Review #106: Mindwarp (1992)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Steve Barnett (Director): Scanner Cop 2 (1995)

Bruce Campbell (Stover): The Evil Dead

Angus Scrimm (Seer): Phantasm 1-5, Munchie 1 (1992) & 2 (1994)

Trailer: (Fan made)


Plot:

In the year 2037, the Earth's ozone layer has been depleted leaving the Earth a massive radioactive wasteland. Except in a few areas were there are trees and squirrels and our heroes can watch the sunset. The human race has been narrowed down to "In-worlders", Crawlers, and a few (1...Bruce!) normal human beings. The "In-worlders" are kept in a complex where a master computer called Infinisynth keeps them connected into a server and they spend all day connected into the computer dreaming in Infinisynth's programs. I think I know what the Matrix ripped off!

One of the "dreamers", Judy fights the system and questions why she needs to be plugged into the computer and dream all day. She wants to live life goddammit! LIVE! During one of her plug-in sessions, she questions the computer and the computer banishes her to the outside world.

Judy awakes halfway buried in the ground on the surface of a futuristic wasteland Earth. She starts wondering around and is caught in quicksand. She is helped by two mysterious people riding an old farm tractor. They lend her a rope to grab onto and pull her out of the quicksand and to safety. She thanks them and is immediately tied and gagged and thrown in the back of the tractor. I guess that's how the Tractor People say, "You're welcome."

Once we get a closeup of the Tractor People, we find out that they are some sort of mutant offspring who wear steering wheels and bling bling. As the Tractor People make their speedy getaway at the high speed rate of 2 mph, another mysterious person dressed head to toe in garbs picks off the Tractor People one by one and frees Judy. A vehicle of choice for a quick getaway!

Judy panics and runs from him. Why not? The last two people that saved her tied her up and was dragging her back somewhere like a bunch of caveman. I don't blame her for her "trust" issues. These people seem to have a weird way of helping a lady out. The guy tackles her and she rips off his ski mask and goggles to find out that he's a human. And he's the Chin, as in BRUCE "F*CKIN" CAMPBELL! Movie name is "Stover". Stover calms her down by saying that she's not infected and neither is he. She buys it and the two of them head back to Stover's home.

Confused by her new surroundings, Stover tells Judy the story of how we basically f*cked up the Earth and the surface is a wasteland, and radiation has mutated anyone who wasn't covered up in clothing from head to toe. And he believes that he's the only normal human left on Earth. Judy explains to Stover where she's been and he refers to her as an "In-worlder" and he's encountered some in the past.

Stover explains to Judy about the mutant Tractor People are actually called "Crawlers". I like Tractor People better. Stover goes on to say that the Crawlers live underground in a tunnel system digging up the layers of the Earth looking for antique treasures. Also known as digging through the garbage dumps and clinging to all the "shiny" pieces of crap we've thrown away. Our trash today, mutant Tractor People's treasure tomorrow. After explaining the history of the downfall of mankind, they cuddle, share a few tender moments and Stover bangs her. Obviously we learn that it's her first time. At least in real life, not dream world. Ha ha ha ha!

After Stover has the "pipes cleaned", the Tractor People barge in and capture them. The Tractor People take them down underneath the ground into their tunnel system. They separate the two and force Stover to work on the digging line, kind of like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Only he's searching for "cool" garbage to give the mutant foreman.

Judy is taken to a secret room where she is stripped down to her bra and undies and then tied up in some type of floating hammock thing. Judy meets two semi-mutant women. One of them is a teenage girl named Claude, who pretty much looks human, but has some signs of the mutation showing on her face. The other is her mother, Cornelia, who also appears normal, but isn't completely. Cornelia is also the consort to the "See-er" or "Seer". Seer is the leader of the Tractor People.

Cornelia gives Judy a sponge bath while looking for signs of mutation. She finds no signs and becomes jealous. Cornelia takes it upon herself to inject the mutation virus into Judy. So Cornelia loads up a syringe with the "virus" and goes to administer the shot to Judy when Judy knocks the syringe out of her hand breaking the glass vial part. Judy did this while being tied up. Let me reemphasise that...while tied up...restrained...bound...knocking a syringe away and breaking it. Bravo to Judy! As for the inept...that's why you live underground looking for garbage. Cornelia shrugs it off and tells her that she'll be back with more virus potion (not really...she doesn't try again).

