Review #134: Friday the 13th (2009)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Marcus Nispel (Director): TCM

Amanda Righetti (Whitney): Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007), The O.C. and The Mentalist T.V. series

Jared Padalecki (Clay): House of Wax

Danielle Panabaker (Jenna): Sky High (2005), Shark T.V. series

Travis Van Winkle (Trent): Accepted (2006), Dorm Daze 2 (2006), Transformers (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008)

Aaron Yoo (Chewie): Disturbia, 21 (2008)

Derek Mears (Jason): Cursed

Julianna Guill (Bree): Fired Up! (2009)

Arlen Escarpeta (Lawrence): We Are Marshall (2006)

Ben Feldman (Richie): Cloverfield (2008)

Ryan Hansen (Nolan): Veronica Mars T.V. series

Willa Ford (Chelsea):

Nick Mennell (Mike): Halloween

America Olivo (Amanda): Iron Man (2008), Transformers 2 (2009)

Richard Burgi (Officer Brackett): Decoys (2004), Starship Troopers 2 (2004), Cellular (2004), Fun with Dick & Jane (2005), Hostel 2, Desperate Housewives, 24, & The Sentinel T.V. series

Nana Visitor (Pam Voohrees): Star Trek: Deep Space Nine T.V. series

Caleb Guss (Young Jason)

Michael Bay (Producer)

Brad Fuller (Producer)

Sean S. Cunningham (Executive Producer)

Trailer:


Plot:

Normally, I try not to do reviews on movies that was just released in the theaters. Typically I'm really opinionated with them, and tend to either really, really hate or like them. But let's be honest. I'm a Friday guy. This is my baby. I'm gonna give it the benefit of the doubt and love it anyways. I might have a stronger opinion on it later...or not. So let's roll with the review (kind of long, but I tried not to throw too many spoilers)...

Friday the 13th 2009 is a re-imagining of the series, mostly taking parts from the original first four movies. Since Jason’s mother was the villain in the first movie, and he is the focal point of this movie, it can’t be necessarily called a remake.

Five young adults go on a camping trip to Crystal Lake to find a secret stash of weed. Unfortunately for them, weed is not all they find as they run into the horror icon, Jason Voohrees, who quickly dispatches them for trespassing onto his land…and trying to steal his weed. :)

A couple weeks later, the brother (Clay) of one of the missing adults (Whitney) is on his own quest to find his missing sister. Clay has given up on the local police’s efforts to find his sister, and has hit the road on his motorcycle himself, to find her.

While going door to door posting missing flyers, Clay comes across another group of young adults heading to Crystal Lake for the weekend. One of the adults, Jenna, sympathizes with Clay and tags along with him for the search around the lake.

The new group of young adults arrives looking for a good time…i.e.: sex, drugs and drinking…only to find themselves eventually crossing paths with Jason. Jason wins, they lose as he dispatches them for coming onto his territory.

Villain:

The Friday the 13th re-imagining focuses on everyone’s favorite hockey mask wearing retard, Jason Voohrees. This re-imagining tries to bring the human element back into the Jason character. The early Friday the 13th’s (Parts 2-4) really portrayed Jason as a humanistic person. This for me made him a lot more terrifying.

As the sequels grew in the franchise, Jason’s character evolved into a zombie/Frankenstein monster. He moved slow and methodical and also became indestructible. His victims always ran away from him, but yet he was always able to catch them by walking. That never made sense to me.

Jason also demonstrated an unusual amount of strength as he confronted his victims. Even when they fought back, it did them no good, as Jason was able to with stand all the punishment they could dish out. The bottom line was that he was indestructible and incredibly strong both of which made him a super beast from hell.

Being a horror and Jason fan, seeing that version of Jason was nice, because it made him the ultimate badass. But…as the franchise grew in sequels, outrageous plots, and Jason’s character evolving into the fleshy version of the Terminator, the scary aspect of him and the films lost all of its “mojo” that it had in the early films.

The producers, director and writers of the film realized that and gave Jason a make-over for this film. They threw the zombie/Frankenstein portrait of Jason out the window and brought the character back to being more human. They traded the slow, dumb and imperishable version for a faster, smarter and vulnerable Jason. I loved the idea! But did they pull it off?

