Review #147: April Fool's Day (2008)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Mitchell Altieri & Phil Flores (Directors): The Hamiltons (2006)

Scout Taylor-Compton (Torrance): Halloween

Taylor Cole (Desiree): Loaded (2008), 12 Rounds (2009), Heroes T.V. series

Josh Henderson (Blaine): The Girl Next Door (2004), Desperate Houswives T.V. Series

Joe Egender (Ryan): The Hamiltons

Jennifer Siebel Newsom (Barbie): Dinocroc (2004), Rent (2005), Life T.V. series

Samuel Child (Peter): The Hamiltons

Joseph McKelheer (Charles): The Hamiltons

Sabrina Aldrige (Milan): Deck the Halls (2006)

Trailer:

Plot:

In this remake, the film starts off with two rich siblings (Desiree and Blaine) throwing a party for a friend. Desiree is hosting a “debut party” in honor of her friend Torrance. Don’t ask me what a “debut party” is, I’m just as confused. All I know is that it involves the rich snobby class that I probably will never be a part of.

Desiree’s rich and elite friends attend this “debut party” at her mansion, including one of her rival rich snobs, Milan. Mortal enemies…damn rich folk. “Ah. You spent $50K more on your hairstyle than I did. You b*tch!”

That’s not what happened… it’s just me talking out loud. But… ”Oh my god, my 07’ Mercedes is such an eye sore!”…that’s actually an argument in the film. F*ckin’ rich people! Here's a picture of a 2007 Mercedes. Does that look like an "eye sore" to you? The only way it hurts my eyes is because I don't have one. Once again...f*ckin' rich people!

Desiree plays a prank on Milan by drugging her drink (with a roofie) and has her brother Blaine attempt to sleep with her. Unknown to Milan, Desiree and Charles (another rich dweeb) is secretly videotaping the sexual encounter with hopes to post the video on the internet so Desiree can laugh at her.

I gotta say that’s one hell of a prank. Let’s drug a girl so your brother can have sex with her, video tape it and post it on youtube. I’m a little behind on my criminal law, but I think that’s called…rape. I don’t know. I’m a little fuzzy on the subject, but I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called.

During the prank, several of Desiree’s friends barge in and Milan becomes somewhat aware of what’s going on. Still feeling a little drugged and clumsy, Milan has some sort of reaction (or seizure) to the roofie and stumbles out of the room and accidentally falls over a balcony railing to her death. Score one for the rich!


One year later, an unknown killer has targeted the ones present at Milan’s death. The twisted killer hunts them down one by one. I wonder if the killer leaves a note stating: “I Know What You Did Last April Fool’s Day!” Because it’s sounding a lot like a blend of I Know What You Did Last Summer and the original April Fool’s Day. Oh wait, my bad...they all get an invitation to attend Milan’s burial site. So it does sound like IKWYDLS. Just look at the cover...it looks like IKWYDLS!

Villain:

Because AFD is a “who dunnit?” film, I’m not going to name the killer, but I’ll just say that the killer has more money than you or me. The true villain(s) of the film are the directors, The Butcher Brothers. Really? This is the best you can do? You remake a great cult horror film with this teenie bopper, rich and famous pile of crap?

Cast:

Robin Leach should pile this cast into one his yachts and sail it straight into an ice berg, crashing it and letting them to fall into the sub below temperature waters and freeze to death or get eaten by a shark…with the exception of one…Taylor Scout Compton. That’s how painfully awful the cast was.

Taylor Scout-Compton on the other hand…she’s HOT! Okay her performance as Torrance wasn’t the best in this film, but I don’t care…she’s awesome. “I would ____ her.” Insert whatever you want here. Bang, marry…whatever as long as I’m part of that phrase, it is all good. Well, maybe not “any” word, but you know what I mean.

The other lead female in the film, Desiree (played by Taylor Cole) plays a stuck-up, rich b*tch snob. Her acting was a little cardboard-ish, but she pulled off playing a b*tch pretty well. If you haven’t seen Taylor Cole (pictured left), she kind of looks a lot like Megan Fox, Charisma Carpenter and Tiffany Amber-Theisen. Man, I’ve hyphenated a lot of names so far. That kind of sucks.

SFX/Gore:

As far as deaths in the film, they treat us to a hot chick falling off a balcony to her death (poor girl). Also we have some less than thrilling deaths such as someone drowning, a cheesy electroction, being hit by a car, and a good ole' fashion throat slashing. The biggest surprise was a gun shot death.

TNA:

Unlike the first film, the screen is filled up with a lot of eye candy. Most of them are bad acting eye candy, but regardless, they’re eye candy. AFD does show us a glimpse at a Miss “Whatever” Pageant and gives us great sleazy outfits rich girls wear.

Without any nudity, and a whole bunch of underdressed females, AFD is another cock tease for the boys. For the ladies…you get a bunch of young twenty some old actors wearing fancy clothes, and a couple “shirt-off” scenes. But I’m a man, so my main concern is on the females…so for the guys…I’ll give you a present and you can just stare at the beautiful Taylor Scout-Compton (pictured below). She has a gorgeous smile. Doesn’t she?

T.Gun’s Take:

I loved the original AFD. I thought that it was a clever film with some balls. So when I heard that someone was remaking it, I got a little excited. Time passed and it finally came out…on DVD. My initial thought…hmm…something’s wrong here. But not every straight to DVD film sucks. Unfortunately I was wrong. It did suck. I watched the remake and to sum it up…I was disappointed with the film.

Why didn’t I like it? Well, I just couldn’t buy into the back drop of the film. It was the characters, the whole elite society thing. I’m glad when remakes aren’t the exact “copy/paste” of the originals, but I hated the rich snob element so much that I just could bare this one. How can anyone relate to the characters or mindset of them? It was painful to watch a bunch of bad acting rich snobs. F*ckin' rich people!

