Sean Bean (John Ryder): Patriot Games (1992), GoldenEye (1995), Ronin (1998), Don’t Say a Word (2001), LOTR Trilogy, Troy (2004), National Treasure (2004), The Island (2005), Flightplan (2005), Silent Hill (2006)
Sophia Bush (Grace): Van Wilder (2002), Stay Alive (2006), John Tucker Must Die (2006), One Tree Hill T.V. series
Zachary Knighton (Jim): Cherry Falls (2000)
Neal McDonough (Lt. Esteridge): Darkman (1990), Angels in the Outfield (1994), Star Trek 8 (1996), Walking Tall (2004), Flags of Our Fathers (2006), 88 Minutes (2007), I Know Who Killed Me, Boomtown & Band of Brothers T.V. series
The Hitcher is a remake of an early 80’s film by the same name. In the new version two college kids, Grace and Jim, head off to Lake Havasu from Texas on a road trip during spring break. While traveling on the road during a thunderstorm, they encounter a stranded motorist standing in the middle of the road during the night. Jim (driving) swerves to miss him and stalls the car.
Instead of checking out if the guy needs help, Grace pleas and convinces Jim that he’s creepy and they should just continue driving. Jim hesitantly agrees and the two take off leaving the man standing in the road during a down pour of rain. Jim decides that he will stop off at the next gas station and send help for the man.
Jim pulls off at the next gas station to fill up and tells the clerk that a guy needs some road assistance down the road. Jim begins to pump up the gas while Grace uses the little women’s room when a trucker driver pulls into the station. Guess who comes out of the passenger side of the truck? Yep, it was the mysterious motorist who was standing in the middle of the road.
At the store’s cashier counter, Jim apologizes to the man for not stopping to offer help. The man identifies himself as John Ryder. He forgives Jim and then asks for a lift about 20 miles up the road to a motel. Jim feeling shameful of his previous act agrees and the three of them venture off into the stormy night.
While back on the road again a few miles up the road, John and Jim have a less than cheerful chat which ends with John pulling a knife out on them and threatening to kill Grace. John gives Jim an ultimatum while holding Grace in a headlock. John wants Jim to say, “I want to die” or he’ll kill Grace.
While frightened and slowly repeating the words, Jim accelerates his car and then slams on the breaks. John hits his head against the front window. Jim and Grace kick and push John out of the car and then speed off leaving the man injured on the side of the road.
The two immediate decide that they should call the police, but Grace mentions that her cell phone is missing. Oh no! Not shockingly enough, the next scene shows her cell phone ringing in a puddle on the ground next to John Ryder.
Further down the road John eventually catches up with the two and even passes them while riding in the back of a station wagon as a hitchhiker in another couple’s car. Jim and Grace speed up to notify the couple that he’s a crazy man. One thing leads to another and Jim crashes his car leaving them stranded on the highway.
While walking along the highway Jim and Grace both catch up with the station wagon only to find the family dead inside and no sign of John. John reappears in a new vehicle and continues to stalk the two. The rest of the movie continues to be a game of chase between John and the couple with a few deaths along the way.
Villain:
Sean Bean (Pictured Left) plays the film’s bad dude, John Ryder. In my opinion he stole the show. Bean was the only good thing that came out of The Hitcher, everyone else just sucked donkey balls. John was a cold hearted psychopath who stalked and terrorized his prey with no apparent motive behind his actions.
Unfortunately Bean could only do so much for his character. There happened to be a great deal of “suspension of disbelief” when it came to the abilities of Ryder. He single handedly took out most of the New Mexico state police force (and the smaller county sheriff’s department), but he struggled during a fight against Grace.
Ryder’s character was pretty bizarre as he did random things that had huge consequences to them and seemed to have to plan when it came to Grace and Jim. Ryder put himself in jeopardy many times (even allowed himself to get caught by the police) but passed on the opportunities to kill Grace and Jim many times. I thought the film makers did this just to prolong the movie and have many more “exciting” events. Whatever. Bean did the best he could for the character.
Cast:
The cast of The Hitcher was horrible. Well maybe not the actors and actresses themselves, but the characters in the film sucked. Headlining the way of crappiness were Grace and Jim. Grace (played by Sophia Bush) was nothing but a whiny little spoiled girl that brought very little to the table in the movie. I found it hard to remotely cheer or care for her character’s well being. Grace was a weakling in general. She had plenty of opportunities to take Ryder down, but failed to do so.
A crappy and annoying thing that Grace kept doing was exclaiming that, “I have a gun” every time she was in danger with Ryder lurking around. Oooh…I have a gun…really? If I’m a villain I think I would just stop and surrender right then and there because she has a gun. Note: that's sarcasm.
Woman, if you have a gun, you don’t threaten someone by saying you have a gun. The only way you should let them know is by pulling the f*ckin’ trigger and letting the gun speak for itself.
Jim was just a punk and a tool in the film. They could have inserted any dork into this role. Zachary Knighton (Pictured Left) played the role of Jim and did probably the best he could. Jim’s character didn’t ask for anything cool or special so Knighton didn’t really do anything cool or special in return. It’s probably not Knighton’s fault for playing such a paper thin character, but he didn’t really pony anything up to enhance the character either.
Neal McDonough plays the inept police officer in charge...well he strictly isn’t a cop, but he’s like a federal agent or something. His character comes across like New Mexico’s poor man version of a Texas Ranger. Under his command he loses close to a dozen officers to Ryder. Not all of them in the same incident either.
SFX/Gore:
When it was all said and done, The Hitcher had about twenty deaths in the film (also killed a bunny and mosquito). Most of them were random faceless and nameless police officers killed in cannon fodder moments. It was a Platinum Dunes movie, so there was a couple standard explosions in it (Michael Bay started the company).
My favorite kill in the movie was the splitting of the body. *** Spoiler: Highlight to Read ***Ryder captures Jim and chains his arms to one truck and his legs to another truck. Ryder drives one of the trucks forward and the forces pulls Jim’s body apart into two pieces. It was nice and brutal.*** End.
