Sean Bean (John Ryder): Patriot Games (1992), GoldenEye (1995), Ronin (1998), Don’t Say a Word (2001), LOTR Trilogy, Troy (2004), National Treasure (2004), The Island (2005), Flightplan (2005), Silent Hill (2006)
Sophia Bush (Grace): Van Wilder (2002), Stay Alive (2006), John Tucker Must Die (2006), One Tree Hill T.V. series
Zachary Knighton (Jim): Cherry Falls (2000)
Neal McDonough (Lt. Esteridge): Darkman (1990), Angels in the Outfield (1994), Star Trek 8 (1996), Walking Tall (2004), Flags of Our Fathers (2006), 88 Minutes (2007), I Know Who Killed Me, Boomtown & Band of Brothers T.V. series
The Hitcher is a remake of an early 80’s film by the same name. In the new version two college kids, Grace and Jim, head off to Lake Havasu from Texas on a road trip during spring break. While traveling on the road during a thunderstorm, they encounter a stranded motorist standing in the middle of the road during the night. Jim (driving) swerves to miss him and stalls the car.
Instead of checking out if the guy needs help, Grace pleas and convinces Jim that he’s creepy and they should just continue driving. Jim hesitantly agrees and the two take off leaving the man standing in the road during a down pour of rain. Jim decides that he will stop off at the next gas station and send help for the man.
Jim pulls off at the next gas station to fill up and tells the clerk that a guy needs some road assistance down the road. Jim begins to pump up the gas while Grace uses the little women’s room when a trucker driver pulls into the station. Guess who comes out of the passenger side of the truck? Yep, it was the mysterious motorist who was standing in the middle of the road.
At the store’s cashier counter, Jim apologizes to the man for not stopping to offer help. The man identifies himself as John Ryder. He forgives Jim and then asks for a lift about 20 miles up the road to a motel. Jim feeling shameful of his previous act agrees and the three of them venture off into the stormy night.
While back on the road again a few miles up the road, John and Jim have a less than cheerful chat which ends with John pulling a knife out on them and threatening to kill Grace. John gives Jim an ultimatum while holding Grace in a headlock. John wants Jim to say, “I want to die” or he’ll kill Grace.
While frightened and slowly repeating the words, Jim accelerates his car and then slams on the breaks. John hits his head against the front window. Jim and Grace kick and push John out of the car and then speed off leaving the man injured on the side of the road.
The two immediate decide that they should call the police, but Grace mentions that her cell phone is missing. Oh no! Not shockingly enough, the next scene shows her cell phone ringing in a puddle on the ground next to John Ryder.
Further down the road John eventually catches up with the two and even passes them while riding in the back of a station wagon as a hitchhiker in another couple’s car. Jim and Grace speed up to notify the couple that he’s a crazy man. One thing leads to another and Jim crashes his car leaving them stranded on the highway.
While walking along the highway Jim and Grace both catch up with the station wagon only to find the family dead inside and no sign of John. John reappears in a new vehicle and continues to stalk the two. The rest of the movie continues to be a game of chase between John and the couple with a few deaths along the way.
Villain:
Sean Bean (Pictured Left) plays the film’s bad dude, John Ryder. In my opinion he stole the show. Bean was the only good thing that came out of The Hitcher, everyone else just sucked donkey balls. John was a cold hearted psychopath who stalked and terrorized his prey with no apparent motive behind his actions.
Unfortunately Bean could only do so much for his character. There happened to be a great deal of “suspension of disbelief” when it came to the abilities of Ryder. He single handedly took out most of the New Mexico state police force (and the smaller county sheriff’s department), but he struggled during a fight against Grace.
Ryder’s character was pretty bizarre as he did random things that had huge consequences to them and seemed to have to plan when it came to Grace and Jim. Ryder put himself in jeopardy many times (even allowed himself to get caught by the police) but passed on the opportunities to kill Grace and Jim many times. I thought the film makers did this just to prolong the movie and have many more “exciting” events. Whatever. Bean did the best he could for the character.
Cast:
The cast of The Hitcher was horrible. Well maybe not the actors and actresses themselves, but the characters in the film sucked. Headlining the way of crappiness were Grace and Jim. Grace (played by Sophia Bush) was nothing but a whiny little spoiled girl that brought very little to the table in the movie. I found it hard to remotely cheer or care for her character’s well being. Grace was a weakling in general. She had plenty of opportunities to take Ryder down, but failed to do so.
A crappy and annoying thing that Grace kept doing was exclaiming that, “I have a gun” every time she was in danger with Ryder lurking around. Oooh…I have a gun…really? If I’m a villain I think I would just stop and surrender right then and there because she has a gun. Note: that's sarcasm.
Woman, if you have a gun, you don’t threaten someone by saying you have a gun. The only way you should let them know is by pulling the f*ckin’ trigger and letting the gun speak for itself.
Jim was just a punk and a tool in the film. They could have inserted any dork into this role. Zachary Knighton (Pictured Left) played the role of Jim and did probably the best he could. Jim’s character didn’t ask for anything cool or special so Knighton didn’t really do anything cool or special in return. It’s probably not Knighton’s fault for playing such a paper thin character, but he didn’t really pony anything up to enhance the character either.
Neal McDonough plays the inept police officer in charge...well he strictly isn’t a cop, but he’s like a federal agent or something. His character comes across like New Mexico’s poor man version of a Texas Ranger. Under his command he loses close to a dozen officers to Ryder. Not all of them in the same incident either.
