Remake or Not to Remake?

Normally, I’m not a big fan of remakes. They are a cheap way of making a quick buck and they often insult the audiences and fans of the originals. I’ve thought about the recent remake phase and thought of some reasons why we actually need them…at least as long as they are done right and tastefully and some reasons we don’t need them.

Reasons for:

1. Special effects, baby. You can have much, much cooler deaths. Some films were limited in this area by budget alone. Cheesy deaths were invented to compensate for this area. It’s not the director’s fault. Some times no matter how much they shot the scene, something didn’t come out right. So they had to settle on what they had to work with. I’m not saying that you need to have awesome deaths that have to top the previous, but just be practical in your filming your deaths. You can still have cool deaths without using unnecessary over the top gore. Gore does not necessarily have to be present. Some of the scarier deaths are the ones not seen, but imagined instead or heard. Also, getting the color, feel, and look of blood in the film can be redone in some films. It seems like you could watch two or three horror movies in a row from back then, and have a different look to the blood used. Bright red blood, dark red blood, clumpy blood, thin blood. Obviously, this is an area that can be improved.
2. Villains need to be villains! Villains are now heroes. I’ve been to the theatres to see the latest Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers, and Chucky movies, and I’ve noticed that horror movies aren’t really horror movies any more. The fans cheer for the bad guys to kill. When the franchises were first starting out each one of them was pretty good and scary in their own way. As each one made more sequels they began to parody themselves. Each movie began to lose its horror movie feel because they just pile up bodies, make funny quotes or come up with outrageous plot lines just for the sake of making another (insert icon) movie. I’ve fallen victim to this, but I still remember the times when these bad guys were actuallyscary and evil opposed to being the “hero” of the film. The new current generation of horror fans didn’t get to see the films as they started in their pure form. They’ve had the luxury of seeing all nine or ten of them in a row while pounding down a few brewskies with their buddies. The modern world has “mocked” them in parody films only contributing to the diluted view of what they originally stood for. Now a days (insert icon) is the hero of the film and we cheer for him to kill the victims, we don’t root for the cast members any more. Hence, we’re not scared at these icons any more. We might as well insert them into X-men roles.
3. Hotter Women! As I’ve gone back and started graded these films, I think Oh God, these women aren’t attractive. Man look at the hair! Look at the outfit! Now we can use today’s standard of hot women (thin, scantly clad outfits that will never die with time) and insert them into the film and the film goes up a couple notches in greatness. Although it is tougher to find actresses to show the “goods”.
4. Production. Some older films I watch, I can’t tell what’s going on at times because the lighting or film quality sucks. Sometimes it works in their favor, because it builds suspense and lets the imagination do the work, but other times, it’s just damn annoying.
5. Original idea was good, but the film sucked. Yes, we’ve all seen that movie where the idea was good, but the product just sucked. It’s not a bad idea to revamp it.
6. Introduces the character/idea to a new generation. If it’s done right it could be a powerful tool.

Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Remake:

1. Cheap way of making money. Throw in a legendary icon or movie and it will make money…at least the first week. If you build it, they will come. Yes I’ve fallen into this category, but have also fought it. Typically the scripts suck, characters are paper thin, use of gore is way too over the top, less nudity, and get slapped with that damn PG-13 rating! Why bother?
2. Some things are better off the way the are. That’s what makes them great. This is probably where I’m going feel after the upcoming Friday the 13^th re-imagining/remake comes out. The original is awesome because the killer isn’t Jason, but his mother. Now they want to insert Jason into the role. With the hockey mask. WHY!? I’m just as happy with another installment. You don’t have to redo the whole franchise just to get the popular character in it. Mommy does the dirty work in the first. And the mask didn’t come around until the 3^rd movie. I know it was a genius move, but not having the mask in it doesn’t subtract anything from the previous two. Friday has the most plot holes and continuity errors out of all the franchises. Sure I would love to see everything redone in some type of order that fits, but not at the expense of shifting Jason straight to the beginning.
3. Bad remakes will lower the franchise’s value. Let’s say they do fuck up the new Friday and pisses off the fans. It will just diminish the other films. Like the Matrix series. After watching the third installment, it seemed to mysteriously “dragged” the other two down with it. Same thing with Saw. The first one is great, but the others were crap and “lessen” the first because of their crappiness. A bad remake could do the same thing. Just the cynical attitude alone that people have when they first hear of the remake already puts the film behind the eight ball. Now add in a bad film, and the franchise suffers.
4. Over gore usage. It’s hard for most directions not to use technology to it’s fullest. But with paper-thin writing that gets attached to the script, filmmakers try to compensate with higher unnecessary body count and over the top gore.
5. World’s technology has changed. It’s tough to do a killer-in-the-woods-damsel-in-distress movie when everyone and their brother has a cell phone. Cheap way out: no cell reception. Fuck that. Also, when is the last time you had problems starting your car? That trick just doesn’t work the same any more. Back then it was easy for a car to be flooded, or broke and not start. I don’t buy it in today’s world.
6. It’s a small world after all. There aren’t too many places in the world, where a town or road isn’t too far away. Those plots of “out in the middle of nowhere with no help” is pretty hard to believe. It seems every where there’s a housing development going up or a new shopping mall being built or both, and the world is getting smaller and compact. Trying to find remote locations is more difficult. Even road trip movies push the limits. If someone set their mind to it, they could get cross-country by car in two or three days, and that’s coast to coast. Some movies “milk” the fact that they go two or three states in two or three days and have their car break down on some isolated highway. Don’t buy it. Traffic sucks any more. I would be glad to find an “isolated” highway. But it just doesn’t exist.

Here are some comparisons

Original Vs. Remake Films:

Halloween (1978) vs. (2007)

Favorite to watch: Remake (eye candy)

Better Movie: Original

The Hills Have Eyes (1977) vs. (2006)

Favorite to watch: Remake (original sucked in my opinion)

Better Movie: Remake

When A Stranger Calls (1979) vs. (2006)

Favorite to watch: Neither (not a fan of either)

Better Movie: Original (example of why not to remake)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) vs. (2003)

Favorite to watch: Remake(eye candy/ wheel chair boy annoying)

Better Movie: Original

The Fog (1980) vs. (2005)

Favorite to Watch: Original (new one sucked)
Better Movie: Original

The Thing (1951) vs. (1982)

Favorite to watch: Remake

Better Movie: Remake

Dawn of the Dead (1978) vs. (2004)

Favorite to watch: Remake
Better movie: Both

Both films are kick ass. Hard to compare.






House on Haunted Hill (1959) vs. (1999)
Favorite to watch: Original
Better movie: Original







There are reasons for and against remakes. If they're done right, then go for it. If you're trying to make a quick buck then leave alone.