TNA:
The Hitcher was another installment of the Platinum Dune’s remakes that didn’t feature any of the good stuff. The movie was actually a “better watch” for the female audience than the male audience when it came to terms of eye candy. The females had at least three or so dudes to slobber over (Bean, Knighton, McDonough) throughout the film.
The male audience was lucky enough to score a major hottie in Sophia Bush (Pictured Below). Bush is a niece piece to look at…wow, that doesn’t sound a little perverted. Sophia scampers around the film in a skimpy outfit wearing a short skirt and a pair of brown F*ck Me Boots. Bush and Knighton do share a tender moment in the shower at a random motel in the film. Don’t get too excited as nothing is really revealed and the scene is just a watered down love moment.
T.Gun’s Take:
The Hitcher is a classic example of a weak remake and a good argument for why movies shouldn’t be remade. Sure it had all the cool looking special effects that benefit from modern day technology, but the overall look for the film turned out to be…blah.
In my opinion there seemed to be a lack of suspense throughout the film as Ryder had several opportunities to dispense of the main characters, but chose not to. After a while I thought to myself that neither Grace nor Jim is in jeopardy or immediate danger until at least the hour and ten mark has gone by in the film. Boy…was I right. Everything done before that was just a waste of time and a bad way to build up tension.
All the characters in the film were generic and boring. Bean tried to kick some butt with his character, but could only do so much with what he had to work with. Everyone else in the film were stereotypical cut outs from past horror movies. None of the performances stood out from one another. Nobody was intriguing or interesting and I felt nothing for the characters at stake.
Outside of some generic characters, the script also had some pretty dumb scenes and forethought. First of all, Grace and Jim are idiots. Everything they do in the film is dumb and convenient for Ryder. It all starts off with them “ditching” Ryder in the middle of the road during a rain storm. They don’t even give a rat’s ass if he needs help or not. He looks creepy, so we should go.
Its’ funny how the Golden Rule of: “Do to others as you would have them do upon yourselves” goes by the wayside in their minds. The film does give a little dose of their own medicine back on them down the road.
I think their next dumb move comes after they drive the station wagon full of dead people to the diner. Instead of letting people there know what’s going on, they pretend that nothing’s wrong. I would be like, “There’s a dead family in this car! Call the police.”But that’s just too simple for The Hitcher’s plot. Keeping quiet eventually bites them in the butt as the cops find the bodies anyways.
Their next “Great” move comes when they decide to run from the police instead of letting the police help them. I hate how movies portray this in general. Let’s create paranoia and mistrust in the local law enforcement when it comes to a couple of dead bodies popping up. Of course the “hands down” verdict in these situations is that the two of them did the murders and the hitchhiker is just part of their wild imagination. There’s no way that the police would investigate other options. Guilty, guilty, guilty! Well that’s the way Grace and Jim perceives their situation. So they flee from the police and go on the run like Bonnie and Clyde.
This leads to another “get the f*ck out of town” moment in the film. Grace and Jim are involved in a high speed chase with three other police cars and a helicopter following them. Our film’s bad guy comes driving up out of nowhere in his Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am and takes out all three cop cars and the helicopter.
Are you f*ckin’ kidding me? I know the killer’s good, but three cop cars and a f*ckin’ helicopter! Singlehandedly while driving a Trans Am! Wow. Talk about going a little bit too overboard when it comes to great chase sequences.
I could go over more and more dumb scenes/ideas from the film, but I’ll wrap it up with one last head banger, the great escape. Ryder gets caught by the police and pulls off the greatest escape from custody during his transport to a bigger city. He is shackled with leg irons, equipped with a bullet proof vest (I have no idea why), and handcuffed in the back of a county sheriff’s van when he pulls his best Houdini impersonation.
Ryder breaks his pinky fingers and slips out of the handcuffs. He proceeds to cut the guard’s throat with the teeth of the handcuff and then uses his gun to shoot the guards in the front of the van. Holy crap, this guy is the “sh*t” when it comes to slipping out of danger. He's like Chuck Norris! All these scenes are just examples of how lazy and dumb the writing is for the film.
Overall The Hitcher is a mindless horror movie remake that has a lot of fast paced sequences and the occasional brutal death for the viewing enjoyment. If you can put aside on how convenient everything in the film is set up, then you might like this film. For me, it blends in with other so-so horror movies. There aren’t any “one” scene that stands out in my mind to make this film different from any other attempts.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on January 19, 2007 and made $16.3 million at the Box Office ($7.8 million opening weekend) -The car in the film is an Oldsmobile 442 -The London Bridge is actually in Lake Havasu City, AZ -Director Dave Meyers, is known for directing music videos for Creed, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, and The Dave Matthews Band
Kevin Gage (Tucker): SpaceCamp (1986), Con Air (1997), G.I.Jane (1997), Point Blank (1998), Strangeland (1998), Blow (2001), May (2002), Paparazzi (2004), Kill Theory (2009)
Lena Headey (Cindy): The Jungle Book (1994), The Cave (2005), 300 (2006), Sarah Connor Chronicles: The Terminator T.V. series
Sean Whalen (Steven): Batman Returns (1992), Revenge of the Nerds 3 (1992), Waterworld (1995), The Cable Guy (1996), Men In Black (1997), Idle Hands (1999), Never Been Kissed (1999), Drive Thru
Thomas Dekker (Tommy): Star Trek: Generations (1994), Village of the Damned (1995), The Land Before Time 5-9, A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Sarah Connor Chronicles, Heroes & Honey, I Shrunk the Kids T.V. Series
A young female wakes up in a casket with no memory of what had happened to her. She has suffered a traumatic head injury (big wound on the back of her head). The “Girl” works her way out of the locked casket and finds herself alone in a mysterious funeral home late at night.
