Review #74: The Reaping (2007)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Stephen Hopkins (Director): Nightmare on Elm St. 5

Hilary Swank (Katherine): Million Dollar Baby (2004), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), The Next Karade Kid (1994)

AnnaSophia Robb (Loren): Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (2005), Bridge to Terabithia (2007), Jumper (2008)

David Morrisey (Doug): Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Derailed (2005)

Idris Elba (Ben): Prom Night

Stephen Rea (Father Costigan): V for Vendetta (2005), FeardotCom (2002)

Trailer:


Plot:

The (Reeking) Reaping is a film about the ten biblical plagues that place in modern day, small Louisiana hick town called Haven. One day a boy named, Brody McConnell dies in the river and the river turns to red. Not just a little red, but as in 2 miles worth of red. The town blames his sister, Lauren for his death. Lauren had the unfortunate distinction of being the only witness to her brother’s death.

Puzzled by the occurrence of the red river, the town reaches out to the state’s university, LSU, for help. Go Tigers! One of the town’s members, Doug, contacts the university’s anthropologist/biologist, Katherine and her assistant Ben. I’m not really sure what type of professor she is, the film doesn’t specify. Katherine also has some type of religious background from her past, so she becomes the qualified expert for this case. Katherine’s like a mix of Indiana Jones, Tom Hanks from the Divinci Code, Dustin Hoffman from Outbreak and the chick boxer from Million Dollar Baby.

Katherine and Ben arrive in the backwoods Mayberry town of Haven and start their investigation. To make a long story short and save you time from watching the movie, I’ll tell you what happens. After they arrive more biblical plagues happen, cell phones don’t work, Katherine meets the mysterious Lauren, more plagues happen, livestock die, Lauren is a vessel of Satan, she has sex with Doug, more plagues, people die, she discovers the town is a bunch of devil worshipers who tried sacrificing Lauren, more plagues, people die, Ben dies, Katherine realizes the truth, more plagues, Doug dies, and we learn that Lauren is not a vessel of Satan, but actually an angel or messenger from God. The end.

The (Reeking) Reaping offered little to me. The writing was a little poor and the acting wasn't much better. Character development kind of sucked, but I guess they didn’t want to reveal too many things, just to make the ending a little bit more surprising. I was shocked. Wow. Seriously. It just took my breath away. No, it didn’t. I felt like I was watching a movie that combined elements from previous horror movies into one film.

Forty minutes in I came to the realization that Hilary Swank looks a lot like the Vulcan chick from the television show, Enterprise (Jolene Blalock). Kind of have the same boney, manish face. No wonder she was casted for The Next Karade Kid movie. She is more of a man than Daniel-son was.

Father Costigan's character was a waste of time. What was his purpose? It was like a sub plot within that had nothing to do with the sub plot itself. Does that make sense? Probably not, but neither did having the Father C. character. And then he dies in some random unexplained fire. Huh?

Ten Biblical Plagues (Can be found in the book of Exodus)
1. River and water turns to blood. This was the first to happen in the movie. But apparently swamp water doesn't count!

2. Amphibians (frogs). They had a bunch of frogs appear and die in the movie. Since we're on the topic of frogs, the best "frog scene" in a movie has to be E.T. when Elliott is in science class. He "frees" them and then gets on a box and puts a juicy wet one on the blonde chick's lips. Go Elliott. Just a random thought.

3. Gnats (replaced with lice in the movie). I'm not a "big" bible thumper, so I'm not 100% clear on whether or not these events are supposed to take place as they do in the bible, but this plague takes place after #6. The movie mixes the order of a few of the plagues.

4. Wild beasts. Bulls attack a truck. El Matadore.

5. Disease on live stock. Mad cow disease. That's why McDonald's uses kangaroo meat. Also in Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, cows died. But that was the government killing them to make a "quarantined zone" so the aliens could land at Devil's Mountain in Wyoming. Could aliens pop up in this one?

6. Unhealable boils. And people die! At least just the old and fat people in the movie. I wonder if there is a connection to putting hideous boils on hideous fat people?

7. Hail mixed with fire. Another mixed up order plague. Move this to #9 on the list.

8. Locusts. Mixed up order. Move to #7. And by the way, they are KILLER LOCUSTS. Get that straight. They wipe out the town's sheriff's office and other lynching members. Another random thought. I always think of the insect cicada when I think of locusts. Ever since I went to Chicago in the early 90's and they had a bad cicada insect problem that year, I always think of the musician Jon Secada. Is it bad to compare cicada with Secada? I thought about which is better, the lyrics to one of his videos or the video itself. How 'bout both!!? Sing along.

Here's the Lyrics to Jon Secada's multi-platinum hit single, Just Another Day:

♫ Mornings alone ♫
♫ When you come home I breathe a little faster ♫

♫ Every time we’re together ♫
♫ It never be the same if you’re not here ♫
♫ How can you stay away, away so long? ♫
♫ Why can’t we stay together ♫

♫ Just give me a reason, give me a reason ♫
♫ ‘Cause I, I don’t wanna say it ♫
♫ I don’t wanna find another way ♫
♫ Make it through the day without you ♫

♫ I, I, I can’t resist ♫
♫ Trying to find exactly what I miss ♫
♫ It’s just another day without you ♫
♫ It’s just another day ♫

And the video!



Probably not a good idea in the future to ever bring up locusts or cicadas again. Catchy tune, isn't it?

9. Darkness. Move to #8. We love darkness. Darkness means that vampires can come out to play. Werewolves come out also.

10. Death of the first born. For some reason I think of Children of the Corn.

Top 10 other questions that popped in my head during/after the film:

1. Why does director Stephen Hopkins keep getting gigs in Hollywood? Afterall, this is the guy responsible for giving us Nightmare on Elm St. 5: The Dream Child. A complete disaster.

2. How come the cell phones don't work, but the walkie-talkie feature still operates? Shouldn't Verizon or AT&T put a tower somewhere? They could really capitalize on it. Can you hear me now?

3. Is AnnaSophia Robb too young to be considered hot? She's 15. Pictured left.

4. Why didn't Hurricane Katrina wipe out the set and destroy the footage preventing this bad boy from being made?

5. Why can't I get that Jon Secada song out of my head?

6. Where's the little kid named Damien that's in all the religious movies?

7. Why is that dude wearing a girl's tank top?

8. Why are all these horror movies taking place in Louisiana?

9. Why did this film only make $25.1 million?

10. How come they always kill the cool black guy?

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on April 5, 2007 and made $25.1 million at the Box Office
-Film's release was pushed back 4 times
-Filming was interrupted by Hurrican Katrina