SFX/Gore:
When it was all said and done, The Hitcher had about twenty deaths in the film (also killed a bunny and mosquito). Most of them were random faceless and nameless police officers killed in cannon fodder moments. It was a Platinum Dunes movie, so there was a couple standard explosions in it (Michael Bay started the company).
My favorite kill in the movie was the splitting of the body. *** Spoiler: Highlight to Read ***Ryder captures Jim and chains his arms to one truck and his legs to another truck. Ryder drives one of the trucks forward and the forces pulls Jim’s body apart into two pieces. It was nice and brutal.*** End.
TNA:
The Hitcher was another installment of the Platinum Dune’s remakes that didn’t feature any of the good stuff. The movie was actually a “better watch” for the female audience than the male audience when it came to terms of eye candy. The females had at least three or so dudes to slobber over (Bean, Knighton, McDonough) throughout the film.
The male audience was lucky enough to score a major hottie in Sophia Bush (Pictured Below). Bush is a niece piece to look at…wow, that doesn’t sound a little perverted. Sophia scampers around the film in a skimpy outfit wearing a short skirt and a pair of brown F*ck Me Boots. Bush and Knighton do share a tender moment in the shower at a random motel in the film. Don’t get too excited as nothing is really revealed and the scene is just a watered down love moment.
T.Gun’s Take:
The Hitcher is a classic example of a weak remake and a good argument for why movies shouldn’t be remade. Sure it had all the cool looking special effects that benefit from modern day technology, but the overall look for the film turned out to be…blah.
In my opinion there seemed to be a lack of suspense throughout the film as Ryder had several opportunities to dispense of the main characters, but chose not to. After a while I thought to myself that neither Grace nor Jim is in jeopardy or immediate danger until at least the hour and ten mark has gone by in the film. Boy…was I right. Everything done before that was just a waste of time and a bad way to build up tension.
All the characters in the film were generic and boring. Bean tried to kick some butt with his character, but could only do so much with what he had to work with. Everyone else in the film were stereotypical cut outs from past horror movies. None of the performances stood out from one another. Nobody was intriguing or interesting and I felt nothing for the characters at stake.
Outside of some generic characters, the script also had some pretty dumb scenes and forethought. First of all, Grace and Jim are idiots. Everything they do in the film is dumb and convenient for Ryder. It all starts off with them “ditching” Ryder in the middle of the road during a rain storm. They don’t even give a rat’s ass if he needs help or not. He looks creepy, so we should go.
Its’ funny how the Golden Rule of: “Do to others as you would have them do upon yourselves” goes by the wayside in their minds. The film does give a little dose of their own medicine back on them down the road.
I think their next dumb move comes after they drive the station wagon full of dead people to the diner. Instead of letting people there know what’s going on, they pretend that nothing’s wrong. I would be like, “There’s a dead family in this car! Call the police.”But that’s just too simple for The Hitcher’s plot. Keeping quiet eventually bites them in the butt as the cops find the bodies anyways.
Their next “Great” move comes when they decide to run from the police instead of letting the police help them. I hate how movies portray this in general. Let’s create paranoia and mistrust in the local law enforcement when it comes to a couple of dead bodies popping up. Of course the “hands down” verdict in these situations is that the two of them did the murders and the hitchhiker is just part of their wild imagination. There’s no way that the police would investigate other options. Guilty, guilty, guilty! Well that’s the way Grace and Jim perceives their situation. So they flee from the police and go on the run like Bonnie and Clyde.
This leads to another “get the f*ck out of town” moment in the film. Grace and Jim are involved in a high speed chase with three other police cars and a helicopter following them. Our film’s bad guy comes driving up out of nowhere in his Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am and takes out all three cop cars and the helicopter.
Are you f*ckin’ kidding me? I know the killer’s good, but three cop cars and a f*ckin’ helicopter! Singlehandedly while driving a Trans Am! Wow. Talk about going a little bit too overboard when it comes to great chase sequences.
I could go over more and more dumb scenes/ideas from the film, but I’ll wrap it up with one last head banger, the great escape. Ryder gets caught by the police and pulls off the greatest escape from custody during his transport to a bigger city. He is shackled with leg irons, equipped with a bullet proof vest (I have no idea why), and handcuffed in the back of a county sheriff’s van when he pulls his best Houdini impersonation.
Ryder breaks his pinky fingers and slips out of the handcuffs. He proceeds to cut the guard’s throat with the teeth of the handcuff and then uses his gun to shoot the guards in the front of the van. Holy crap, this guy is the “sh*t” when it comes to slipping out of danger. He's like Chuck Norris! All these scenes are just examples of how lazy and dumb the writing is for the film.
Overall The Hitcher is a mindless horror movie remake that has a lot of fast paced sequences and the occasional brutal death for the viewing enjoyment. If you can put aside on how convenient everything in the film is set up, then you might like this film. For me, it blends in with other so-so horror movies. There aren’t any “one” scene that stands out in my mind to make this film different from any other attempts.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on January 19, 2007 and made $16.3 million at the Box Office ($7.8 million opening weekend) -The car in the film is an Oldsmobile 442 -The London Bridge is actually in Lake Havasu City, AZ -Director Dave Meyers, is known for directing music videos for Creed, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, and The Dave Matthews Band
Jayma Mays (Cynthia): Flags of Our Fathers (2006), Epic Movie (2007), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Ugly Betty T.V. series
Laura Johnson (Blonde Woman): Four Christmases (2008), Falcon Crest T.V. series
Jack Scalia (Charles Keefe): End Game (2006), The Wolf & Dallas T.V. series
Trailer:
Plot:
While returning home on a late night flight from Dallas to Miami, a hotel manager, Lisa Reisert, encounters another passenger on the flight, Jackson Rippner. Jackson and Lisa first met in an airport bar while waiting for their delayed flight to departure.