She eventually stumbles her way into the “preparing” room and finds a phone. The Girl dials the police and is unable to report her where abouts due to her amnesia. She gets disconnected from the police (which is a comical error in itself) and then finds a door leading to the exit.
The door is locked, but has a window to look through, and she finally gets a glimpse of the movie’s deranged serial killer (Chrome Skull) on the other side. The killer is dressed in black, supporting a chrome skull mask and on his shoulder he wears a camera to film the coverage of his kills. Maybe he'll post them on YouTube later.
After a series of events, The Girl escapes Chrome Skull’s murder attempt and flees the funeral home into the night. The Girl is then picked up by a passerby named Tucker. Tucker’s truck in low on gas and doesn’t have a cell phone. The two of them are in an isolated rural town and there aren’t too many houses or places nearby. Tucker’s solution is to take her home to his wife.
They arrive at Tucker’s house and she meets his wife Cindy. Of course there is no phone there (disconnected for not paying the bill) so the three of them decide to hold up there until morning, when Cindy’s brother is allegedly coming to visit.
Chrome Skull shows up at the Tucker’s place and kills Cindy during the night. Tucker and The Girl escape Chrome Skull and venture out into the night. Trapped in the middle of nowhere with no phone and limited gas, Tucker and The Girl flee into the night trying to survive the stalking, murderous Chrome Skull.
Villain:
Laid to Rest’s big bad guy is Chrome Skull. Chrome Skull is dressed in black from top to bottom while supported a wicked looking skull mask plated in chrome, hence Chrome Skull. He looks like an evil bad *ss version of Skeletor from He-Man. Chrome Skull wields a big Rambo knife to slice and dice his victims.
Chrome Skull also supports a video camera mounted on his right shoulder so he can tape his victim’s murders. Chrome Skull makes copies of his murders and sends them to the police (as we find his lengthy collection later on in the film). His M.O. is abducting young women and toying with them before he finally kills them.
The true identity of Chrome Skull is never fully revealed, but it is hinted at him being some type of rich person, like a doctor. He drives a new black pimp *ss car with his name (Chrome Skull) on the back license plate. He’s got all the cool toys and gadgets (new cell phones, cameras, GPS) in his car also showing off his wealth.
I love how Chrome Skull plays with his prey during the film, but there was one thing that left a bad taste in my mouth, the video camera. The film leads us to believe that there is just one camera. The camera is just a regular camcorder that anyone could pick up at the store. But in my opinion, the one on his shoulder and the one they feature are two different things.
The one on his shoulder looks just like a box with a blinking light, similar in nature to those security cameras behind counters in stores. I realize that the film crew probably didn’t actually use the camcorder and rigged up something else in nature to portray it, but it just looked a little too “fake” in my book. Outside of that little flaw, Chrome Skull was a pretty cool villain.
Here’s a bad joke:
Q: What do people in Missouri consider as chrome?
A: Duct Tape
Cast:
Bobbi Sue Luther plays the lead female in the film, The Girl (or also known as “Miami” on the marked video tapes). Luther’s character spends the whole film with amnesia and has no idea where she is or who to trust. Her acting was a little so-so, but I bought it a little.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of her character but there was some closure at the end of the film as we got a peek into her life. Chrome Skull throws her the video tape marked “Miami” and let’s her watch it. The tape reveals some of her past…and I loved what they did with it.
*** Spoiler: Highlight to Read ***
Chrome Skull lets her watch how they got “acquainted” with one another, and it turns out that The Girl is a prostitute. It wasn’t really a big shocker to me, but I loved how it played out.
The revelation to The Girl that she was all but a wholesome American girl was the cool part about it. The look on The Girl’s face was awesome. All during the film she had hope that she probably was being sought after by her family and friends and her life was good. Maybe she was a college student, maybe she had a husband. Nope. In the end, probably the only one who was missing her most likely was her pimp. The rug just got pulled out from underneath her.*** End.
Laid to Rest’s next major character was Tucker, played by Kevin Gage (Pictured left). Tucker’s character was a good ole’ country boy with good intentions and a brave heart. Tucker also had to use a walking stick to help him get around because he had some type of limp or medical condition, which kept him from just trying to take on Chrome Skull by himself.
Tucker was the most likable character of the bunch in my opinion. He just had that “thing” about him that made him respectable. Tucker was a cool, down to Earth guy who was just trying to help a girl in need.
Tucker’s wife, Cindy, was played by the Terminator’s Sarah Connor, Lena Headey. I liked her in general, but she didn’t have much of a role as she was quickly dispensed in the film (sorry for the spoiler, but it doesn’t take long to see that happen).
Staying along the lines of the Terminator T.V. show, Sarah’s on screen son, John Connor (Thomas Dekker...pictured left) pops up in the film. Dekker plays a relatively minor role as a punk kid named Tommy. Personally I liked that T.V. show, but unfortunately FOX pulled the plug on it this past spring. Bummer.
There’s another key member of the movie that I haven’t mentioned yet and that is Steven. Sean Whalen plays the role of Steven, a neighboring citizen who gets a knock on the door late at night by Tucker and The Girl. He does the neighborly thing and helps them out, which also leads to him getting sucked into the killing spree.
Steven’s character is frightening to a degree. At times I thought that he might be part of Chrome’s master plan. He fits the mold for being a serial killer. Steven has lived at home with his mom all his life until her recent death…Steven’s like thirty something. No…that doesn’t scream “psycho”.
After all a lot of historical serial killers (real life or movie portrayed) are middle aged dudes that were mommy’s boys. Ed Gein, the Wisconsin cannibal and the inspiration of Psycho, TCM, Silence of the Lambs, was a big time mommy’s boy.
SFX/Gore:
The special effects were good for a low budget film, but it’s no surprise that they were good coming from a special effects artist turned director. Laid to Rest had some nice gory deaths in the film and the body count was in the double digits…which is always good. The audience didn’t get ripped off when it came to the death scenes. The majority of them came on screen in their glorious demise.