The storyline of the film was pretty clever including the ending, but the character development was horrible. I just thought that the film makers could (SHOULD) have done a better job with this thing. I guess this is where the whole thing got bumped and moved to “straight to DVD” instead of a theatrical release.

AFD featured little suspense and a whole lot of bad acting. AFD did supply a few AFD jokes, but overall I wasn’t impressed with the film. My advice, watch the original and avoid the remake.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on March 25, 2008 and went straight to DVD
-The directors go by the combined named of “The Butcher Brothers”
-Scout Taylor-Compton's father was a mortician
-Filmed in North Carolina

New H2 Trailer!

Here's the first trailer for Rob Zombie's sequel to Halloween:


H2 is due out August 28, 2009 (the same weekend of Final Destination 4).

Review #146: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Danny Cannon (Director): Judge Dredd (1995), Goal! (2005)

Jennifer Love Hewitt (Julie James): IKWYDLS

Freddie Prinze Jr. (Ray Bronson): IKWYDLS

Brandy Norwood (Karla): Arachnophobia (1990), Moesha T.V. series; musician “Brandy”

Mekhi Phifer (Tyrell): Dawn of the Dead

Muse Watson (Ben Willis): IKWYDLS

Bill Cobbs (Estes): Trading Places (1983), The Cotton Club (1984), The Color of Money (1986), New Jack City (1991), The Bodyguard (1992), Ghosts of Mississippi (1996), Night at the Museum (2006)

Matthew Settle (Will Benson): U-571 (2000), Band of Brothers and Gossip Girl T.V. Series

Jeffrey Combs (Mr. Brooks): Re-Animator series, Guyver (1991), Trancers 2 (1991), House on Haunted Hill 1 (1999) & 2 (2007), FeardotCom (2002)

Jennifer Esposito (Nancy): Summer of Sam (1999), Dracula (2000), Don’t Say a Word (2001), Crash (2004), Samantha Who? & Spin City T.V. series

I.K.W.Y.D.L.S. Link

(The first movie)

Trailer:



Plot:

One year following the events of the first movie (that’s two years since hitting the dude) Julie James still is having trouble dealing with the events. Who could blame her? It’s not every day that you hit a psychotic fisherman and then tosses him into the ocean only to have him seek out revenge on you and all your friends.

Julie has been attending (and failing) summer school at college. She has been haunted by nightmares of Ben Willis, the revenge seeking and fish-hook swinging maniac. All of a sudden it is the Fourth of July weekend (the anniversary of all the events), and her roommate, Karla, has won an all-expenses-paid vacation for four to the Bahamas by answering a trivia question from a radio contest.

The winning question from the contest was: “Name the capital of Brazil.” Karla answers, “Rio de Janeiro” and wins a trip for four. Unfortunately, little does she know that she has answered the question wrong…Brasilia is actually the capital of Brazil. Something fishy is going on here.

Karla invites her boyfriend, Tyrell and…of course…Julie to go with her to the Bahamas. It’s up to Julie to invite the fourth person to go with them. Julie offers the last invite to Ray (her surviving boyfriend from the last movie), but he is angry with her and turns down the invite. So what’s the little vixen gonna do? Invite one of her guy “friends” (Will) from college to go with. Tramp! Whore!

The four head on down to the islands for their weekend getaway. Once they arrive and check into the fabulous Bahamas island resort, they learn that everything is not what it appears, and they have fallen prey to a bum radio contest. The resort is entering their “storm season” …a.ka. hurricane season…and everyone has packed up and left for the summer only leaving behind a handful of staff.

Trying to keep their spirits up, the four look at the situation as an opportunity to have the resort to themselves. Julie starts witnessing bizarre things and has trouble differencing them between her and her dreams. The resort staff slowly disappears one by one, leaving Julie and company trapped alone on the island in the middle of a hurricane along with a murderous fisherman named Ben Willis.

Meanwhile, Ray regretting turning down the invite to the island decides to head down any way with a buddy. Along the way, Ray falls prey to a roadside trap laid down by Ben Willis that leaves him hospitalized and his buddy dead. Ray flees the hospital and tries to make his way down to the Bahamas to warn Julie and friends before its too late.

Villain:

Returning for a second go-around at Julie is Ben Willis. Ben supports his favorite costume, a long dark blue fisherman’s rain slicker with a hood and a pair of black boots. Ben had his right hand lopped off at the end of the last film, so now in place of his severed right hand he supports a mean ole’ fisherman’s hook. Think of it being like Captain Hook. To my delight, he uses that hook to dispense many victims.

This franchise has tried to make its success on the “who dunnit” guess the killer twist and this film’s no different. We know who the main killer is, even though the film throws in twists and turns to conceal his identity, but we are also treated to a second killer.

* Spoiler * Highlight to Read * The second killer is Will Benson, Julie’s “guy” friend. See what you get for inviting someone other than your boyfriend! There’s even clues in his name like…Ben-son as in Ben’s son…as in Ben Willis’s son. Will as in Willis. If you need me to spell this out any more than you’re an idiot. * End spoiler.

Cast:

Jennifer Love HugeTits returns to play the role of the emotionally tormented Julie James. If you’ve seen the first movie…then it’s the same damn repeat performance in this one. “Oh. I can’t keep the secret to myself anymore. It’s tearing me up inside. I’m just falling apart emotionally and physically. I’m so troubled, feel sorry for me. Boo hoo.”

Very little has changed from one performance to the next. On the bright side, Jay-Love does wear nice bikini outfits. On the not-so bright side, but we love to make fun of this scene in other movies…Julie does that damn walk out into the open, spin around with her arms wide open and call out the killer scene again. “If you want me…come and get me!”