Jackson comes off as a handsome, charming man that playfully flirts with Lisa. They two of them end up having a drink and having some fun. They part and go separate ways when the plane begins boarding. Ah...young love.
While finding her seat on the plane, Lisa is surprised to find Jackson already sitting down in the seat right next to her. Jackson playfully remarks, “You’re not stalking me? Are you?”
The two continue to pick up where they left off at the bar as the plane begins to depart. Lisa has anxiety when it comes to flying, and Jackson helps keep her calm during a rough take-off. Once the plane is in the air, Lisa asks Jackson what he does for a living. He replies, “Government overthrows, flashy high-profile assassinations. The Usual.” Wow! That's the same as my job description...minus everything in the first sentence.
Lisa believes that Jackson is joking at first, but then Jackson slyly clues her in on his true intentions over the next couple of minutes of conversation. He tells her that she should call her hotel and authorize a move that puts one of the up and coming guests, the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security (Charles Keefe), into another room. It’s a move which obviously puts him more at risk for an assassination attempt.
If she doesn’t make the call, then her father will die. Jackson then pulls out her dad’s wallet which was lifted from his house in Miami to prove that he is serious. He continues to tell her that a hit man is standing by awaiting his instructions to kill her dad unless she cooperates and makes the call to her hotel.
Now Lisa is trapped on a plane with nowhere to go and Jackson by her side to keep her in check. She has no other choice than to meet Jackson’s demands or her father dies. Her dilemma is simple: Keefe’s life or her fathers. Makes you want to think twice when it comes to flying the friendly skies.
Villain:
Cillian Murphy stars as the film’s chief villain, Jackson Rippner…if that was his real name. It sounds a lot like Jack the Ripper, doesn’t it? Jackson first comes across as a nice, charming and handsome young man, but soon afterwards he reveals his dark side and intentions. He’s not afraid to let Lisa know that he has study and stalked her for some time and knows her better than she originally thought.
I really loved Murphy (Pictured Left)in his role. It was a stroke of genius on director Wes Craven’s part. Over the years, Murphy has proved to me that he can play a great villain. As the Scarecrow in Batman Begins he was just okay, but this film brings him to the top of the villain game.
Murphy played the part of an above average looking dude that could have possibly been someone’s knight in shining armor and turned him into an ice cold assassin. It’s one of those things that guys like me like to see this stud that could be a star in many dumb chick flicks get to play the ultimate creepy dude with an ice cold persona to him.
The only real problem that I had with the Jackson character came towards the end of the movie. For a professional assassin/terrorist, he ended up being a pussy during the “fight scene” with Lisa at the end. I thought these guys were a bunch of bad *sses when he came to fighting. Not this guy, he got thrown around like a b*tch during the final fight. I guess it had to happen if the movie was going to have a happy ending, but I thought it could have been done a little better…at least not make him such a puss.
Cast:
The cast of Red Eye was relatively small with a bunch of bit characters on the air plane, a few hotel customers and workers, Keefe and his family and of course Lisa and her father. Lisa was played by the lovely Rachel McAdams who did a fabulous job for her part.
McAdams played a good strong working, career oriented, single female with a lonely heart. She was originally taken in by Jackson, but then became frightened once his fake layers were peeled away. Once she suffered through her emotional distress, she stepped up her game and became a strong lead female not willing to give into Jackson’s demands while attempting to foil his plan.
SFX/Gore:
There wasn’t much in the way of special effects or gore in this film, because it was more of a suspenseful thriller. Red Eye did however have a nice Michael Bay inspired explosion which wiped out a couple floors of a Miami hotel.
As far as deaths go…there wasn’t that many in the film. The only ones to go by the wayside were the bad guys, which really bummed me. I’m sure that they could have thrown a sacrificial lamb or two in the film for good measure.
TNA:
Both sex parties get a good dose of eye candy in the film from the two star characters. The women get the dreamy eyed Murphy while the guys are treated to the lovely Rachel McAdams (Pictured Below). She was hot in Wedding Crashers and she was hot in Mean Girls. So there’s no surprise when I say that she’s hot in this one. T.Gun’s Take:
Red Eye is a good suspenseful thriller to watch…especially for being PG-13. Craven did an excellent job on directing the film and doing what he does best…create a good scary atmosphere. It’s never been disputed that Craven has the skills and ability to make scary intense films, and this was just another example of it.
Craven just proves that blood and guts doesn’t always add up to being scary as he was able to make this film PG-13 and still pull off the horror magic. How’d he do it? The most simple, but forgotten, way of making movies…story telling.
Over two thirds of the movie takes place on an airplane between two people seated next to each other. One is good and the other is bad. The way Craven lays down the story is just awesome. He still creates that terrifying experience with a closterphobic feel to the film. That’s just a great classic Hitchcock set up for a movie.
The biggest gripe that I had against the movie had to be the ending, it was a little too Steven Speilberg-ish (as in a happy, happy, joy, joy ending). This probably started once the airplane landed and Lisa started her hokey airport escape. I don’t want to go into full details and spoil the movie, but I will say that I wasn’t impressed with it.
I thought that she was able to get off the airplane (given the current circumstances) and flee the airport from Jackson a little bit too easy. If the airport security had breaches of that ease, then I wouldn’t feel safe taking flights.