Chrome Skull was also an equal opportunity killer. He just didn’t rely on his Rambo knife. He could of…and I would have been fine with that, but he didn’t. Favorite death: *** Highlight to Read ***Knife to the skull:Poor Cindy. She didn’t stand a chance. Chrome Skull gets to her early on in the film. He abducts her while she was sleeping.
Once Tucker and The Girl realize that Chrome was around, they discover him holding her hostage and trapped halfway out the bedroom window. Chrome had her head secured on the outside while the remainder of her body still remained in the bedroom.
Tucker and The Girl find them outside the bedroom window and Chrome barters with Cindy’s life for The Girl’s. Cindy’s bid came up short. Chrome strikes her in the head with his Rambo knife and twists it round and round and nails her head to the outside wall. Poor Cindy.*** End.
TNA:
There were a couple of “pleasant on the eye” actresses to look at in the film. Laid to Rest’s main piece of eye candy is the lovely Bobbi Sue Luther (Pictured Below). Unfortunately she kept her shirt on during the film, but it’s always nice to dream a little bit. Other beautiful additions to the screen are Headey, and Prom Night’s Jana Kramer. Neither of them gives the male audience anything to lose some sleep over, but oh well, it’s just nice to see them.
T.Gun’s Take:
Director Robert Hall has been a long time special effects artist in Hollywood and took a good shot at making a horror film. The story wasn’t the best or easiest to follow at first, but Laid to Rest is a pretty good solid effort in general.
Laid to Rest was a nice brutal and gory flick with a pretty honored cast for being low budget. It’s probably no surprise that Hall lured in two co-stars of the television show Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, a show in which he was the special effects dude. Wouldn’t shock me if that was something they did during the writer’s strike.
Overall, I liked Laid to Rest. It was a refreshing horror movie. The film makers didn’t spend too much time trying to make you think or “wow” you with crazy storylines or concepts. It’s a straight forward slasher film that gets it done.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on April 21, 2009 and went straight to DVD -Filmed in Maryland
Jayma Mays (Cynthia): Flags of Our Fathers (2006), Epic Movie (2007), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Ugly Betty T.V. series
Laura Johnson (Blonde Woman): Four Christmases (2008), Falcon Crest T.V. series
Jack Scalia (Charles Keefe): End Game (2006), The Wolf & Dallas T.V. series
Trailer:
Plot:
While returning home on a late night flight from Dallas to Miami, a hotel manager, Lisa Reisert, encounters another passenger on the flight, Jackson Rippner. Jackson and Lisa first met in an airport bar while waiting for their delayed flight to departure.
Jackson comes off as a handsome, charming man that playfully flirts with Lisa. They two of them end up having a drink and having some fun. They part and go separate ways when the plane begins boarding. Ah...young love.
While finding her seat on the plane, Lisa is surprised to find Jackson already sitting down in the seat right next to her. Jackson playfully remarks, “You’re not stalking me? Are you?”
The two continue to pick up where they left off at the bar as the plane begins to depart. Lisa has anxiety when it comes to flying, and Jackson helps keep her calm during a rough take-off. Once the plane is in the air, Lisa asks Jackson what he does for a living. He replies, “Government overthrows, flashy high-profile assassinations. The Usual.” Wow! That's the same as my job description...minus everything in the first sentence.
Lisa believes that Jackson is joking at first, but then Jackson slyly clues her in on his true intentions over the next couple of minutes of conversation. He tells her that she should call her hotel and authorize a move that puts one of the up and coming guests, the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security (Charles Keefe), into another room. It’s a move which obviously puts him more at risk for an assassination attempt.
If she doesn’t make the call, then her father will die. Jackson then pulls out her dad’s wallet which was lifted from his house in Miami to prove that he is serious. He continues to tell her that a hit man is standing by awaiting his instructions to kill her dad unless she cooperates and makes the call to her hotel.
Now Lisa is trapped on a plane with nowhere to go and Jackson by her side to keep her in check. She has no other choice than to meet Jackson’s demands or her father dies. Her dilemma is simple: Keefe’s life or her fathers. Makes you want to think twice when it comes to flying the friendly skies.
Villain:
Cillian Murphy stars as the film’s chief villain, Jackson Rippner…if that was his real name. It sounds a lot like Jack the Ripper, doesn’t it? Jackson first comes across as a nice, charming and handsome young man, but soon afterwards he reveals his dark side and intentions. He’s not afraid to let Lisa know that he has study and stalked her for some time and knows her better than she originally thought.
I really loved Murphy (Pictured Left)in his role. It was a stroke of genius on director Wes Craven’s part. Over the years, Murphy has proved to me that he can play a great villain. As the Scarecrow in Batman Begins he was just okay, but this film brings him to the top of the villain game.
Murphy played the part of an above average looking dude that could have possibly been someone’s knight in shining armor and turned him into an ice cold assassin. It’s one of those things that guys like me like to see this stud that could be a star in many dumb chick flicks get to play the ultimate creepy dude with an ice cold persona to him.
The only real problem that I had with the Jackson character came towards the end of the movie. For a professional assassin/terrorist, he ended up being a pussy during the “fight scene” with Lisa at the end. I thought these guys were a bunch of bad *sses when he came to fighting. Not this guy, he got thrown around like a b*tch during the final fight. I guess it had to happen if the movie was going to have a happy ending, but I thought it could have been done a little better…at least not make him such a puss.
Cast:
The cast of Red Eye was relatively small with a bunch of bit characters on the air plane, a few hotel customers and workers, Keefe and his family and of course Lisa and her father. Lisa was played by the lovely Rachel McAdams who did a fabulous job for her part.
McAdams played a good strong working, career oriented, single female with a lonely heart. She was originally taken in by Jackson, but then became frightened once his fake layers were peeled away. Once she suffered through her emotional distress, she stepped up her game and became a strong lead female not willing to give into Jackson’s demands while attempting to foil his plan.