Freddie Prinze Jr. returns as Ray. Yippee. At least he took a “backseat” in this film (a.k.a = less screen time). That’s good, because I hate this dweeb. Ever since this douche bag stole my girl (Buffy) and made me and my friends see his sh*tty movie, Wing Commander (because it showed the trailer for SW: Episode I before it), I haven’t been a fan of Freddie.

Other key cast members include R&B musician, Brandy (Pictured left). She plays the role of Karla, Jay-Love’s roommate. Mekhi Phifer plays Tyrell her boyfriend and Re-Animator star, Jeffrey Combs plays a bit part as Mr. Brooks the hotel clerk. Even Jack Black made his way into the film as the island’s Mary-Jay-Wana expert.

SFX/Gore:

Just like a good sequel should do, STILL KNOWS ups the antee in body count. There are ten deaths in the film which is a great improvement over the disappointing five deaths from the first film. Double the pleasure, double the fun…right? Ben’s fishhook hand supplies most of the carnage.

My favorite death in the film is * Highlight to Read * Tyrell’s death. The group has learned of the killer and has taken refuge in the resorts kitchen, and Tyrell sits on the counter ranting on how bad his weekend has been when Ben Willis drops down from the ceiling and strikes his fish hook into the back of Tyrell’s head and out to the front of his throat. It was pretty cool because it was unexpected. I like it when the film does stuff like that. Right when you least expect it…someone bites it. *End.

TNA:

Don’t rent I STILL KNOW if you’re expecting to see a lot of TNA action. The audience is treated to a lot of stimulating eye candy in the forms of Jennifer Love HugeTits, Brandy and Jennifer Esposito. Since it’s an island resort, we are treated to seeing the duo of Brandy and Love HugeTits walking around in skimpy bikinis. Needless to say we get a couple of great looking tummy shots. Nice. Jay-Love pictured below...isn't she absolutely gorgeous?

As for the ladies you are treated to the looks of Freddie Prinze Jr., Mekhi Phifer, Matthew Settle and Jack Black (Pictured right). Well maybe not the last one, but you get to see a shirtless Mekhi Phifer in a Jacuzzi.

T.Gun’s Take:

Hell the first movie made $72 plus million in theaters across the U.S. alone, so why wouldn’t you want to follow that film up with a sequel? Just over a year later, our thoughts and prayers were answered…well not really, I’m still waiting for a three-some with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sarah Michelle Gellar…the series second movie hit the big screen.

This time it’s called, “I STILL Know What You Did Last Summer”. Oooh…STILL, very bold…very brave…very clever. Putting sarcasm aside STILL splashed onto the screens and made a decent chunk of change (~$40 million) and can be considered a successful film.

I STILL KNOW is pretty formulaic in just about every aspect of the film. It offers hardly anything new to the series and is nothing more than just a slaughterfest of the first film in a different setting. Even the twist at the end isn’t really a big deal or a “jaw dropper”. By this time (late 90’s) all these teenie bopper films have been throwing films with some type of twist at the end.

I STILL KNOW is a sequel that takes the death toll higher (which it should anyways) and is basically just another typical slasher film with characters we’ve seen before. With all that said, I can’t really bash the film all that much because what I just wrote is 90% of the horror films I like. I’d be a hypocrite if I singled out this film. I just leave it at that.

One thing that I will point out about the flick is that it has a Karaoke machine sing-along moment in it. Jay-Love gets up on the stage and guess what song she pounds out? The song all movies think they’re clever using…Gloria Gaynor’s ♫ “I Will Survive” ♫. Upon thinking about it, was this one of the first movies to make this song popular at karaoke bars? It can’t be…can it? Most of the other movies I’ve seen that’s tried this trick came out afterwards.

If you want to see a mindless slasher movie with good production quality, then this might be a good waste of time for you to check out. It’s not as good as the first movie, but it still is worthy enough to waste a good ninety minutes. It may even be a good “date” flick with a girl who has little appetite for horror movies. But you’d probably want to check out the first flick beforehand.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on November 13, 1998 and made $39.9 million at the Box Office ($16.5 opening weekend)
-The capital of Brazil is Brasilia; Rio de Janeiro was the capital from 1763 to 1960, but the capital was changed
-Jack Black has an uncredited role as Titus Telesco (the pot smokin’ and dealin’ dude in the Hawaiian shirt)
-Film was shot at El Tecuan Mariana Resort Costalagree in Jalisco, Mexico
-Magic 96.7 is the radio station’s call sign that Karla wins the trip from

Review #145: Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Zack Snyder (Director): 300 (2006), The Watchmen (2009)

Sarah Polley (Ana): Go (1999)

Ving Rhames (Kenneth): Day of the Dead

Jake Weber (Michael): The Cell (2000), U-571 (2000), Medium T.V. series

Mekhi Phifer (Andre): I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Shaft (2000), 8 Mile (2002)

Ty Burrell (Steve): Evolution (2001), National Treasure 2 (2007), Incredible Hulk (2008)

Kevin Zegers (Terry): Wrong Turn

Lindy Booth (Nicole): Wrong Turn

Boyd Banks (Tucker): Jason X

Michael Kelly (CJ): Man on the Moon (1999), Unbreakable (2000), Invincible (2006)

Kim Poirer (Monica): American Psycho 2 (2002), Decoys 1 (2004) & 2 (2007)

Justin Louis (Luis): Saw 4

Matt Frewer (Frank): Supergirl (1984), Spies Like Us (1985), Max Headroom (1985), Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989), Lawnmowerman 2 (1996), The Watchmen (2009)

Jayne Eastwood (Norma): The Santa Clause (1994), My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002), Chicago (2002), Hairspray (2007)

Tom Savini (The County Sheriff)

Trailer:


Plot:

Director Zack Snyder gives us a new take on George Romero’s cult classic Dawn of the Dead. This new version takes place in modern day Wisconsin. A global epidemic happens around the world as the dead come back to life and attack the living; thus turning them into the walking dead also. A group of survivors in Milwaukee take refuge in a local shopping mall.