After Lisa’s Houdini from the airport, the final showdown and confrontation between her and Jackson eventually ends up at her father’s house as she attempts to stop the awaiting assassin from killing her father. I’m sure everyone can envision what happens next as Jackson appears at the house also.
One thing leads to another and we finally have Lisa pitted up against Jackson in her father’s house. The two struggle, fight and run around the house. This is probably what irks me the most as we have this professional assassin dude struggling to put down a 100 lb girl. Surprise! Lisa wins and saves the day.
This is a letdown ending to an otherwise great flick. Eighty to eighty-five percent of the movie is awesome but it’s super feel good ending left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m sure an average person that buys into the “suspension of disbelief” factor of movies would love this film. Red Eye isn’t totally a disaster in my book, but it was just a few script writing or scene altering from being a kick *ss flick.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on August 19, 2005 and made $57.8 million at the Box Office ($16.1 million opening weekend) -Name of the hotel is the Lux Atlantic Resort
Matt Craven (Daniel Brecht): Meatballs (1979), Jacob’s Ladder (1990), K2 (1991), A Few Good Men (1992), The Final Cut (1995), Déjà vu (2006)
Jose Pablo Cantillo (Officer Gutierrez): Crank (2006), Cleaner (2007)
Viola Davis (Det. Parker): Antwone Fisher (2002)
Elyse Mirto (Mrs. Carlson): Penny Dreadful (2006)
Trailer:
Plot:
While returning from a fishing trip a father and son (Kale) are involved in a car accident leaving the father dead. One year later Kale is experiencing problems as a high schooler. In his Spanish class, he falls asleep and is awakened by the teacher. They get in a dispute which leads to Kale punching the teacher in the face. If I knew how to speak Spanish, I would say, "Momma said knock you out!"
The teacher presses charges against Kale and he is given home detention by the judge. His probation officer places an ankle monitor is slapped on him and he is confined to his home for the summer. Kale cannot leave the 100 foot radius from the master monitoring device in his kitchen. If he does, the device goes off and alerts the local police. The officer who patrols the neighborhood frequently is Officer Gutierrez, the cousin of the teacher Kale struck.
During his confinement in his home, Kale has taken up an interesting hobby…spying on the neighborhood. Using binoculars and video equipment, Kale uses the upstairs bedrooms to spy on the unsuspecting neighbors.
A little bit into the summer, a good (and not so good…being stuck in home) thing for Kale happens. A smokin’ hot neighbor girl (Ashley) moves in next door. Eager to befriend her, Kale has some problems with his mobility (since he cannot leave the 100 ft radius) and cannot go over to meet her. In the end…the good lord comes through and Kale and Ashley becomes friends.
One late night Kale thinks an apparent murder involving his neighbor Mr. Turner and an unidentified woman takes place. Kale is temporarily distracted from the spying stakeout while walking Ashley home (or at least to the edge of his out of bounds area). When he returns to his room he catches a glimpse of the girl screaming and running around the house. Kale panics and accidentally sets off a camera flash and then cowers out of sight. The next thing he sees is her car driving away from Mr. Turner’s house.
The next day Mr. Turner pops up at Kale’s house and there is a serious tone of “I’m on to you” to Kale by Mr. Turner. Also a woman who looks like the lady pops up on the news as part of a series of missing women. Kale convinces Ashley and his friend Ronnie that Mr. Turner is somehow linked to the missing women. The three begin their own little Scooby Doo investigation as they snoop more into the series of missing women and Mr. Turner’s personal life, trying to link him to the case.
After compiling amounts of circumstantial evidence against Mr. Turner, they are convinced that he definitely has something to do with the strand of missing women. They start following him and snooping around his house until they eventually get caught by him…and the police.
When confronted by the Po-po, Kale does what a good little juvi should do…narc on his neighbor and rat him out on the murders. The police don’t believe the little felon, and blow off his story after a brief investigation into Mr. Turner. It also puts Kale in more hot water with the law.
Kale is trapped to the comforts of his home with a killer neighbor lurking in the distance. The mom and the police don’t believe his assumptions, and it’s only a matter of time before Mr. Turner comes after him and his friends.
Villain:
The villain in Disturbia is the creepy neighbor Mr. Robert Turner (played by David Morse). Mr. Turner is a multi-state serial killer, who just happens to live next door to Kale. He lures young attractive women back to his home and then “disposes” them at his pleasure.
Mr. Turner is a quiet man who keeps to himself (doesn’t want to attract attention), but has that evil aurora to him. David Morse does a great job portraying him in the movie.
Everyone has one of those creepy neighbor figures. Hell, maybe I’m one of those to my neighbors. Does it mean that I go around abducting young women to kill? No…or do I? Hmm.
Cast:
Shia LaBeouf plays the lead character Kale in Disturbia. About 50% of the time I like Shia’s characters in his movies. His characters tend to be the same type of person…kind of like the Alec Baldwin character…in all of his movies.
Basically, Shia plays the character of Shia…just with a different name. Usually he’s a rule pushing, smart *ss kid who tends to get hyperventilated when faced with fear. In Disturbia Shia played that role again, and for this time it worked for me.
Ashley, the smokin’ hot neighbor chick in the film is played by Sarah Roemer. She is definitely a little temptress in the film. She is always flirting and making sexual insinuations at Kale. Ashley’s character is written to be a fun loving, Tom-boy girl next door who everyone kid thinks he has a chance of hooking up with. If that’s the case, then Roemer (Pictured below) hit the nail on the head. Aaron Yoo (Ronnie) is Kale’s crazy, fun loving, goofy friend in the film. His character is a little annoying at times as his “lack of seriousness” goes a little too far. Sometimes I even wanted to sock it to him. But who can hate on Yoo? He did after all sign on for the Friday the 13th remake.