SFX/Gore:
There wasn’t much in the way of special effects or gore in this film, because it was more of a suspenseful thriller. Red Eye did however have a nice Michael Bay inspired explosion which wiped out a couple floors of a Miami hotel.
As far as deaths go…there wasn’t that many in the film. The only ones to go by the wayside were the bad guys, which really bummed me. I’m sure that they could have thrown a sacrificial lamb or two in the film for good measure.
TNA:
Both sex parties get a good dose of eye candy in the film from the two star characters. The women get the dreamy eyed Murphy while the guys are treated to the lovely Rachel McAdams (Pictured Below). She was hot in Wedding Crashers and she was hot in Mean Girls. So there’s no surprise when I say that she’s hot in this one. T.Gun’s Take:
Red Eye is a good suspenseful thriller to watch…especially for being PG-13. Craven did an excellent job on directing the film and doing what he does best…create a good scary atmosphere. It’s never been disputed that Craven has the skills and ability to make scary intense films, and this was just another example of it.
Craven just proves that blood and guts doesn’t always add up to being scary as he was able to make this film PG-13 and still pull off the horror magic. How’d he do it? The most simple, but forgotten, way of making movies…story telling.
Over two thirds of the movie takes place on an airplane between two people seated next to each other. One is good and the other is bad. The way Craven lays down the story is just awesome. He still creates that terrifying experience with a closterphobic feel to the film. That’s just a great classic Hitchcock set up for a movie.
The biggest gripe that I had against the movie had to be the ending, it was a little too Steven Speilberg-ish (as in a happy, happy, joy, joy ending). This probably started once the airplane landed and Lisa started her hokey airport escape. I don’t want to go into full details and spoil the movie, but I will say that I wasn’t impressed with it.
I thought that she was able to get off the airplane (given the current circumstances) and flee the airport from Jackson a little bit too easy. If the airport security had breaches of that ease, then I wouldn’t feel safe taking flights.
After Lisa’s Houdini from the airport, the final showdown and confrontation between her and Jackson eventually ends up at her father’s house as she attempts to stop the awaiting assassin from killing her father. I’m sure everyone can envision what happens next as Jackson appears at the house also.
One thing leads to another and we finally have Lisa pitted up against Jackson in her father’s house. The two struggle, fight and run around the house. This is probably what irks me the most as we have this professional assassin dude struggling to put down a 100 lb girl. Surprise! Lisa wins and saves the day.
This is a letdown ending to an otherwise great flick. Eighty to eighty-five percent of the movie is awesome but it’s super feel good ending left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m sure an average person that buys into the “suspension of disbelief” factor of movies would love this film. Red Eye isn’t totally a disaster in my book, but it was just a few script writing or scene altering from being a kick *ss flick.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on August 19, 2005 and made $57.8 million at the Box Office ($16.1 million opening weekend) -Name of the hotel is the Lux Atlantic Resort
I took a couple of weeks off from posting reviews, but I did use that time to go back touch-up and redo some older reviews. I added some more content, pictures, rewrote some of my poor early additions and added links (or fixed broken ones) to other reviews and content.
The links are featured in a bold color and should take you there when clicked (hopefully). I was surprised on how many random people are involved in horror industry through acting, directing or other instrumental parts. To honor some of those lesser known I’ve created more horror icons not just for being well known throughout the main stream media, but for their contributions to the horror industry. Summer Horror Movies
Here are some movie trailers for some up and coming summer horror movies. The biggest weekend comes up on August 28 when Rob Zombie’s second vision of Halloween goes toe to toe in opening with THE Final Destination. By the way that is the dumbest title for a fourth installment of a franchise… “THE” Final Destination, which will presumably be followed with its sequel THE Final Destination 2 (a.k.a. Final Destination 5).
Halloween 2
The Final Destination
THE Final Destination stars Krista Allen (Feast), Nick Zano (Joyride 2) and a bunch of others.
Upcoming Movies
I know I’ve been biased and giving more press and love for the Halloween and Friday the 13th franchises compared to the A Nightmare on Elm St. franchise, but I want to make up for that. If you haven’t heard, ANOES is currently being filmed and remade in the Windy City (as of now). I’ll try to get some pictures and video of it when I come across it. The tentative release date is April 16, 2010.
As for another classic horror film being remade, the movie Piranha is currently underway in Arizona and plans to come out in March 19, 2010 (release date is subject to change). Here’s a lovely picture below of some possible biting victims, Kelly Brook and Riley Steele playing around with their bikini’s and apply lotion to one another. This movie is gonna rock!
Chris Penn (Ray Feathers): Footloose (1984), Pale Rider (1985), Mobsters (1991), Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), Mulholland Falls (1996), Rush Hour (1998), Corky Romano (2001), Stealing Harvard (2002), Starsky & Hutch (2004), After the Sunset (2004)
R.D. Call (Cpt. Cody): Born on the 4th of July (1989), Young Guns 2 (1990), Waterworld (1995),
Tom Verica (Ast. D.A. Swanson): Die Hard 2 (1990), Red Dragon (2002), Flags of Our Fathers (2006), Zodiac (2007), The Naked Truth, Providence, American Dreams & The Nine T.V. Series
Trailer:
Plot:
Two high school kids, Justin and Richard, decide to commit the “perfect crime”. The two come up with a plan to kill a person and try to see if they get away with it. Justin and Richard abduct a random local female (Olivia Lake), kill her and then they leave her body in the woods for the police to find.
The lead detective on the case is Cassie Mayweather (Sandra Bullock), who has had a traumatic life altering event in her past similar to the case. Her investigation eventually leads to the two teens as she tries to coax them into a confession. Justin and Richard play a cat and mouse game with her, doing everything but admitting to the crime.
Villain:
Richard Haywood and Justin Pendleton are the film’s co-plotting villains. The two troubled teens have set out to plan the perfect murder and get away with it. Basically two high schoolers come up with an elaborate plan to kill someone while having the perfect alibi.