The survivors barricade themselves in the mall as they wait for help from the government or whoever else is out there. Catastrophic reports flow in from news casts and day by day zombies flock to the outside of the mall pounding on the doors to get in and feed on some human flesh.

Pretty soon the survivors realize that no one is coming to help them, and they decide on their course of action. Initially they hold up in the mall believing that they are okay, but as supplies run low and cabin fever sets in, the group decides they need to leave the mall and try to find a new home.

Villain:

The Dawn remake features the fast moving zombies as the film’s main villain. The move to switch from Romero’s classic slow moving zombies to the rabid super charged cheetah speed zombies that 28 Days Later featured two years earlier was a bold move. Initially I was skeptical about the move, but as it turns out in the end…it turned out fabulous!

The change in the look of the zombies was a brilliant move. It was the first indication that the movie wasn’t going to be a “cut and paste” of the original. That’s good, because I wasn’t a big fan of remakes at the time anyway. I didn’t want a cheap generic rip off of the original, which at the time, the original was held up to a great standard in my book.

Back to the zombies…okay, they’re fast moving. So what’s the big deal? I like to just think of them as wild animals who want to feed on flesh. It’s called primal instinct. I know that I’ve referred to them as super zombies, but they’re nothing genetically enhanced. They don’t fly or knock down walls, they just move fast with a purpose…to feed.

Cast:

Honestly I never thought I would like a cast in a zombie movie better than I did in the original Dawn, but I was wrong…again. The original Dawn featured four main characters for the whole movie the remake has a whole bunch of colorful characters that made the remake that much better. I’ve debated this amongst myself for years, but the remake’s cast has surpassed the originals.

Despite the overall dark theme of the movie, the cast of Dawn of the Dead showed the audience light. The cast worked well together there was members you wanted to hate and members that you rooted for. Snyder did an excellent job in casting and portraying these individuals.

Leading the cast is Sarah Polley who portrays Ana, a hard working area nurse. The film starts off following the everyday life of Ana as she comes home after working a long shift at the local hospital. The initial outbreak hits the next morning leaving her to narrowly escaping her zombie turned hubby. After series of events which puts Ana through an emotional rollercoaster at the beginning of the film leading up to the point where she meets up with Kenneth and the rest of the group.

Ana displays the typical qualities you would expect from a nurse, caring about other humans, good decision making and being smart. She quickly becomes one of the group’s leaders and somewhat becomes a tough chick bad *ss in the end…but not in the “I’m the ultimate warrior all of the sudden” way. The film is good at making Ana tough, but staying within respectable boundaries of what typical everyday humans can do.

Kenneth (Ving Rhames) is a local Milwaukee police force sergeant who was on duty
during the outbreak. To say the least, he was already packing some firepower to help him fence off some zombies. Kenneth plays a “cool cat” as he remains quiet and reserve for the majority of the film. He is just the total bad *ss of anything he touches, from Pulp Fiction to whatever, Ving Rhames is just the poster child of being a super cool dude. Kenneth is the remake’s equivalent to Peter from the original.
Kenneth initially wants nothing to do with the group held up in the mall. He has a brother in the service and believes he’s at a military stronghold named Fort Pastor. Kenneth wants to abandon the group and head for Fort Pastor to be with his brother.
Unfortunately Kenneth realizes over time that with all the zombies crawling and roaming around the streets, that getting to Fort Pastor is going to be impossible.

After realizing his hopes of seeing his brother again has gone down the drain, Kenneth forms a unique friendship with Andy (a gun shop owner trapped on his roof across the street) and takes on a more serious approach with the rest of the group.

Michael is the remake’s version of Roger, but cooler. Michael is the typical “Average Joe” anyone can relate to. He has a calm outlook at things and is wise in making decisions. He has that touch of vulnerability and past of being “burned by women” to him which makes his eventual relationship with Ana heartwarming. Jake Weber (Pictured right) plays Michael.

CJ is the mall’s lead security guard. He’s in command of a few other security guards when the group shows up at the mall. At first he is reluctant in letting the group take refuge with them, but eventually lets them in. He is out to protect numero uno, and doesn’t care for any outsiders in fear of letting the “wrong ones” into the mall. CJ’s character starts off the film by being a prick, but after time in some lock down, he comes around and is one of the film’s heroes.

Steve is the group’s dick head who everyone knows is eventually gonna “get his” in the end. Steve comes from a background of money and has little interest in helping anyone but himself. He is emotionally weaker than most in the group and a coward when it comes to facing danger. Every horror film needs this character and Steve was Dawns.

Mekhi Phifer’s character, Andre, was quiet the surprise for me. Leading up to the film, he was headlined as one of the cast’s top actors. Going into the theater I had totally different expectations out of his character. I thought he would be some super cool dude that would kick some serious *ss. Instead his character came out as a self-centered, idiot you wanted to die. In the end, I was cool with that.

SFX/Gore:

Another category which the remake has a leg up on the original is in the film’s special effects. Of course the remake has the benefit of being treated to state of the art special effects due to the technology around. Let’s be frank, special effects in the late 70’s come nowhere close to the sh*t we do now a days.

It was awesome seeing zombies get their heads blown off with bullets properly. Now that sounds pretty demented doesn’t it? But my point being, it’s great seeing special effects on the slaughtering of zombies look realistic like it should have.

The group does share their own A-team moment down in the mall’s garage as they “reinforce” some parking shuttles into a pair of pretty bad *ss vehicles. It’s probably the inspiration for Land of the Dead’s Dead Reckoning, not as cool or bad *ss looking, but a worthy idea. Once again, I like to say that’s the type of sh*t that needs to be done in a zombie apocalypse.