Kale’s mom is played by the lovely Carrie-Ann Moss. MILF! Moss has virtually disappeared since the Matrix disaster…at least the last 1.5 films worth. Once the love flame of Neo, Moss has found herself off the Hollywood map for a while. She pops up in this film and is relatively minor in the grand scheme of things.
SFX/Gore:
There were a couple deaths in the movie, but it was more of a suspense thriller than a hack ‘em up film. It is something that should be expected from a story/remake off a Hitchcock film which was based off another book.
The special effects were pretty good and I thought the film didn’t go overboard in the use of the technology at hand. What I mean by that is, sometimes movies that use cell/camera phones, computers and other such technological equipment tend to…exaggerate of the capabilities of that equipment.
I thought Disturbia did a good job of using them. There wasn’t any “bouncing signals off the moon so I can hack into the government’s data base while pressing *75 on my cell phone” B.S. in it. The devices used all did relatively what they can do. Except for the ankle monitor thing. Somehow I doubt that the Po-po would show up that quick.
TNA:
Well let’s face the facts…Disturbia is rated PG-13…don’t get your hopes up for anything else. Disturbia features Sarah Roemer as its main piece of eye candy for the eager young men and offers the beauty and elegance of Carrie-Ann Moss (Pictured Below) for the more mature audience. Roemer does have several scenes in different two piece swimsuits as she makes use of her parent’s pool. For the ladies…well hopefully you like the looks of Shia LaBeouf or Aaron Yoo or David Morse, because you don’t get much out of this category.
T.Gun’s Take:
I was pleasantly surprised with Disturbia. When I first heard of it, I automatically thought it would be awesome, and then the ratings board slapped it with a PG-13 rating. Bummer. Another good idea goes down the drain. Just in case you don’t know…I’m not a big fan of that rating grouped with my beloved horror genre.
After watching the flick I was actually pleased with it. It was shockingly a pretty good film that flew underneath the radar in my opinion. Shia had a pretty good year with the release of this and Transformers. Though Disturbia is not on the same level of Transformers, but does a good job of holding its own and isn’t too far off…considering the type of film it is.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on April 13, 2007 and made $80 million at the Box Office ($23 million opening weekend) -Russian translation of Disturbia: Paranoia -Based off the story, “It Had to be Murder” and Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” -♫ Disturbia ♫ is also a hit single from R&B artist Rhianna (Pictured Below)
Patrick Wilson (Chris Mattson): The Phantom of the Opera (2004), Hard Candy (2005), The Alamo (2004), The Watchmen (2009)
Kerry Washington (Lisa Mattson): Ray (2004), Fantastic Four (2005) & 2 (2007), Little Man (2006)
Justin Chambers (Donnie Eaton): The Zodiac (2005), The Wedding Planner (2001)
Ron Glass (Harold Perreau): Serenity (2005), Barney Miller & Firefly T.V. series
Jay Hernandez (Javier Villareal): Hostel, Hostel 2, Joy Ride, The Rookie (2001), Torque (2004), Friday Night Lights (2004), Quarantine (2008)
Robert Pine (Captain Wentworth): Empire of the Ants (1977), ID4 (1996), Red Eye (2005)
Keith Loneker (Clarence Darlington): Rock Star (2001), Superbad (2007), Leatherheads (2008)
Trailer:
Plot:
A couple (Chris & Lisa Mattson) moves into a Los Angeles suburb hillside house only to find that their dream house has a flaw with it…a disturbing neighbor. The Mattson’s are a mixed race couple, Chris being white and Lisa being African American, and that upsets their neighbor, Abel Turner (who is African American...and also the American Bad *ss himself, Samuel L. Jackson).
Abel is a hard working, blue collar, old school type of guy who happens to be a LAPD officer. Turner is also a father of two children after losing his wife in a fatal car accident a few years earlier. Abel isn’t too fond of their interracial relationship and holds a deep grudge against Chris as he makes several race oriented remarks in their early exchanges.
The Mattson’s and Abel’s relationship starts off on the wrong note as they have a “late night” party in their backyard swimming pool. Abel catches his two kids witnessing the couple’s extracurricular activity through an upstairs window. To say the least, it sets off Abel. Me, personally I would throw in a bag of microwavable popcorn and catch some late night highlights.
The start of neighbor squabbles kicks off as the two households bicker amongst themselves. One of the key issues between the two is the security lights on Abel’s house. Being security minded Abel leaves his floodlight security lights on all night long as they shine directly into the Mattson’s bedroom keeping them up all night. After numerous pleas by the Mattson’s, Abel continues to keep them on.
The Mattson’s reach out numerous times to trying to “bury the hatchet” between them and Abel, but he continues to be pigheaded and stubborn. Abel uses his “I’m a police officer” status to bully the couple around. The Mattson’s firmly stand their ground and refuse to move from their home.
In a desperate attempt to force the Mattson’s to move Abel hires a local drug dealer to storm and trash their house when they’re not home. The plan backfires when Lisa comes home and finds the intruder in her house. She panics and sets off the family’s security alarm.
Abel and Chris are both down the road at a neighbor’s house when they hear the alarm go off. They both run over to respond to the emergency. Abel shoots the assailant while Chris looks around the house for Lisa.
The rest of the neighbors and police show up before Abel can discard some crucial evidence hiding in the house which links him to the crime. Abel now must sneak back into the Mattson’s residence to find the evidence and get out before he is noticed.