Right here is my biggest beef with the movie…the two villains. We’ve all seen movies where some seniors in high school go out and kill someone. I usually have no problem with that. Murder by Number’s problem is…the two kids they’ve casted to be villains. I look at them and I’m not definitely intimidated by them.
Honestly, I look at them and think that they are a little…gay. I mean not as in “happy” gay, but more “I love to go shopping at the Banana Republic on the weekends” gay. Come on’ who’s going to be afraid of a bunch of little twerps that don’t represent anything masculine at all? I was less than impressed with the casting of the two murders.
As for the two murders themselves in the movie, I think that the producers were going down the right track, but the casting of them just ruined them. Richard (Ryan Gosling) is the school’s spoiled little rich kid with endless amounts of cash to blow at his disposal. Daddy’s off making money and mommy is sitting at home getting plastered. So what’s a kid to do? How ‘bout kill someone just for fun?
Richard attempts to seduce Cassie because…well…he thinks that he’s the sh*t. You know…God’s gift to women. I just couldn’t buy that aspect of it (casting related). Richard thinks he’s untouchable by the law and continues to push the buttons of the police. Richard is basically a prick.
Justin (Michael Pitt) on the other hand is the polar opposite of Richard. Justin is the secluded type. He keeps to himself, with his nose buried in his books. Justin’s the sappy “nobody loves me” guy that goes around school trying to be unnoticed. But Justin’s the smart one of the two.
Cast:
Sandra Bullock stars in the film as the lead detective, Cassie Mayweather. Cassie’s character is a little bit out of the norm for Sandra. Cassie has had a traumatic experience with a boyfriend in her past which left her nearly dead. She went on into the detective field to try and purge those demons that haunt her. Cassie struggles and eventually overcomes her personal demons as she closes the case on the murders.
Cassie has dedicated her life to work, and cares very little for the male species. She typically uses the male for her own personal needs and satisfaction and then discards them quickly before any emotional bond is made. Isn’t that like gender role reversal? Typically the males look to satisfy their needs and take off when they are met.
Ben Chaplin plays Cassie’s partner, Sam Kennedy. Sam’s kind of a likable guy in the movie. He means well in his intentions and is more or less a lovable loaf. But I can’t get over the whole “uni-brow” thing Chaplin has. It was a little distracting.
The film uses him as the second half of the role reversal in his relationship with Cassie. Cassie plays the typical “I’m moving on” guy role, while Sam plays the traditional female role of “let’s settle down and cuddle”. I found that plot line of the film pretty fascinating.
SFX/Gore:
Murder by Numbers really isn’t a movie for “high body counts”. It’s more of a psychological thriller that plots the police versus the bad kids. There were a couple deaths in the movie, but the biggest death surrounds the female victim. There was nothing in the film (blood wise) that was gory, or brutal. Basically it was lack-luster when it came to gore, but it was done with some tastefulness and class.
TNA:
The movie is limited with eye candy for the male audience, but its quality not quantity. Bullock (Pictured Below) is still a very attractive female for her age. She’s not uberly hot in a model sense, but has that Tom-boy, geeky girl quality that drive guys nuts. Murder by Numbers does have the hot girl part in it…and that part goes to the gorgeous Agnes Bruckner (Pictured Below). It’s a limited role for her, but she’s as cute as a button. Bruckner is a personal favorite of mine, I usually give her and her huge frontal assets some type of nickname based on the movie, but I won’t this film. It’s kind of weird that the movies she doesn’t have a whole lot of screen time in are actually the better ones she’s been in. T.Gun’s Take:
Murder by Numbers is a pretty decent and solid thriller flick. I thought it could have been a little bit better if the casting of the two villains was done differently. I just flat out didn’t like the two kids they choose, especially Richard (Gosling). I found it a little hard to swallow that Richard was trying to lure in Cassie with his attractiveness.
I just found that little subplot to be a little “off”. I just couldn’t imagine Cassie even being remotely attracted to him. Maybe it’s me, but if I were Cassie, I would be like, “Get away you little creep!” every time Richard attempted his moves on her.
I did like how the film made the audience think who the real mastermind behind the murders really was. Is it Richard or is it Justin? Richard or Justin? I found that aspect of the movie quiet interesting and refreshing.
Overall, Murder by Numbers is an enjoyable movie to watch. I was a little disappointed with it at first, but after seeing countless other pieces of crap out on the market, I realized that it wasn’t half bad.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on April 19, 2002 and made $31.8 million at the Box Office ($9.3 million opening weekend) -Loosely based off the real life murders of Richard Loeb and Nathan Leopold (Leopold and Loeb)
Rachelle Lefevre (Victoria): Dead Awake (2001), Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002), New Moon, Big Wolf on Campus T.V. series
Sarah Clarke (Renee Dwyer): Thirteen, 24 T.V. series
Trailer:
* Twilight is the first movie adaptation of a novel series by author Stephenie Meyer *
Plot:
A junior in high school, Bella Swan, moves from Phoenix to Forks, Washington to live with her dad while her mom and her new “love squeeze” move to Jacksonville to pursue his minor league baseball career. The move is considered temporary for both sides as Bella hopes to rejoin living with her mother back in Arizona.
Bella moves in with her chief of police father, Charlie in Forks, WA. As a present, her father buys her an old beat up pickup truck from one of the local Indian townsmen, and friend of Charlie, Billy Black. Bella loves the truck and drives it to her first day at a new school.
At school Bella becomes the students favorite new “shiny toy” as everyone comes to befriend, love and accept Bella. Personally I’m a little confused about that. On one hand she is hot, so I can see what all the boys around the school are going for.
Then on the other hand, she has a dark and gloomy personality to her. She doesn’t smile or have any fun loving traits…and she’s like that the whole movie, but she continues to be the star of the class.