The first new task of reshaping Jason was to find an actor to play him. Sure they could have dipped back into the Kane Hodder pool, but they passed on that and went with Derek Mears. Mears (Pictured Left) has notably played some of the mutant hill billies in the remakes of The Hills Have Eyes.

Whereas Kane is the poster child of a scary imposing dude being a huge, magnificent physical piece of work, Mears statue is terrifying in itself in different ways. He’s not as built, but more of a taller and leaner person compared to Kane. As this translates to the Jason character, is still makes Jason an over lurking body compared to his victims, but it doesn’t give him the freakish Frankenstein look.

Jason still is able to be physically strong and terrifying, but he is also limited in his strength. Put it this way, he’s not crushing skulls with his bare hands in this one.

Now onto Jason’s demeanor in the film…for years, he had always been the dumb, slow, stealth and popping out of nowhere to catch his victim’s guy. Now Jason is smarter and has been reshaped into a hunter. It makes sense for somebody who has been living off the land for years. You would expect for him to be able to survive somehow. In this film, Jason is actually “setting up” and hunting his prey. And when he attacks, he really attacks. Jason comes after the people…and fast.

He doesn’t give them or the audience time to stare in “ah” at him, he moves with a purpose. No more, “I’ll let you run away so I can magically appear and catch you” bull sh*t. If you’re going to run away, you better be quick and don’t look back, because someone’s on your heels every step of the way. I liked it.

It’s a trait that horror movie should incorporate. If the killer is going to kill someone, let them have the killer instinct to go after the person and carry it out quickly. I’m tired of the screwing around, delaying B.S. that happens in some of these horror movies. Sh*t or get off the pot.

Jason’s wardrobe in this film has some familiar similarities to previous films. First of all, he supports a utility belt. Honestly, it’s quite difficult to tell making it unnoticeable, but he does have a belt. It’s easily identifiable in some of the early promo photos of the film. I’ve read some comments on the web by angry fans exclaiming that Jason never would wear something like that.

Jason actually supported a utility belt in Part 6, after taking out all the paint ballers, so it’s been done before, I don’t see a big deal about it. Besides, I could hardly tell that he had it in the film. That’s probably due to the fact that he was a movin’ mother*cker! He just wouldn’t stand still. See what happens when you make him fast.

The movie also pays tribute to his debut movie, Part 2, and he dons a pillow case mask on his head to conceal his identity. Honestly, that part didn’t do it for me. I liked the old potato sack looking thing in Part 2. The pillow case looked more like a wrap and I had just a hard time digging it. It seemed a little “off” to me.

After some slicin’ and dicin’ with the pillow case on his head, Jason finally has the wrap removed, and comes across the iconic hockey mask. In the originals, Jason received the hockey mask in Part 3. This was another part of the problem when labeling this thing a remake. Just another reason to call it a “reimagining”.

Besides the fact that his mommy did the dirty work in the first film, the mask didn’t come along for a couple movies. It would be impossible to do this film without the mask. Disgruntled fans about remaking old horror movies would have had a coronary if this thing wasn’t in the film. Some people never knew Jason operated without it. So the film makers HAD to incorporate this thing in the film somehow.

I was a little disappointed with the scene of Jason finding the mask. I guess my expectations were a little too high when it came down to the scene. I had heard that it would be memorable, and it would really seal the deal on the new Jason. But the air was let out of my balloon a little bit when it happened. This is probably just me setting higher standards, but I was thinking, “That’s it!” when Jason finally found it. In retrospect, it wasn’t a bad scene, but I just pictured it being more.

Cast:

The Friday films have never been too worried about developing characters or making the audience feel for them, and this film was a little better than most. The two lead characters in the film was Whitney (Righetti) and her brother Clay (Padalecki).

Original I thought that I was going to HATE the Clay character. After all, the character was a WB or CW…whatever…star in Padalecki. I figured that it was just going to be a heart throb, eye candy for the female audience. I didn’t think that Padalecki was going to bring anything to the table.

