Review #87: The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Martin Weisz (Director)

Derek Mears (Chameleon): Cursed

Flex Alexander (Sarge): Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Jessica Stroup (Amber): Prom Night

Daniella Alonso (Missy): Wrong Turn 2 (2007)

Ben Crowley (Stump): Inside Man (2006), Glory Days T.V. series

Jacob Vargas (Crank): Jarhead (2005), Bobby (2006)

Lee Thompson Young (Delmar): Friday Night Lights (2004)

David Reynolds (Hansel): House of a 1000 Corpses (2003)

Cecile Breccia (Pregnant Women): Starship Troopers 3 (2008)

Michael Baily Smith (Papa Hades): The Hills Have Eyes

Trailer:


Plot:

Nine U.S. National Guard trainees coming back from a failed training exercise is routed to the Army's secret military base at Yuma Flats, New Mexico to deliver some supplies. When they arrive, the isolated tent base is deserted and no personnel is to be found. Puzzled by every one's disappearance, and unable to radio for help (too much interference from the hills) they spot a person using a signal mirror high in the nearby hills.

The sergeant of the group (named Sarge...the film didn't invest much into giving the cast names) decides to take a few of his platoon on a training exercise up the hill to help the mysterious person up the hill and find some answers to a bizarre situation. Sarge leaves two cadets behind, Napoleon and Amber to man the deserted camp and continue trying to radio for help. Him and six others venture up the rigorous hills to rescue the unknown mirror signaler.

As soon as they reach the top of the mountainous hill by rock climbing, they discover that they are not the only ones as the mysterious mutant hill billies pick off the platoon members one by one, using a secret mine shaft system underneath the hills to conceal their whereabouts. The K.M.N.H.B.'s are back! Just a refresher for those who forgot what K.M.N.H.B. stands for: Killer Mutant Ninja Hill Billies (see Wrong Turn review).

The K.M.N.H.B.'s kill the men and capture the women for breeding. I guess that's what I would do if I was a K.M.N.H.B. Especially if the women looked like Jessica Stroup (Pictured Below).
Stuck on top of a rigorous hill with their ropes stolen and members killed or captured, the surviving members must choose to go through the dark mine shaft maze to the bottom and help save captured members or risk free-styling climbing down the hill.

When I heard that this sequel was in the works, I was stoked. The trailers and movie posters for this bad boy were top notch and exciting. I wanted to see this in the movie theater sooo bad. Unfortunately I got side tracked and missed it.

Unfortunately it happened to be a blessing in disguise. I saved myself ten bucks and 90 minutes of my life from doing that. Because this movie is awfully bad...at least from all the promise and hype it could have achieved. I'm glad I rented it on dollar day, because I paid 75 cents too much.

Let's start off by saying, "In Aliens it was pretty kick ass when the platoon of Marines got their asses handed to them by the aliens." I was great and legit. I could see a platoon of bad *ss marines get wiped out by an alien species.

In the H.H.E.2, it's pretty pathetic that a platoon of armed National Guard members gets picked off by a handful of K.M.N.H.B.'s. It's kind of a disgrace to the military folks around the world.

Of course the story sets it up by sending the "rejects" of the Guard to the secret military installation. Right. I could see the military sending their screw ups to a secret military base with supplies. Even with our current government administration (The "W" Economy Crashers), I don't see any one that stupid to send those guys. Let's send Beavis and Butthead to guard the atom bomb. Yes...great idea.

Secondly, they way the cadets were portrayed was stupid. The movie has cadets being little, smart ass bitches to their commanding officer. They back-talked him and spoke out of turn, and tried to be funny.

I've never been in the military before, but I have siblings that have, I've been to military bases and even worked in military structured jobs before, and I KNOW that lack of discipline and order like that would NEVER be tolerated. If I was that sergeant, those cadets would be running and doing push-ups all movie, the way they were disciplined. By the way, don't you love a female with a gun? (Jessica Stroup pictured left)

That's one big problem I had with this film. The second problem...was there even a plot? At least with previous sequels I could settle on the same plot different movie, but this one was lacking anything. The executive's idea: "Lets just put military folks in the hills with the mutants. That will sell."

Apparently it didn't as the film tanked at the box office. Horror fans are not as stupid or easily amused as they thought. Don't get me wrong, it's a cool idea putting the K.M.N.H.B.'s up against the military, but I thought it was poorly developed and played out.

As for the key elements of the film, there was no suspense or scares (outside of cranking up the volume for a cheesy jump scare) in the movie. The kills were typically brutal or bloody as hell. I had no problem with that. In fact some were pretty good, because I felt nothing for the characters themselves. Go ahead and wipe them all out! The most interesting character was Napoleon, who I wanted dead any way. He was a peace loving hippie soldier. WTF? Why the hell are you in the military?

The ending of the film was left a little ambiguous leaving the door open for redemption in The Hills Have Eyes 3! To my knowledge, that is NOT in the works, but should be. BOOM! Straight to DVD. Don't kill the franchise based off this disaster, there are still good ideas that can be "milked" off this concept. Just add more eye candy like Daniella Alonso (pictured right).

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on March 23, 2007 and made $20.8 million at the Box Office ($9.6 million opening weekend)
-Wes Craven and his son, Jonathan, wrote the screenplay together
-The mine shafts created by the same team who did the caves in The Descent