After Bella learns the scoop on all of her new friends and instantly becomes friends with half the population, she also becomes aware to the school’s odd and privileged click of the town, a family of kids named the Cullen’s.
The Cullen family is made up of several kids that have been adopted by the town’s famous doctor, Mr. Cullen. The family keeps to themselves and doesn’t interact with any of the other kids in school. One of the Cullen kids, Edward, becomes Bella’s secret heart-throb crush. The two are teamed up together as lab partners in Biology which leads to a weird exit from Edward as he bolts out of class without exchanging words with her.
The rest of the movie is a typical “forbidden love” story as we come to realize that Edward is a vampire who’s afraid to get close to Bella. Eventually they hook up and Bella gets accepted by all the other Cullen’s and she starts dating Edward.
After pain and suffering through the love story build up for the first hour and twenty some odd minutes of the film, the movie finally hits an intriguing plot. While out hanging with the Cullen’s (during a family baseball game) a rouge pack of vampires cross paths with Bella and company. I shall call them the Pointy Three since there are three of them and their teeth are pointy. One of the Pointy Three, James, sniffs out that Bella is human and makes it his goal to kill her to spite Edward.
This confrontation is really a false build up in my mind. The Cullen family account for seven dude and dudette vampires (eight if you include Bella) while the Pointy Three is made up of…three pointy teeth vamp’s. The Cullens freak out and rush Bella out of there before James can attack her.
I’m asking myself, “Why?” You have strength in numbers…seven to three and one of the three doesn’t really give a sh*t if she dies anyways. Instead they panic and flee the scene in a hurry. Once back at the Cullen family compound, the big plan is to…divide up and go separate ways. One group tries to lead a false trail away from Bella while the second group escorts her out of town.
Really? Divide up and go separate ways. They obviously had one thing going for them, pure numbers, and now let’s even the odds and go into smaller groups to make it fair. A bunch of brilliant f*ckin’ idiots!
Basically this falsely perceived danger of James killing Bella is the highlight of the film (and the most action packed). The only problem is that it lasts about fifteen minutes before returning to another fifteen minutes of “love story” crap.
Villain:
The true villain of Twilight is the author of all the books, Stephenie Meyer and director of the movie, Cathrine Hardwicke. She manipulates the coolness of the vampire mystique and fools all horror fans by using it as a backdrop to a f*ckin’ love story. For all those expecting some cool vampire action…cover your eyes…it ain’t happening.
While I’m still in the “hate mode”…let’s talk about the vampires in the film. Hmmm…where should I begin? Okay, I know. The main city (Forks) is home to the vampire clan (The Cullen’s) and their “children” attend the local high school.
Vampires in school? How does that work? Don’t vampires sleep during the day? You know to avoid the whole “sun light” thing, because we all know sunlight + vampires = burninflames. Well…not in this version, Stephenie Meyer, depicts her vampires as something a little different.
They live in the town of Forks, WA because it’s mostly overcast, and the sun doesn’t shine a whole lot. Well, I can kind of “buy that”. I’m not 100% sold on that idea, but it’s a stretch. But wait…there’s more! In Twilight vampires can go out in the sunlight, but it the sun poses a problem for them. Burn into flames! No. Sunlight gives them a really, really bad sunburn! Nope. It shows a demon side to them! 0 for 3. What’s the problem then?
The sunlight makes them shine like diamonds.
Huh?
You heard me. The sunlight makes them shine like diamonds.
WTF!!!??
Now I’ve seen a lot of different takes on the legend of the vampire, but I’ve never come across anything close to them glowing like diamonds when exposed in the sunlight. They’re vampires not Glow Worms! Was Meyer smokin’ some dope while listening to Pink Floyd’s ♫ Shine on you crazy diamond ♫ and then had an epiphany about vampires looking that way? Agh! On the sunny days in Forks the vampires just take a “sick day” to avoid the whole shiny thing.
The second all this was explained in the film, I was just pissed. More than pissed…flabbergasted. This trait wasn’t the only thing about vampires that I was banging my head against the wall either. The vampires had a super strength and speed.
Okay, now I’ve seen some cases of a “stronger” than human version of a vampire, but this was beyond that. The vamp’s had super duper strength like Superman, and were fast like in “The Flash” fast. Now this is getting pretty damn hokey.
Okay I’m going to stop on the vampire trait thing here because it’s upsetting me. It has already taken me a week to digest this movie, and now I’m already getting riled back up. Back to the villains…outside of the author, the bad guys in the film is the Pointy Three which is made up of James, Laurent and Victoria.
James is basically a vampire who likes to kill. James and Edward share a brief “who’s cock is bigger than mine” pissing contest moment at the baseball game and James is destined to kill Bella to piss off Edward.
Cast:
Kristen Stewart (Pictured Left) plays the lead role of Bella in Twilight. For the love of God, Kristen…smile. Every movie I’ve seen her in she plays this depressed looking teenager. I found myself during the movie asking the question, “How can she be that popular in school if she was just some pathetic depressed looking chick?” Usually those “types” are the school’s outcasts…the ones that don’t fit in.
Not Twilight. Nooo. She’s the most popular chick in school. All the other kids seemed to flock to her like she was some type of Goddess or something. During all her scenes with her school friends Bella seemed so disinterested when around them. She was always staring out in the open ignoring everything they did or said. If that was my friend, they would drive me nuts. “Hello. Anyone in there?” But somehow everyone seemed to love her.
Stewart’s depressing character was the same way in the movie, The Messengers. Is this how Stewart acts? Is that her trademark or signature acting ability? Does she have some sort of depressed Goth appeal to her? I don’t know, but it seems that way. I’ve seen pictures of her smokin’ the wacky weed on-line, so I know she likes to have a little fun. Maybe she should show a little bit more life on screen more often.
The second main character in the movie is Edward Cullen, played by Robert Pattinson (Pictured Left). Edward was the part of the school’s mysterious family who kept to themselves, yet he was the heart-throb of all the teenage girls in the flick.