TNA:

Dawn’s remake goes 4 for 4 by capturing this category over the original. Let’s cut to the chase here. Original had one…decent looking chick, while the remake has…1…2…3…4 smokin’ hot chicks. Lindy Booth (Pictured Left) and Kim Poirier go head to head for the film’s top hottie. It’s a close tie, depending on whether you like blondes or reds.

The interesting part of the film is how Sarah Polley evolves into a super hottie by the end. My friends and I refer to this as the Polley Effect. She starts off the film by looking like: a 6 out of 10 on the scale of hotness. The film progressively continues on and by the end of the film you’re staring at her like she’s a 8 or 9. Wow. It’s a film where a chick gets hotter as the film goes longer. Puzzling…but nice. Sarah pictured below.

T.Gun’s Take:

The Dawn of the Dead’s remake is hands down one of my favorite horror movies of the past twenty years. I thought the original could never be topped, but I was wrong. Snyder delivered a homerun.

I admit there was a lot of excitement when the film first came out, but even I didn’t think that it would surpass the original in superiority. I was just hoping that it would be something worthwhile, decent and possibly a fun ride. Basically I hoped to get my money’s worth. The TCM remake had just started the new wave, and at the time, I was less than impressed. So I made a pact to myself with a set of expectations of this film…just give me something fun to watch.

I left the movie theater in astonishment. It was better than the original! It was new and improved. Dawn’s remake was slick and sleek. This is how you remake a classic movie…or any movie…if it had to be remade.

The remake is better than the original in my opinion, but by a slight margin. I didn’t think it would be possible, but Snyder managed to make it better. The film’s pace was awesome it reminded me of Empire Strikes Back. A lot of action off the bat, and then some time to take a breather, followed by an action packed ending.

Snyder also took a page out of Romero’s book and made the characters in the film likable. Instead of typical horror movie casting of disposable, “insert type” of characters, Dawn had a strong cast of characters who the audience could relate to and bond with. There were a lot of key emotional moments in the film that made this film that much stronger.

If there were anything that struck me the wrong way it would be two scenes. The first was when the group first got in the mall and was checking it out. Andre was wandering the halls and came across an exit. A zombie came running up and smashed into the window without breaking it. Andre remarked, “Shatter-proof glass.” That irked me a little bit. Really, he’s a window expert? That is kind of cheap and generic to explain something important in the film. It’s totally minor in the grand scheme of things.

The second thing isn’t a knock on the film, but more of a…I can’t believe they went there. For anyone who has seen the film, they might agree with me. It was the zombie baby plot line. It was kind of unnecessary but on the other hand, it was very bold and they handled it in the classy way you could. It took a HUGE pair of brass balls to present that past the studio exec.’s. I wasn’t completely against the idea…I just thought it might have been an unnecessary road to travel down.

Those two story points didn’t set with me real well, but they both are relatively insignificant in my view of the whole movie. I just wanted to mention them because I feel that they are the only two reasons that kept this movie from being perfect. It’s close to perfection, but not all of the way there.

Overall, this remake is a great film to see if you are any type of horror movie fan. Even if you’re not, it’s still a fun, action-packed ride to witness. Bravo! Well done Mr. Snyder! Congratulations to giving us dignity with a remake of a classic film.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on March 19, 2004 and made $59 million at the box office ($26.7 opening weekend)
-Ended the Passion of Christ consecutive weeks at #1
-James Gunn (Slither director) wrote the screen play
-Matt Frewer (Frank) starred in the 80's sensation, "Max Headroom"
-Filmed at Thornhill Square Shopping Centre in Thornhill, Ontario
-The word “zombie” is never used in the film
-Was the 1st movie ever to broadcast the first 10 minutes uncut on network television five days before its nationwide release (USA Network) – And I saw it!

Horror Icons #14

Tom Savini

Born: November 3, 1946
- The film, "Man of a Thousand Faces" inspired him to be a SFX guy
- Special Effects/Make-up artist that specializes in blood and gore
- Has ability to work with out preparations on his effects

Actor Films:
Dawn of the Dead (1978)...Blades
Maniac (1980)...Disco Boy
Creepshow (1982)...Garbage Man #2
Creepshow 2 (1987)...The Creep (Prologue)
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)...Sex Machine
Children of the Living Dead (2001)...Deputy Hughs
Ted Bundy (2002)...SLC Detective
Dawn of the Dead (2004)...The County Sheriff
Land of the Dead (2005)...Machete Zombie
Forest of the Dammed (2005)...Stephen
Planet Terror (2007)...Deputy Tolo
Lost Boys 2: The Tribe (2008)...David Van Etten
Zack and Miri Make Porn (2008)...Jenkins
His Name Was Jason (2009)...Himself

Director
Night of the Living Dead (1990)

SFX/Make-up Artist
Dead of the Night (1974)...Both
Martin (1977)...Both
Dawn of the Dead (1978)...Make-up
Friday the 13th (1980)...Make-up
Maniac (1980)...Make-up
The Prowler (1981)...Both
The Burning (1981)...Make-up
Nightmare (1981)...SFX
Eyes of a Stranger (1981)...Make-up
Creepshow (1982)...Make-up
Midnight (1982)...SFX
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)...Both
Day of the Dead (1985)...Make-up
Invasion U.S.A. (1985)...Make-up
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)...Make-up
Creepshow 2 (1987)...SFX
Monkey Shines (1988)...Make-up
Red Scorpion (1989)...SFX
Necronomican (1993)...Both
Ted Bundy (2002)...Make-up

Review #144: Land of the Dead (2005)

Cast/Notable Credits:
George Romero (Director)

Simon Baker (Riley): Red Planet (2000), The Ring 2 (2005)

John Leguizamo (Cholo): The Happening

Dennis Hopper (Kaufman): Speed (1994), TCM 2

Asia Argento (Slack): xXx (2002), Mother of Tears (2007)

Robert Joy (Charlie): The Hills Have Eyes

Eugene Clark (Big Daddy): Stir of Echoes 2 (2007)

Joanne Boland (Pretty Boy): Saw 4

Tony Nappo (Foxy): Saw 2, Saw 4

Jennifer Baxter (Softball Girl w/ #9): Frequency (2000), Dark Water (2005)

Shawn Roberts (Mike): Skinwalkers

Boyd Banks (Butcher Zombie): Jason X

Tom Savini (Machette Zombie)

Pedro Miguel Arce (Pillsbury): Are We Done Yet? (2007), Stepbrothers (2008)

Trailer:


Tagline:
“The Dead shall inherit the Earth”

Plot:

Some time ago, a zombie apocalypse had destroyed much of the human race. The dead greatly outnumber the living. The remaining survivors have barricaded themselves in the city of Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is surrounded by a river on three of its sides which provides protection for zombie attacks. On the remaining side, fences (including electric) and gates have been installed to provide safety from that direction.