I know that he stars in the T.V. series, Supernatural, but I’ve never seen an episode, so my expectations of his acting abilities weren’t too high. I was expecting the worse actually. And I admit, he proven me wrong. I actually liked his character a bit. Padalecki (Pictured Right) proved to me that he had some acting talent behind his paper thin character. Clay was a concerned brother looking for his missing little sister. According to the back story (a line or two in the script), they weren’t the closest siblings, but Clay was dedicated to finding his sister. Padalecki wasn’t given much to work with, but he excelled in what he did on screen.

Clay’s sister, Whitney on the other hand…yeah…I just could really care less about her. I saw nothing but a disposable character here. She was the strong female lead in the film and usually it’s a great honor and tradition in the Friday films, but I was rooting for Jason in this time. Well, I always root for Jason, but I wasn’t at all impressed with either Whitney or Righetti. She’s hot looking (Pictured Below), but even that couldn’t turn me from the dark side.

Outside of the siblings, the film lined up the usual stereo typical cast of young adults. There was the dick head prick of the bunch (Trent), the funny Asian dude who loved to drink and smoke pot (Chewie), the token black guy (Lawrence), the slutty blonde (Bree and Chelsea), and a couple of others that fit the type molds.

Outside of Clay being one of the respectable characters in the film I cared for, there were two others…actually three if we include the one that gave me happiness, but I’ll get to that in the TNA section. The first one is Chewie who was played by the Asian dude, Aaron Yoo (Pictured Left). He was one of the kids from the movie, Disturbia. Chewie’s character in the film was the comic relief. The film itself was pretty dark and gruesome, so there was little room for humor…unlike let’s say the…last seven sequels of Friday.

Yoo was one of the few who has actual acting talent as he used it to pop outside of the stereotypical molds set up by the film makers. A little change in tone and voice here and there goes a long way to reshaping a character, and Yoo pulled it off.

The last character worth mentioning is the character of Jenna, played by Danielle Panabaker. Since she’s one of the stars of the film I’m going into spoiler mode when referring to her character. So highlight to read. It’s not hard to figure out that most of these people are going to die given the nature of the film. It’s a Friday the 13th movie after all, but Panabaker’s character is a good character and even I had questioned whether or not she would be the one who would live or die in the film. So…* Highlight to Read *

First of all, F*CK WHITNEY! Jenna’s character was sooo much better. Unfortunately I knew coming into the film that she was going to be the last one to “bite it” on the screen. Damn internet rumors! I really didn’t care too much about that until I actually watched the film.

Panabaker’s performance was pretty good in the film. She played the role of one of those good ole’ whole some girls you would love to take home to moma, but with a mysterious “dark side” –in a good way –to her. I actually cared about her character unlike the chick that survived, Whitney. Swap them out! Jenna was good spirited and well intended, but sometimes that even spells doom in the world of Friday the 13th. I was sad to see her go, but oh well, what do you do? * End

SFX/Gore:

What better number of deaths for a Friday the 13th movie than the number 13? That’s old school! They made Jason brutal in his killings but still had that touch of class of not over doing the gore. I can’t recall too many things that were actually that gory in nature. There weren’t any fountains or geysers of blood in the film. They were all done in a quick brutal fashion.

The film incorporated some old death ideas with new takes on them into the film. There was an arrow to the head kill which had some shout outs to Parts 1 and 3. There was also a disturbing and creepy take to everyone’s favorite sleepy bag death (Parts 7 & 10). The fire poker from Part 3 was revisited in the film, and I believe it added the element of an eye ball on the end…maybe a blend from Part 3 also? Of course, Jason had his favorite weapon on his side, the machete. Unlike FVJ, he wasn’t afraid to leave it behind and try another weapon.

If there were any complaints about the deaths, it probably stems from them being too scripted. What I mean is they were easily predictable as to who would die in what order. One person leaves and is now isolated…dead. Next couple leave…dead. I just thought there could have been room to mix it up every once and a while. Randomize the kills. We all know that most are going to die, I’m just saying throw in a little surprise here and there. I just thought it was too predictable on who would go next.

Another complaint is that, I didn’t think that the film had that ONE kill that stood out. You know that kill that hasn’t been done, and then catches the audience in “Oohs” and “Aahs”. I just didn’t see any of them really separating themselves from the pack.