Villain:
Samuel L. Jackson plays the bad neighbor, Abel Turner. Abel is a shady veteran LAPD officer and he is very strict and rule orientated father. Naturally…since he is the bad *ss Samuel L. Jackson…Abel is very intimidating to others, especially Chris. Abel isn’t afraid to play the “race card” when it comes to getting his way or gaining leverage against someone.
Due to the stressful nature of his job as a LAPD officer and loss of his wife, Abel has grown emotionally and mentally unstable. Abel does things one way…his way or no way. It happens to be a dangerous mindset as he battles with his new neighbors over the smallest things.
Samuel L. is the man, but this movie really didn’t do anything to help his legacy. I kept confusing his character with the one he had in the movie, “S.W.A.T.”. He was good in that one too.
Cast:
The core of the cast centers on the characters of Chris (Patrick Wilson) and Lisa Mattson (Kerry Washington). Chris is a pretty weak character as he ends up getting pushed around by others in his life (Abel and his father-in-law).
In L.T. Chris (Pictured right) demonstrates the typical “man of the house” complex as he tries to handle the situations between him and Abel Turner. It’s a little pathetic how he brushes off his wife’s advice and thinks he can take on the peace negotiations himself.
Chris also wants “E.L.E.” (everybody love everybody), but ends up being a tool as Samuel L. intimidates the hell out of him leaving Chris as powerful as a dog with his tail between his legs. Chris takes the same crap from his father-in-law who pretends Chris isn’t there half the time.
Lisa is the strong one of the household. I thought that L.T. should have capitalized on her strong will a little bit more. She clearly is the brains of the household and a more likable character than Chris…and that’s just not because she looks great in a bikini. It helps though.
One thing I hated about Lisa is that she pulled the “baby card” on Chris. Damn women! The couple agreed to hold off on children for a while, but Lisa conveniently forgets to take her birth control pills for some time. I know that Chris acts like a little b*tch about the surprise, but still…that’s cold of her.
SFX/Gore:
The film featured a couple deaths but there wasn’t a whole lot in terms of gore. I expected that because L.T. is more of a “thriller” than a “slasher” flick. It would have been nice to see a couple more random deaths though. Maybe a father-in-law or dumb friend or something.
TNA:
L.T. offers very little from the TNA category outside of the usual eye candy movies thrive on. Kelly Washington (Pictured below) is the film’s main squeeze. L.T. does a great job of featuring her in skimpy bikini outfits as she makes good use of the couple’s swimming pool. T.Gun’s Take:
In the end, how did L.T. hold up? Well I thought that it was an okay film. I liked the idea of a crazed neighbor who happened to be a cop, but the film fell short of my expectations. There were a couple of fun “get underneath your neighbor’s skin” games, but I would have liked to see a lot more crueler things done to one another.
The biggest dispute between the two neighbors was the security light issue. For the Mattson’s, why didn’t they just go out to buy a set of good blinds? They talked and argued about it all movie long but never did anything about it.
I know that lights can be an annoyance, but if that’s the biggest dispute between neighbors…I’m just disappointed. I would have liked to have seen more things like the slashed tires and f*cking with the air condition unit. Those were just minor occurrences in the grand scheme of things.
Overall L.T. is a decent rental movie, but I would have preferred it to be a little better than what it was. L.T. reminds us that we should research just a little bit more before buying our houses. Sure we may find a dream house, but if the neighbor suck, then it might not be worth it…unless you’re a hermit and stay inside the house every minute of the day.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on September 19, 2008 and made $39.2 million at the Box Office ($15 million opening weekend) -Keith Loneker was a former NFL player for the St.Louis Rams -Lakeview Terrace is the name of the area that Rodney King was beaten by the police in 1991
A security garage attendant (Tom) becomes obsessed with one of the female workers (Angela) at his work. On Christmas Eve Angela is working late in the building and decides to head to her sister’s for a Christmas party. Angela is last one leaving the building and journeys down to the parking garage where her car is.
Her car is on parking level 2…hence the title…P2…and when she gets to the car, it won’t start. Angela heads for the security station for some help and finds Tom. Tom walks Angela back to the car in an attempt to help her start her car.
Unfortunately the two can’t get the car started so Tom offers for Angela to stay a little while and have a nice little dinner with him. Angela dismisses his offer and decides to go back to the building’s lobby and wait for a cab. She calls for a cab, but when it arrives outside, she can’t leave the building because of the locked doors. The cab eventually becomes impatient and takes off. Frustrated, Angela goes looking around for the building’s head security man, Carl, but can’t find him.
Angela heads back down to the parking garage and to her car. The parking garage is all locked up and vacant as Angela finds herself alone in the dark. While in the sublevels of the parking garage, Angela is attacked from behind, drugged and knocked out cold.
Angela awakes to find herself chained to a table in the parking garage’s security station. The dinner table is set up nice like a romantic date. It’s an elaborate set up in the station there are lit candles, roses, wine glasses, fancy silverware and plates decorated on the table and all around the station. Angela also notices that her clothes have been replaced with a sleek, white, fancy dress.
The mastermind behind the abduction is Tom. Tom sits across from her as if nothing’s wrong and treats the encounter like a date. He quizzes her about her personal life, but Angela soon realizes that Tom knows more about her than originally believed.
Tom continues to play his mental game of “cat and mouse” with her while holding her captive. Eventually Angela breaks free from Tom and runs around the sublevels of the locked parking garage while being handcuffed. Tom slowly pursues Angela throughout the remainder of the film, toying with her.
