor figures. Hell, maybe I’m one of those to my neighbors. Does it mean that I go around abducting young women to kill? No…or do I? Hmm.
Cast:
Shia LaBeouf plays the lead character Kale in Disturbia. About 50% of the time I like Shia’s characters in his movies. His characters tend to be the same type of person…kind of like the Alec Baldwin character…in all of his movies.
Basically, Shia plays the character of Shia…just with a different name. Usually he’s a rule pushing, smart *ss kid who tends to get hyperventilated when faced with fear. In Disturbia Shia played that role again, and for this time it worked for me.
Ashley, the smokin’ hot neighbor chick in the film is played by Sarah Roemer. She is definitely a little temptress in the film. She is always flirting and making sexual insinuations at Kale. Ashley’s character is written to be a fun loving, Tom-boy girl next door who everyone kid thinks he has a chance of hooking up with. If that’s the case, then Roemer (Pictured below) hit the nail on the head. Aaron Yoo (Ronnie) is Kale’s crazy, fun loving, goofy friend in the film. His character is a little annoying at times as his “lack of seriousness” goes a little too far. Sometimes I even wanted to sock it to him. But who can hate on Yoo? He did after all sign on for the Friday the 13th remake.
Kale’s mom is played by the lovely Carrie-Ann Moss. MILF! Moss has virtually disappeared since the Matrix disaster…at least the last 1.5 films worth. Once the love flame of Neo, Moss has found herself off the Hollywood map for a while. She pops up in this film and is relatively minor in the grand scheme of things.
SFX/Gore:
There were a couple deaths in the movie, but it was more of a suspense thriller than a hack ‘em up film. It is something that should be expected from a story/remake off a Hitchcock film which was based off another book.
The special effects were pretty good and I thought the film didn’t go overboard in the use of the technology at hand. What I mean by that is, sometimes movies that use cell/camera phones, computers and other such technological equipment tend to…exaggerate of the capabilities of that equipment.
I thought Disturbia did a good job of using them. There wasn’t any “bouncing signals off the moon so I can hack into the government’s data base while pressing *75 on my cell phone” B.S. in it. The devices used all did relatively what they can do. Except for the ankle monitor thing. Somehow I doubt that the Po-po would show up that quick.
TNA:
Well let’s face the facts…Disturbia is rated PG-13…don’t get your hopes up for anything else. Disturbia features Sarah Roemer as its main piece of eye candy for the eager young men and offers the beauty and elegance of Carrie-Ann Moss (Pictured Below) for the more mature audience. Roemer does have several scenes in different two piece swimsuits as she makes use of her parent’s pool. For the ladies…well hopefully you like the looks of Shia LaBeouf or Aaron Yoo or David Morse, because you don’t get much out of this category.
T.Gun’s Take:
I was pleasantly surprised with Disturbia. When I first heard of it, I automatically thought it would be awesome, and then the ratings board slapped it with a PG-13 rating. Bummer. Another good idea goes down the drain. Just in case you don’t know…I’m not a big fan of that rating grouped with my beloved horror genre.
After watching the flick I was actually pleased with it. It was shockingly a pretty good film that flew underneath the radar in my opinion. Shia had a pretty good year with the release of this and Transformers. Though Disturbia is not on the same level of Transformers, but does a good job of holding its own and isn’t too far off…considering the type of film it is.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on April 13, 2007 and made $80 million at the Box Office ($23 million opening weekend) -Russian translation of Disturbia: Paranoia -Based off the story, “It Had to be Murder” and Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” -♫ Disturbia ♫ is also a hit single from R&B artist Rhianna (Pictured Below)
Patrick Wilson (Chris Mattson): The Phantom of the Opera (2004), Hard Candy (2005), The Alamo (2004), The Watchmen (2009)
Kerry Washington (Lisa Mattson): Ray (2004), Fantastic Four (2005) & 2 (2007), Little Man (2006)
Justin Chambers (Donnie Eaton): The Zodiac (2005), The Wedding Planner (2001)
Ron Glass (Harold Perreau): Serenity (2005), Barney Miller & Firefly T.V. series
Jay Hernandez (Javier Villareal): Hostel, Hostel 2, Joy Ride, The Rookie (2001), Torque (2004), Friday Night Lights (2004), Quarantine (2008)
Robert Pine (Captain Wentworth): Empire of the Ants (1977), ID4 (1996), Red Eye (2005)
Keith Loneker (Clarence Darlington): Rock Star (2001), Superbad (2007), Leatherheads (2008)
Trailer:
Plot:
A couple (Chris & Lisa Mattson) moves into a Los Angeles suburb hillside house only to find that their dream house has a flaw with it…a disturbing neighbor. The Mattson’s are a mixed race couple, Chris being white and Lisa being African American, and that upsets their neighbor, Abel Turner (who is African American...and also the American Bad *ss himself, Samuel L. Jackson).
Abel is a hard working, blue collar, old school type of guy who happens to be a LAPD officer. Turner is also a father of two children after losing his wife in a fatal car accident a few years earlier. Abel isn’t too fond of their interracial relationship and holds a deep grudge against Chris as he makes several race oriented remarks in their early exchanges.
The Mattson’s and Abel’s relationship starts off on the wrong note as they have a “late night” party in their backyard swimming pool. Abel catches his two kids witnessing the couple’s extracurricular activity through an upstairs window. To say the least, it sets off Abel. Me, personally I would throw in a bag of microwavable popcorn and catch some late night highlights.