My favorite kill: *Highlight to Read * This death was more of circumstance death than a better than the rest. The chick water skiing topless finally realizes that Jason is out there, so she swims to the dock and hides underneath it in the water. She looks up through the cracks in the floor boards and sees Jason walking on the dock above her and scanning the lake her.

She thinks that he’s walked away and then a machete comes through the boards and into the top of her skull. As Jason pulls the machete out of the head, it lifts her body out of the water until her head reaches the boards and then just gently slides off the blade and submerges into the water.

It was pretty cool because she’s got that look of having any orgasm on her face as her half naked body is pulled slightly out of the water. Her boobs are just jiggling away in the wind. I thought it was pretty funny. * End.

TNA:

This movie makes up for all those lame remakes, 90’s movies and PG-13 pieces of crap. Big time. It installs some of the true elements of horror movies…sex and nudity…and then you die. For starters, there are five smokin’ hot, sexy chicks in the film (Pictured Below: Guill, Panabaker, Ford; Not: Righetti and Olivio).

Over half of them (three) show their goods. Americo Olivio…what a great porn star name…is the first one, and she oils them up for us as she takes it in the rear doggie style with her boyfriend. Unfortunately her pair seems a little…unnatural. Rack Grade: C+

Next, we have Willa Ford water skiing topless. Hey it works for me. And it’s just not one quick take or a cheap shot of a side boob. We really get to see her chest exposed. Rack Grade: B

Finally we have Guill (Pictured Below). God Bless her. She definitely has a career in the horror industry and has officially won my heart over. Not only does she have a long sex scene exposing her body in perfect poetry, but she’s videotaping it and has it hooked up to the T.V. playing. YOU GO GIRL!

Back to her body…because it’s worth the price of admission alone. Let’s get this part out of the way…the dude refers to her chest and nipple placements as “stupendous”. He’s right. They’re damn perfect. I know I like surgical enhancements as an option, but this is a perfect example of being the way God made you. Her body was rockin’. Just as she was.

The movie even didn’t shy away from it. It wasn’t just a quick ten second glimpse of her artwork, but it was like a 5 minute scene of her going to town and exposing her nude body. Even Jason stopped by the outside window to check the show! Rack Grade: A+

T.Gun Factor:

I was excited about the rebooting of one of my favorite franchises. I saw the movie twice and I loved some things about the movie. Yet, there’s still one of those weird feelings I’ve had about it. I know it’s a Friday, it’s got the same ingredients, but yet there’s something “off” about the film.

It could have been just another slasher flick with a dude in the hockey mask. I’ve tried to decipher what it is, or would be and I've come up with a couple conclusions or ideas that may have made the film seem a little "off". I think the missing "it" centeres around the change in Jason and the music to the film.

As far as the Jason conclusion, I think it’s the change in character. I knew it was coming and I was expecting it. I even was looking forward to it. But I guess it has been beaten into me over the years with the zombie/Frankenstein look to him. The new version looks like him, and does stuff like him, but I still find myself not entirely buying into him. It has nothing to do with Mears or the film; it’s mainly the years of conditioning that I’ve endeared.

I guess somewhere in the back of my noggin, I still miss the little things he did to make him the Jason of old. I found myself looking for one of those patented stares, or the tilt of the head, or the deep exhale of breath, but the new version offered none too little of those traits.

I was expecting those traits from the new one, but I guess somehow I really wasn’t ready for it. I think after a couple of sequels to this new look, it’ll probably be something of a long, lost quirk.

Also, on a character note of Jason * Spoiler: Highlight to Read * Jason does NOT take hostages! WTF!? I know Nispel and Fuller were playing it off as Whitney looking like his mother, but he doesn't take hostages! Period. Now that's off my chest...okay...he did in the film, but let this be a lesson to him in future films. In the end she came back and f*cked him over. * End.

Another thing that might lead to my conclusion is the music. The new version hands the reins to the musical score to Steve Jablonsky. Jablonsky’s movie credits include the score for both of the new TCM movies, The Hitcher, D-War and both Transformer movies (2nd one coming out this summer). He incorporated a few things from the original, but it sounded more like a Terminator soundtrack than a Friday movie.