One of the survivors, Paul Kaufman, has built up the city in many ways. Kaufman was the architect behind the construction of the fences and even financed and trained his own army for the city’s protection. Kaufman created a government like system which allows him to rule the city through his built up wealth.

Trenched in power and “calling all the shots”, Kaufman (pictured right) had created his own society which ultimately divided the people into the rich and poor. The rich and powerful live in the center of the city in a large skyscraper named Fiddler’s Green. Fiddler’s Green has been equipped with all the luxuries in life. Only a select few are allowed to live in Fiddler’s Green.

The poor…live on the streets in poverty surviving on the “hand me down” leftovers from the wealthy. Most of them turn to gambling and prostitution as ways to survive and pass time. Sounds a lot like Vegas, doesn’t it?

Kaufman has employed two types of military branches; one of them provides protection in the city. The second unit is comprised of mercenaries that ran sack towns outside of Pittsburgh for supplies and dump the garbage from Pittsburgh. The group that scavenges through towns for supplies have the luxury of having a heavily armored vehicle named Dead Reckoning.

Dead Reckoning was financed by Kaufman and designed by Riley Denbo who also operates as the vehicles commander. With Dead Reckoning at his disposal, Riley heads up a strike force that can easily venture out in the world of zombies and travel through cities looking for food, medical supplies and other supplies for the inhabitants that live in Pittsburgh.

The zombies that roam the Earth have basically brought back aspects from their previous lives. They harmlessly wander the streets carrying items from their past…cheerleader holds pom poms, butcher carries a knife, band members attempting to play their instruments, etc. etc. They almost are at the primitive level of reasoning and comprehension.

During a mission into one of the surrounding cities, Riley and company upset a local civilization of zombies by stealing their stuff and killing some of them. The apparent leader of the zombies and former gas station attendant, named Big Daddy, effectively communicates with his fellow zombie citizens through a series of moans and groans to lead them on a quest to Pittsburgh in efforts to carry out revenge on the survivors.

Kaufman eventually pisses off the wrong person (Cholo DeMora) and Dead Reckoning is stolen from him. Cholo escapes the city and points a Dead Reckoning’s missile at Fiddler’s Green to threaten Kaufman. Kaufman in turn employs Riley to hunt down Cholo before a midnight deadline.

Mix in some good ole’ fashion American greedy back stabbing along with a revolt of social class and top it off with some revenge seeking zombies, we get Romero’s fourth installment of zombie apocalypse called Land of the Dead.

Villain:

Slow moving, and slow thinking zombies (short bus zombies?) star as the villains in Land of the Dead. Continuing along the story lines from Day of the Dead, Land takes the notion of zombies re-establishing thinking fundamentals to a new level.

In Day we had Bub picking up things and primitively knowing how to use them. In Land the zombies effectively have evolved and now are able to use some of the tools given to them for destruction. The zombies somehow have developed a way to communicate through moans and groans.

The leader of the zombies is Big Daddy (played by Eugene Clark...pictured left). Big Daddy is a big ole’ pissed off black guy who just wanted to be left alone pretending to work the gas pumps at his service station. Then the surviving humans came along and stole some sh*t and killed some of his zombie customers. The end result forced Big Daddy to go on a revenge tour with some friends.

Cast:

The featured cast is headlined by three characters, Riley, Kaufman and Cholo DeMora. Riley is played by Simon Baker and is the down to Earth “Robin Hood” of the survivors. Riley is commander of the strike force that searches rural towns for supplies. He is respected by the rich and poor because he does the missions for the benefit of the race, not for the greed that can accompany it.

Riley has worked for Kaufman for years and has saved up enough money to purchase his own car and drive north away from everything. Kaufman doesn’t like the idea of Riley “retiring” so Riley’s car has mysteriously disappeared leaving him trapped in the city with everyone else.

Kaufman (played by Dennis Hopper) is the greedy, sleazy, a-hole in charge of the whole operation. He essentially is the Godfather using the mob to carry out his needs. Kaufman’s character is the example of how power and money corrupts an individual.

John Leguizamo (pictured left) plays Cholo DeMora, the second in command of the Dead Reckoning squad. Cholo has become greedy on his strike missions by stealing “higher end” goods such as alcohol and cigars to sell them back to Kaufman and others. Cholo had become Kaufman’s go to guy when asked to “take out the garbage” on Kaufman’s enemies.

Cholo has mistakenly envisioned himself as living as one of the elites in Fiddler’s Green. Once Kaufman dismisses his dream and orders him dead, Cholo steals Dead Reckoning and holds Kaufman and the city at ransom.

Rounding out the cast are other key members, Slack (Asia Argento) and Charlie (Robert Joy). Riley saved Charlie from a fire and the two have become best friends. During the fire, Charlie was deformed leaving him with one good eye to see out of. Charlie’s a good shot with the gun and a little “slow” with the words, but overall he is a likable character.

Slack was a hooker that ruffled the wrong feathers. She was captured and thrown into a zombie cage match so the locals could gamble on the winner. Before the zombies could eat her, Riley saved her and ultimately “clinged” onto Riley’s side.