The start of neighbor squabbles kicks off as the two households bicker amongst themselves. One of the key issues between the two is the security lights on Abel’s house. Being security minded Abel leaves his floodlight security lights on all night long as they shine directly into the Mattson’s bedroom keeping them up all night. After numerous pleas by the Mattson’s, Abel continues to keep them on.
The Mattson’s reach out numerous times to trying to “bury the hatchet” between them and Abel, but he continues to be pigheaded and stubborn. Abel uses his “I’m a police officer” status to bully the couple around. The Mattson’s firmly stand their ground and refuse to move from their home.
In a desperate attempt to force the Mattson’s to move Abel hires a local drug dealer to storm and trash their house when they’re not home. The plan backfires when Lisa comes home and finds the intruder in her house. She panics and sets off the family’s security alarm.
Abel and Chris are both down the road at a neighbor’s house when they hear the alarm go off. They both run over to respond to the emergency. Abel shoots the assailant while Chris looks around the house for Lisa.
The rest of the neighbors and police show up before Abel can discard some crucial evidence hiding in the house which links him to the crime. Abel now must sneak back into the Mattson’s residence to find the evidence and get out before he is noticed.
Villain:
Samuel L. Jackson plays the bad neighbor, Abel Turner. Abel is a shady veteran LAPD officer and he is very strict and rule orientated father. Naturally…since he is the bad *ss Samuel L. Jackson…Abel is very intimidating to others, especially Chris. Abel isn’t afraid to play the “race card” when it comes to getting his way or gaining leverage against someone.
Due to the stressful nature of his job as a LAPD officer and loss of his wife, Abel has grown emotionally and mentally unstable. Abel does things one way…his way or no way. It happens to be a dangerous mindset as he battles with his new neighbors over the smallest things.
Samuel L. is the man, but this movie really didn’t do anything to help his legacy. I kept confusing his character with the one he had in the movie, “S.W.A.T.”. He was good in that one too.
Cast:
The core of the cast centers on the characters of Chris (Patrick Wilson) and Lisa Mattson (Kerry Washington). Chris is a pretty weak character as he ends up getting pushed around by others in his life (Abel and his father-in-law).
In L.T. Chris (Pictured right) demonstrates the typical “man of the house” complex as he tries to handle the situations between him and Abel Turner. It’s a little pathetic how he brushes off his wife’s advice and thinks he can take on the peace negotiations himself.
Chris also wants “E.L.E.” (everybody love everybody), but ends up being a tool as Samuel L. intimidates the hell out of him leaving Chris as powerful as a dog with his tail between his legs. Chris takes the same crap from his father-in-law who pretends Chris isn’t there half the time.
Lisa is the strong one of the household. I thought that L.T. should have capitalized on her strong will a little bit more. She clearly is the brains of the household and a more likable character than Chris…and that’s just not because she looks great in a bikini. It helps though.
One thing I hated about Lisa is that she pulled the “baby card” on Chris. Damn women! The couple agreed to hold off on children for a while, but Lisa conveniently forgets to take her birth control pills for some time. I know that Chris acts like a little b*tch about the surprise, but still…that’s cold of her.
SFX/Gore:
The film featured a couple deaths but there wasn’t a whole lot in terms of gore. I expected that because L.T. is more of a “thriller” than a “slasher” flick. It would have been nice to see a couple more random deaths though. Maybe a father-in-law or dumb friend or something.
TNA:
L.T. offers very little from the TNA category outside of the usual eye candy movies thrive on. Kelly Washington (Pictured below) is the film’s main squeeze. L.T. does a great job of featuring her in skimpy bikini outfits as she makes good use of the couple’s swimming pool. T.Gun’s Take:
In the end, how did L.T. hold up? Well I thought that it was an okay film. I liked the idea of a crazed neighbor who happened to be a cop, but the film fell short of my expectations. There were a couple of fun “get underneath your neighbor’s skin” games, but I would have liked to see a lot more crueler things done to one another.
The biggest dispute between the two neighbors was the security light issue. For the Mattson’s, why didn’t they just go out to buy a set of good blinds? They talked and argued about it all movie long but never did anything about it.
I know that lights can be an annoyance, but if that’s the biggest dispute between neighbors…I’m just disappointed. I would have liked to have seen more things like the slashed tires and f*cking with the air condition unit. Those were just minor occurrences in the grand scheme of things.
Overall L.T. is a decent rental movie, but I would have preferred it to be a little better than what it was. L.T. reminds us that we should research just a little bit more before buying our houses. Sure we may find a dream house, but if the neighbor suck, then it might not be worth it…unless you’re a hermit and stay inside the house every minute of the day.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on September 19, 2008 and made $39.2 million at the Box Office ($15 million opening weekend) -Keith Loneker was a former NFL player for the St.Louis Rams -Lakeview Terrace is the name of the area that Rodney King was beaten by the police in 1991
Shark-factor:What is the shark-factor?Unlike the Matrix, I’ll explain the shark-factor.A while back, I was with my friends watching the Planet of the Apes (1968 version).My friend Bookie commented on how hot the chick in the flick was and pretty much said he’d give his left nut to have her. Then my other friend, Shark, commented, “You know she’s like sixty now!”And that dampened the day.So every time we’ve watched an older movie and mentioned how hot the chick was, Shark came in and ruined the day.So to fairly grade the “hotness” of the chicks in the films, I need grade them based on how they looked year they were made and not how old they would be now.So the shark-factor is to make up for any time-age-difference for the women in the films between present date and time and production date and time.So F*** You Shark!
Born: November 11, 1951
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