He was the “unattainable”…tall, dark and handsome guy in school with those dreamy eyes. Edward was torn between his dark secret and the love of his life. Please. Shoot me. I can’t gag enough to clear the dislike of this character from my throat. It was like seeing Titanic’s Leonardo DiCaprio all over again.
SFX/Gore:
The special effects in Twilight were pretty good for all it’s worth. Even on the ridiculous “super enhanced” powers that the vampires had. I know the blazing fast running in the woods was dumb and hilarious to see, but it wasn’t the special effects fault…just dumb writing.
Twilight didn’t have any cool vampire transformation sequences in it. The vampires were pretty plain in their appearance with the occasional sharp pointy teeth. It was really no big deal. I was hoping for a little more from the vampire look than some kids from all those WB/CW shows walking around with pointy teeth every once and a while.
TNA:
Twilight features a huge cast of hot looking young adults to please the men and women audiences. The women audience knows what they get for eye candy, so I’m not venturing down that road. The male audience is treated to the pot smokin’, hot lookin’, depressed and droopy eyed Kristen Stewart (Pictured Below). Outside of Stewart there were many young teenie boppers to look at for eye candy. There was also a hotness surrounding the Cullen family. Actresses Ashley Greene (Pictured Below), Nikki Reed and Elizabeth Reaser make up the core of the Cullen family. They’re pretty hot themselves. There wasn’t much for the mature audiences to take in. The closest thing to “Second base” pops up during the family baseball game. Other than that, it’s a PG-13 love story.
On a side note, the girl that plays the chick vampire of the Pointy Three (Rachelle Lefevre...pictured right) also starred in a T.V. show called “Big Wolf on Campus” back in the day. Anyone else remember that show? It was pretty cheesy, but it was…Fun-Times!
T.Gun’s Take:
Romeo & Juliet + Titanic + Harry Potter + Underworld (this part will make more sense in the future sequels) = Twilight
Yeah, it’s that simple of a formula. Twilight (and its future sequels) is targeted for the young female book reading audience. It’s no surprise that they were pretty much the only ones who flocked to the theaters to see the movie…with the occasional “dragging the boyfriend along”.
I could probably go on and on about how much I hated this movie…or even the dumb things about it, but I have a few more sequels to wretch out my feelings. Here’s a rundown of my other gripes:
1. Sucking out the vampire virus blood at the end. Pretty weak. 2. The trap that James set up for Bella. Now who didn’t see that coming? 3. The family baseball game. Now that was just stupid. It makes Bud Selig’s “Steroid Era” look tame. 4. Edward’s attraction to Bella (outside of physical)…I can’t read your thoughts. WTF?! 5. Edward stopping the car. Super Edward to the rescue!
If you’re a dude…then skip this whole experience. There is hardly anything cool about these vampires. If you’re a female, then you will probably dig this a little bit.
Misc. Movie Trivia: -Film opened on November 21, 2008 and made $191.4 million at the Box Office ($69.6 million opening weekend) -Largest $ gross debut for a female director -5,000 people auditioned for the role of Edward -Edward's car is a Volvo C30 -Stewart celebrated her 18th birthday on the set -An apple appears on the book cover, in Scandinavian mythology an apple is symbolic for eternal youth and beauty -There are 4 books in the Twilight series (Oh crap, three more sequels)
Shark-factor:What is the shark-factor?Unlike the Matrix, I’ll explain the shark-factor.A while back, I was with my friends watching the Planet of the Apes (1968 version).My friend Bookie commented on how hot the chick in the flick was and pretty much said he’d give his left nut to have her. Then my other friend, Shark, commented, “You know she’s like sixty now!”And that dampened the day.So every time we’ve watched an older movie and mentioned how hot the chick was, Shark came in and ruined the day.So to fairly grade the “hotness” of the chicks in the films, I need grade them based on how they looked year they were made and not how old they would be now.So the shark-factor is to make up for any time-age-difference for the women in the films between present date and time and production date and time.So F*** You Shark!
new version two college kids, Grace and Jim, head off to Lake Havasu from Texas on a road trip during spring break. While traveling on the road during a thunderstorm, they encounter a stranded motorist standing in the middle of the road during the night. Jim (driving) swerves to miss him and stalls the car.
hould just continue driving. Jim hesitantly agrees and the two take off leaving the man standing in the road during a down pour of rain. Jim decides that he will stop off at the next gas station and send help for the man.
Further down the road John eventually catches up with the two and even passes them while riding in the back of a station wagon as a hitchhiker in another couple’s car. Jim and Grace speed up to notify the couple that he’s a crazy man. One thing leads to another and Jim crashes his car leaving them stranded on the highway.
stole the show. Bean was the only good thing that came out of The Hitcher, everyone else just sucked donkey balls. John was a cold hearted psychopath who stalked and terrorized his prey with no apparent motive behind his actions.
gun…really? If I’m a villain I think I would just stop and surrender right then and there because she has a gun. Note: that's sarcasm.
this role. Zachary Knighton (Pictured Left) played the role of Jim and did probably the best he could. Jim’s character didn’t ask for anything cool or special so Knighton didn’t really do anything cool or special in return. It’s probably not Knighton’s fault for playing such a paper thin character, but he didn’t really pony anything up to enhance the character either.
federal agent or something. His character comes across like New Mexico’s poor man version of a Texas Ranger. Under his command he loses close to a dozen officers to Ryder. Not all of them in the same incident either.
middle of the road during a rain storm. They don’t even give a rat’s ass if he needs help or not. He looks creepy, so we should go.
other police cars and a helicopter following them. Our film’s bad guy comes driving up out of nowhere in his Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am and takes out all three cop cars and the helicopter.
hen uses his gun to shoot the guards in the front of the van. Holy crap, this guy is the “sh*t” when it comes to slipping out of danger. He's like Chuck Norris! All these scenes are just examples of how lazy and dumb the writing is for the film.