Villain:
Wes Bentley (Pictured left) plays Tom the deranged, obsessive security parking attendant of the building. Tom is what people consider to be the true definition of a stalker. It appears that for some time he has carefully watched Angela over the years, studying her until the day he found appropriate to pull out his caper.
What I found missing from this character is his true intention. I know that he was a stalker and obsessed with Angela, that was made pretty clear, but what I couldn’t figure out is what he eventually wanted to do with her. Was he trying to win her love over? Did he just want a date? Was he going to bang her? I don’t know.
Maybe I’m generalizing, but I though stalkers had some sort of dream that they envisioned with their subject. It was like he had her captive all to himself, but kept yakin’ away until she found the moment to escape. There seemed to be no “master plan” or dream with Tom. He went through all the planning and carried out all of the other things, but there was no “If I can’t have you, then no one can…I’m taking you with me to the grave” moment in the film. I’m pretty sure that he had to realize that his night with Angela would have to be his “last stand in life”.
Cast:
Rachel Nichols (Pictured below) plays the part of Angela in the film…a.k.a…the damsel in distress who will eventually turn into the survivor girl. Angela is probably what you would consider to be one of those “career working girls” as she is dedicated to her job at a law firm. She puts in long hours and has little time for a personal life which makes her an easy selection for Tom. Angela displays little effort to put her family above her job as the “tones” in the phone calls with her sister suggests.
I found Angela’s character to be a little prude and had a very little emotional bond with the character outside of her being hot. I thought that she took way too long to say, “F*ck it” throw aside being the victim and actually stand up and defend for herself.
Outside of her and Tom the rest of the cast were just bit characters that pretty much showed up as extras or relatively minor characters in the film.
SFX/Gore:
There aren’t too many deaths in the film, but the few displayed are pretty brutal. There is a guy who gets beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat and then rammed into a wall with a car…nice! Angela and Tom does some nice “battle damage” to each other in the numerous fight sequences. On a sad note…Rocky the Rottweiler “bites it”. Sorry for the pun. But not this dog...he's just a pup.
TNA:
Basically the film is about Wes Bentley and Rachel Nichol’s characters…and that’s your TNA section. One piece of eye candy for the boys and one piece for the gals, it’s as simple as that. I give the edge to the boys because we get to see Rachel Nichols…in a skimpy dress…that gets wet…while being handcuffed. There’s also a little creepy video that Angela discovers of Tom feeling her up while she was unconscious.
T.Gun’s Take:
Overall I thought the concept of P2 was a pretty cool idea for a horror movie. The movie poster is sweet looking! How the film carried that concept out on the other hand, was very poor. It wasn’t horribly done from a production perspective, but I felt that it was missing something. Maybe it was the repetitive nonsense that went round and round with no real purpose.
I got kind of bored with Tom capturing Angela, Angela breaking free, Tom chasing Angela, Tom capturing Angela, Angela breaking free, Tom chasing Angela again and so on and so on. I think you get the picture. What was trying to be accomplished with the film? That Tom couldn’t subdue a bound woman? Tom didn’t know what to do with his prize but talk her to death? I think that is where P2 lost me.
P2 had a great creepy stalker idea, but came up a level or two short of what it could have been. P2 does open up some great titles for sequels and prequels. The film’s lack of success could be followed up with:
P2 2: Tom’s Revenge
or
P2 squared: Fear to the 2nd Power
And then we can move onto:
P3: No Parking
or
P3: Unpaid Parking Tickets
And after that movie’s success we can complete the trilogy with:
P4: Speed bumps
But why stop at a trilogy…let’s make it a quadrilogy! All of previous film’s success could lead up to the highly anticipated prequel:
P1: The Beginning
This can easily be milked into three or four sequels! What is Hollywood waiting for?! What d'ya think?
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on November 9, 2007 and made $3.9 million at the Box Office ($2 million opening weekend) ~ Film’s budget = $8 million -Written by Alexandra Aja (HHE 2) -Film was shot in two months at a Toronto parking garage -3 Different dogs were used to portray Rocky the Rottweiler -14 Different white dresses were used
Pruitt Taylor Vince (Ben): JFK (1991), Natural Born Killers (1994), The Cell (2000), Trapped (2002), Identity (2003), Monster (2003), Constantine (2005)
Laz Alonso (Det. Di Santos): Leprechaun: Back 2 Da Hood (2003), Constantine, Jar Head (2005), Stomp the Yard (2007), Bunny Whipped (2007)
Trailer:
Plot:
A fashion model, Jennifer, is stalked an abducted by a fan. She is held captive in an underground bunker and is subjected to numerous acts of mental and physical torture. I found a simple formula as the movie went on: Jennifer is gassed, or knock out, and then finds herself strapped down to a table or chair when she comes to.
Jennifer is then put through some act of torture. The acts of “torture” weren’t really anything special. She was caused no physical harm; they were just dumb, pointless psychological acts. The worst thing Jennifer had to endure was drinking a milkshake of dead human parts. Really? They do more disgusting things on reality T.V. shows.
The film did this capture thing three or four times within the first half hour of the film. After the first time it was like, I knew nothing bad was going to happen to her. Boring! During her captivity, she finds out that she is not alone, but there is another captive (Gary) in the room next to her. Separated by a plexi-glass window, the two quickly become friends and lovers as they survive an evil game.
Villain:
There are two villains in this movie. They are both brothers who keep scrap books of their victims. They set up a simple set of rules and situations they put their prey through and then document it in a comic book style story in each scrap book. The two brothers share a hidden secret as one of them brutally stabbed their mother at a young age while the other watched and videotaped the murder.