Meanwhile, Stover finds an old car motor in the ground and secretly takes off the blade and conceals it while giving the mutant foreman the rest of the motor. Once the mutant turns his back, Stover uses the blade and slits his throat and starts a daring escape attempt. He maneuvers down the tunnels and finds the room where Judy was being held captive, only to find that she is en route to see the Seer.

Judy is brought to some sort of ceremonial room where the Seer makes his presence. He wears some sort of half flesh mask and stands high on the second tier of the room blabbing about religious crap to the mutant crowd. Seer examines Judy and announces that she will bear children for the race. Stover sneaks into the back of the crowd to watch the ceremony. Seer then decides to sacrifice Claude to a machine that chops her up and pours her blood into a bath tub where all the Tractor People drink her blood in honor of the new girl.

Stover tries to make another failed rescue attempt to save Judy and gets captured again. Seer locks him in a partially submerged water cage in the tunnels where virus carrying parasites (leaches) latch onto him. Seer brings Judy to his quarters where he reveals his true identity. Ready for this? Bump bah bum...it's her long lost dead father! OMG! What a twist!

Daddy wants Judy to help rule the underground mutant world with him. And...bear his children. Ugh! Ewe! Daddy wants to knock up his little girl to create a "pure" virus free human being or two or three...whatever it takes to repopulate the world. Judy doesn't want to...I could see why...and she starts touring the place and finding all these mutant babies and women hosts around the place. She scolds dad about how mean and evil he is as he tries to convince her some more. She stabs him with one of Cornelia's virus syringes and injects the virus into him.

Judy then takes off to find Stover. She wonders around the tunnels looking for him, and eventually finds him in the cage and lets him free. Stover is partially paralyzed from all the leaches and she pulls them off him. Daddy catches up to her and takes her back to the ceremonial room as Stover lays in the tunnels out cold. Seer attempts to throw Judy into the machine so everyone could drink her blood. I guess the trying to repopulate the world thing got thrown out the window.

Stover shows up at the last minute...go figure...to save Judy. The climatic fight ensues with Stover throwing daddy into the machine and letting the on looking mutants drink his blood. And then Judy and Stover rule the Tractor People! Not quite.

Stover is slowly feeling the effects of the virus and changing into one of the Tractor People himself. Judy and Stover get back to the surface and she realizes that he's not the man she thought he was any more and bolts toward the direction she originally came from. Stover chases her through the bad lands and eventually dies near the end of the journey. The end. Not yet.

Judy then awakes in the dream program and learns that the computer's system operator was "testing" her and wants her to be the new operator and control every one's dreams. The system operator then takes off his wire helmet and reveals himself to be her father. Shocker! Daddy tells her that she will carry on the legacy as system operator and walks off into the dark. Finally...THE END. A little similar to another movie...hmm...maybe Total Recall?

Imagine if The Matrix, Total Recall, The Hills Have Eyes and Mad Max 2 had a horrible looking offspring movie. It would be Mindwarp. Not even two minutes into the film and I was regretting watching it. I hung with it and finished it out. Why? That's just the way I am. It was pretty painful to watch. I called the ending a few minutes into the film, and everything else was predictable as hell.

There was a reason it went straight to video...no budget. Most special effects (kills and blood) were done in over the top cheesy fashion. The mutant Tractor People looked like a bunch of reject designs of what a hockey mask-less Jason would look like with random crap attached to their wardrobe.

If "The Chin" wasn't in the movie, I probably would have turned it off at some point. But he tends to be the master of starring in crap movies. This is one of those special flicks that you probably would have caught on Rhonda Shear's USA "Up All Night" segments. A few more shots of tequila or whiskey or rum or any alcohol, then I probably could have tolerated and enjoyed Mindwarp a little bit more.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on August 12, 1992 and went straight to video
-Bruce Campbell met his wife Ida Gearon on the set