SFX/Gore:

Land of the Dead is Romero’s first zombie film to benefit from modern day special effects. Not everything was CGI; in fact Romero didn’t want to use a whole lot and stayed true to the old fashion effects. Modern technology was used to produce a few things and give the film a nice polish to it.

The zombies in the film were once again top notch looking in their make-up. There were a “few” gallons of blood used in the film, but it wasn’t as dramatic as many of his past movies. Romero stayed within the boundaries of killing people (and zombies ripping apart bodies). I do have to say that there was one fake looking thing in the movie. I’m sure if you see the film, you’ll catch it. Hint: it had something to do with a body and grenade explosion.

The best part about the special effects in the film happened to be the vehicle Dead Reckoning. Dead Reckoning is bad *ss! Dead Reckoning is the product of something the A-team would have made if given a RV, metal, blow torches and a lot of military weapons. It’s pretty damn cool looking. Dead Reckoning is armed with heavy remote-controlled machine guns, rocket launchers and video cameras.

I considered calling Dead Reckoning a character, because it stole the show in my books. If there were a zombie apocalypse, Dead Reckoning is a vehicle that you would want to seriously want to think about constructing…or something along the lines of it. I thought that Romero could have used Dead Reckoning a little bit more, but that’s probably just me. I could…would…watch a movie that just featured Dead Reckoning f*ckin’ up and killin’ zombies.

TNA:

Because Land of the Dead portrayed its surviving city as a slum and “Sin City” we got a little taste of some seedier lifestyles…prostitution. Of course that led to a gratuitous tit shot or two. Yeah!

Center piecing the eye candy of the film was Asia Argento (pictured below). Argento wore some less than appropriate Sunday church clothing but there’s nothing wrong with women wearing fish-net stockings and boots. I’m cool with that. Argento also parades around in the film with some skimpy clothing and shows a lot of her tattoos and skin.

On a trivial side of things…did you know that Asia is the daughter of Dario Agrento? Dario is the famous Italian horror movie director which some of his cult hit films include Suspiria, Deep Red and Inferno. He’s the considered the master of gore in Italy. Dario has also collaborated with Romero many times in the past. Now we can say that he has contributed two great things to society, his bloody movies and hot daughter.

T.Gun’s Take:

What did I think of Land of the Dead? I dug it. I was glad to see Romero come back to the zombie industry after a twenty year (or so) hiatus. It was nice to see him put his stamp back on the zombie world after the introduction of the wild, heat seeking, and rapidly moving super zombie. It was an attempt to bring us back down to Earth.

Romero seems to send us social messages in his zombie movies. In Land of the Dead, Romero orchestrated a great social class struggle. The have’s versus the have not’s. What would people do if given power, and money? How would the less fortunate react? I thought Romero did a great job demonstrated that conflict in Land of the Dead.

I know there are people out there who didn’t like this movie, but I enjoyed it. Romero did a good job with his characters, as he always does. The job wasn’t as great as he did with Dawn, but overall I liked the cast. Dennis Hopper was terrific as the greedy dick head, and the others did a well enough job for me not to hate them. There was some great side “one-line” humor in the film brought to us by the supporting cast…especially the big Samoan dude, Pillsbury.

There was one detail that I thought was a little odd, the year of the apocalypse. Watching the movie, there is no way in hell that these were the events that followed any of the original trilogy’s events. First of all, the technology was a bit to new for the events to be following the originals. Dead Reckoning is a perfect example of that. GPS locating system? Not in the 60’s. Also the film featured walkie talkie cell phones. Again…not in the 60’s. Would that stuff still work?

Secondly, I was a little confused when Riley was questioning Slack about being on the outside of the city walls. She said that she was born in the city and never made it outside. Did the world end a long time ago and she’s been in the city for twenty-some years? If that was true, then the technology argument doesn’t make sense. Or was she just a city slicker that never made it to the suburbs?

Outside of those little things, I loved the film. I saw it in the theaters when it came out and I was overall pleased. I thought that Dead Reckoning stole the show (and it did!). After watching Land on DVD many times since, I’ve grown to appreciate the film more. Romero’s got at least one more “…of the Dead” on the way …perhaps “Island”? But for now here are my rankings of Romero’s zombie flicks:

1. Dawn of the Dead
2. Night of the Dead
3. Land of the Dead
4. Day of the Dead
5. Diary of the Dead

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on June 24, 2005 and made $26 million at the box office ($10.2 million opening weekend)
-Based on the original script for Day of the Dead (1985)
-Rumored alternative titles: Twilight of the Dead, and Dead Reckoning
-Hopper & Argento both starred in the 2004 movie, The Keeper

Review #143: Day of the Dead (1985)

Cast/Notable Credits:
George Romero (Director):

Joe Pilato (Cpt. Rhodes): Dawn of the Dead, Pulp Fiction (1994), Wishmaster (1997)

Richard Liberty (Dr. Logan): The Crazies (1973), The Final Countdown (1980), Porky’s 2 (1983), Flight of the Navigator (1986)

Lori Cardille (Dr. Sarah Bowman)

Terry Alexander (John)

Jarlath Conroy (Billy McDermott)

Sherman Howard (Bub, the Zombie)

Trailer:


Plot:

Continuing along the zombie apocalypse of Romero’s previous two “…of the Dead”
movies, Day of the Dead follows a new group of survivors and their story. Earth has been overturned with zombies, and the human race is all but extinct. A dozen of the last remaining humans have taken refuge in an underground military establishment in Florida.

The underground military establishment is an old abandon RV storage unit. The survivors are a combination of three groups of people, scientists, military and civilians. All groups were assigned by the government to perform different tasks at the base.

The military…obviously protects everyone and is the “muscle” of the group. As it becomes more apparent that the government no longer exists, the soldiers have begun enforcing martial law and recklessly running the show their own way.