Cast:
Elisha Cuthbert plays the lead female role of Jennifer. Cuthbert is drop dead gorgeous in my book. She’s the type of girl that you would want to bring home to momma many times…and get a high five from dad! With all that said, I couldn’t really buy her role in the film.
She did her best to survive this crap fest, but still her performance came up short. I also like to point out that Cuthbert is becoming Hollywood’s new Teri Hatcher (Pictured right). It seems like she’s always the damsel in distress in her films and shows.
Daniel Gillies (Pictured right) plays Gary (the other captive) and he’s pretty much just another dude. In my opinion, his acting sucked. He came across as too “over the top” in his emotional scenes.
SFX/Gore:
There weren’t too many deaths in the film as the body count came in at a mediocre six. As Jennifer was tested through each her torture ordeals, it was pretty clear that the film was more disgusting than it was creative. Throw out the excessive blood and occasional body parts and the film could have debuted on Lifetime’s New Movie Thursday. Yeah, that’s how scary and terrifying it was. It was that close to being a made for T.V. movie.
TNA:
Elisha Cuthbert in distress…yeah! No nudity…Boo! That’s it. Well any movie that features Elisha (Pictured below) is OKAY in my book. Just seeing her on the screen alone is almost the price of admission. But really, torture-porn? Shouldn’t the second half of that phrase take place in the film? I may be speaking out loud or something, but I think there should be a little bit more here. I’m just saying. You would think…expect…a little bit more TNA out of a movie that fits in the torture-porn genre.
Concept:
I think this film summed up the genre’s tolerance and abundance of the torture-porn movies. It flopped BIG TIME at the box office. I mean TANKED! It made $2.6 million at the box office. The world has finally stood up and declared, “No more!” Unfortunately Hollywood keeps spitting them out, mainly in the ways of SAW.
Captivity really had some good ideas and concepts within the movie, but as a whole, it really blew. First of all, the repetitiveness of Jennifer getting knocked out and placed through another form of torture (which wasn’t even torture…or scary) got old quick. I knew that she was in no physical harm!
Secondly, there was no character development for Jennifer. Honestly I could have cared less about her character. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was played by Cuthbert, I wouldn’t of cared at all. The film didn’t establish any type of connection between the audience and her character. Ten minutes in the film she was captured and at that point all I knew was that she was some lonely stuck up model. Do you think I was cheering for her or the killer? Over the course of the film, I lost interest with the character of Jennifer. I didn’t care that she would live or not.
Thirdly, the movie was too damn predictable. For example, I knew that Jennifer wasn’t going to be harmed physically. Another thing…spoiler…it was kind of obvious that Gary wasn’t the “nice” guy he seemed to be. I’ll just leave it at that.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on July 13, 2007 and made $2.6 million at the Box Office -Production of Lions Gate & After Dark Films -There was advertising controversy in New York and Los Angeles (mainly sick billboards showing acts of torture) that After Dark Films did without the permission of Lions Gate (Or so they say)
Shark-factor:What is the shark-factor?Unlike the Matrix, I’ll explain the shark-factor.A while back, I was with my friends watching the Planet of the Apes (1968 version).My friend Bookie commented on how hot the chick in the flick was and pretty much said he’d give his left nut to have her. Then my other friend, Shark, commented, “You know she’s like sixty now!”And that dampened the day.So every time we’ve watched an older movie and mentioned how hot the chick was, Shark came in and ruined the day.So to fairly grade the “hotness” of the chicks in the films, I need grade them based on how they looked year they were made and not how old they would be now.So the shark-factor is to make up for any time-age-difference for the women in the films between present date and time and production date and time.So F*** You Shark!
new version two college kids, Grace and Jim, head off to Lake Havasu from Texas on a road trip during spring break. While traveling on the road during a thunderstorm, they encounter a stranded motorist standing in the middle of the road during the night. Jim (driving) swerves to miss him and stalls the car.
hould just continue driving. Jim hesitantly agrees and the two take off leaving the man standing in the road during a down pour of rain. Jim decides that he will stop off at the next gas station and send help for the man.
Further down the road John eventually catches up with the two and even passes them while riding in the back of a station wagon as a hitchhiker in another couple’s car. Jim and Grace speed up to notify the couple that he’s a crazy man. One thing leads to another and Jim crashes his car leaving them stranded on the highway.
stole the show. Bean was the only good thing that came out of The Hitcher, everyone else just sucked donkey balls. John was a cold hearted psychopath who stalked and terrorized his prey with no apparent motive behind his actions.
gun…really? If I’m a villain I think I would just stop and surrender right then and there because she has a gun. Note: that's sarcasm.
this role. Zachary Knighton (Pictured Left) played the role of Jim and did probably the best he could. Jim’s character didn’t ask for anything cool or special so Knighton didn’t really do anything cool or special in return. It’s probably not Knighton’s fault for playing such a paper thin character, but he didn’t really pony anything up to enhance the character either.
federal agent or something. His character comes across like New Mexico’s poor man version of a Texas Ranger. Under his command he loses close to a dozen officers to Ryder. Not all of them in the same incident either.
middle of the road during a rain storm. They don’t even give a rat’s ass if he needs help or not. He looks creepy, so we should go.
other police cars and a helicopter following them. Our film’s bad guy comes driving up out of nowhere in his Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am and takes out all three cop cars and the helicopter.
hen uses his gun to shoot the guards in the front of the van. Holy crap, this guy is the “sh*t” when it comes to slipping out of danger. He's like Chuck Norris! All these scenes are just examples of how lazy and dumb the writing is for the film.