The scientist group was assigned to study the zombies and ultimately come up with a cure. Dr. Logan (nicknamed Dr. Frankenstein) leads the scientist and has become obsessed with trying to domesticate the zombies. Dr. Logan has cut up, dissected numerous zombies and has theorized that the zombies can be conditioned and controlled leading up to being domesticated.

Dr. Logan has taken a zombie subject and named it “Bub”. Bub is Dr. Logan’s number one student zombie and is less agitated and aggressive than all others. Bub is primitive and child-like in nature but he demonstrates the ability to remember simple little items and how they work.

Sarah, one of the last remaining logical and rational survivors left, has not forgotten the original assignment and continues to try to find a cure for the infestation. Sarah does not completely agree with Dr. Logan’s attempt to domesticate the zombies.

The civilian group consists of two people, John and Billy. They were assigned to assist both groups to whatever services they need. John's main job was to supply the transportation for the military by flying the helicopter. Billy is in charge of operating old WWII radios in an attempt to communicate with any other survivors.

Conflicted with different ideas on how to live out their remaining days, the different groups start to tear apart at the seams as they argue with each other more than they cooperate with one another. Of course, it’s a Romero movie, so eventually zombies make their way into the compound and things go to hell quickly.

Villain:

Slow moving zombies once again headline the "bad guy" department for a Romero "...of the Dead" movie. This time around, the zombies look pretty good compared to their bluish/grayish look from Dawn. The zombies had different stages of decay and some were pretty grotesque in appearance.

News flash! In case you've been under a rock, zombies LOVE to feed off human flesh. Day of the Dead is no different, but Day does have something the other Romero films didn't have...a feature zombie. And that would be Bub.

Bub is a little different from a typical zombie. He's more tame. Bub is Dr. Logan's star pupil in his attempt to "domesticate" zombies. Bub shows the ability of lower developmental learning. Bub still remembers the things from his past (razors, phones, headphones and even knows how to use a gun). Bub has a close relationship with Dr. Logan as he never attempts to harm him, but Captain Rhodes on the other hand, he would love to kill him. Hint: foreshadowing...hmm.

Cast:

The cast of Day of the Dead is a cheap imitation of Dawn of the Dead's core cast...in my opinion. John is a rip off of our beloved friend Peter. John tries to play the calm and smooth wise character, but fails in my book. I also hated his over the top horrible Jamaican accent. John flies the helicopter and is the lone pilot of the bunch. Hmm...helicopter...another rip off of Dawn?

Next on the list is Billy McDermitt, the other civilian. Billy plays John's best friend and is...shall we say...a little bit of a drunk. His first lines of the movie were spoken as badly acted drunk and then the film repeatedly shows him sippin' down the alcohol from his trusted flask.

Dr. Sarah Bowman portrays the source of intelligence in the film. Played by Lori Cardille, Sarah is a likable female heroine. Sarah clings to the possibility of finding a cure for the zombie apocalypse, but fails to recognize a larger picture at work as it becomes apparent that the world is truly over.

Dr. Logan plays the lead scientist in the operation. His character is the poster child for what a "mad scientist" is. Logan has given up completely on finding a cure and has turned his attention to "domesticating" the zombies. After numerous weird experiments and dissections, he earns the nickname...Frankenstein.

The last character worth mentioning in the film is the head of the military, Captain Rhodes. Rhodes has recently taken command of the military unit and has begun his own agenda...capturing absolute power. Rhodes is the typical major A-hole in the film. Rhodes has given up on the scientist and wants to implement martial law and become the ultimate leader.

SFX/Gore:

The special effects in Day of the Dead were surprisingly the best to date, courtesy of Tom Savini. The collective look of the zombies were awesome. Savini and crew went to great lengths to give each zombie a distinctive look. Factored into the look were different stages of decay, and numerous wounds from zombie bites.

Savini and company did a fabulous job on the death of * Spoiler - Highlight to Read * Captain Rhodes. Ultimately the zombies broke into the facility and Rhodes came face to face with Bub. Bub had broken free and found a gun. Bub shot Rhodes and chased him through the underground corridors. Rhodes attempted to escape through a door way, but as he opened it, a pack of zombies jumped on him and ripped him apart at the stomach. The zombies tore him up (even a fake rubber chicken can be seen as they tear out his intestines) into two main pieces which was a fabulous special effects job. As Rhodes met his doom, he screamed out the phrase, "Choke on em'! Choke on em!" (referring to his body parts) * End Spoiler.

T.Gun's Take:

Being the encore film to Dawn of the Dead is a tough act to follow and that is the number one reason that hurts Day of the Dead so much. Dawn was such a great film, so expectations were high for Day of the Dead but I was disappointed. I guess lightening couldn’t strike twice.

Was Day of the Dead a bad film? No. The problem for me (and many other fans) is that Dawn was such a great movie; Day was…a let-down. The characters in Dawn were totally kick *ss awesome, yet the characters in Day seemed to be a poor man’s version (or rip off) of Dawn’s.

Day was a much darker film than any of the other Romero zombie flicks. The story was more dense and complicated than the others. Romero installed a new aspect to the zombies in the story line...learning skills. Romero continues on trait in Land of the Dead.

Don't expect to see the same cozy feelings from this film as you may have with Dawn. Day of the Dead is more disturbing and darker, but it is still a pretty good movie.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on July 19, 1985 and made $5.8 million at the box office ($1.7 million opening weekend)
-Filmed at a former limestone mine near Pittsburgh
-Extras were reportedly given $1, a copy of the newspaper at the beginning of the movie, and a ball cap reading, “I Played a Zombie in Day of the Dead”
-The newspaper at the beginning of the film is the same used in Resident Evil
-Lori Cardille's father Bill appeared as a reporter in the original Night of the Living Dead