I know the original flicks centered on Henry Manfredini’s cheesy, but eerie sounds. I have to say, I did miss the simplistic sounds of plucking a guitar down the frets to create a terrifying sound. Jablonsky did stay with the Ki Ki Ki Ma Ma Ma theme at times, but overall, I just couldn’t “feel” it with the musical score.

A few other notable gripes in the film include: the racist jokes, the poorly edited opening sequence with mom, and the campfire story with Wade.

Let's start with the racist thing. The film has the "token" black guy in Lawrence, and every f*ckin' chance it has in it's dialogue it takes a dumb racist joke route. Like the "I'm gonna be a singer" reference. Don't profile me into rap. But in the end, that's what he wants to do. It's just dumb. Why does Hollywood need to make those dumb jokes?

Secondly, the opening sequence with his mother's death was poorly done. The film opens with a sequence showing Jason's point of view during the night of his mother's beheading. You can tell that it was thrown in last minute, as it is spliced together with the montage of opening film credits. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that Producer Brad Fuller listens to his fans, and implemented his mother back into the film (after early test screens had her scenes cut), but it could have been done better.

The last real gripe is the campfire story with Wade. Is this a tribute to the iconic scene in Part 2 where Paul has the camp counselors sitting at the campfire and telling the legend of Camp Blood and Jason. I hope not. I would really hate to see this thing as the opening summary scene for future sequels. I thought it was a rushed and not really done correctly. It didn't help that I wasn't a big fan of Wade in the film...outside of him having a Star Wars Tee on and rockin' to Night Ranger's "Sister Christian".

Okay, I think I got everything I didn't like or didn't live up to my expectations off my chest. Let's move on to the good things about the film. First of all, I give a huge shout out to Nispel, Fuller, Cunningham, and others for rebooting the film. They realized what a joke the last six or so sequels were, and they wanted to make this franchise scary again.

One of the nights I saw this movie, I witnessed...at least a new generation of fans...actually get scared during the film. I sat next to a six pack of teenie boppers (who I'm not sure was even 18...17 maybe...18 could be)and the closest chick next to me was scared out of her mind.

Now, I don't know what her experience is with horror movies, but she was jumping out of her seat all through out the movie. It was pretty funny, because she would shake the row of seats with her constant movement. The ones next to her, I could tell got scared also, but I judge how much based on the one next to me always being jumpy.

This is the stuff that the film makers aimed for. Make it a horror movie again. Not just some random event to make Super Jason kill again. No one took that Jason or franchise seriously anymore. I applaud them for trying to make the franchise good again. As for me...I think I'm too beaten down with horror movies to get scared anymore.

Secondly, the film itself was very polished and complete (outside of the bad opening mommy scene). The look of the lake, and camp was awesome! The film truly felt like there was a haunted place like Crystal Lake. As for the lighting, it wasn't too dark and rough like the old films, but also wasn't glowing with some weird tint to see everything that's going on.

Another great idea they brought into the movie was the maze of tunnels that Jason lived in. They would explain a lot for minor details that might help explain the mystique of Jason. If people went missing around there, it would be easy to track Jason down, BUT if he had a secret maze underneath the ground to hide in (and his victims and their stuff), it would make sense for his disappearing.

The tunnels also make sense from the stand point of him popping up everywhere. It was hard to buy with slow moving Franken-zombie Jason, but makes a whole lot of sense with the newer Jason.

Another great idea the flick gave us was the whole Mary-Jay-Wanna thing. Yep. Jason's a marijuana farmer. So don't mess with his weed! OR He'll F*CK YOU UP! Damn there was a lot of weed in the film. It was great! And the center piece of everything was that it all happens in Jason's backyard.

Could he be like Snoop Dogg? Does he just want to relax, and have some munchies? Probably. But nooo. Young adults come hunting for his weed. No wonder he gets pissed and f*cks them up. Who cares about that whole mother revenge thing? I know why Jason kills...to protect his stash.

Overall, I'm a sucker for Friday films, and with all the hype and anticipation for this flick...I was pleased. I know there will be a lot of hate and discontent by fans who think they are some type of purist, but for me, I'm glad it wasn't a train wreck. Nispel, Fuller and crew did a great job staying true to the franchise and gave the majority of the fans what they wanted.

This movie stastified my hunger for the Friday franchise and I eagerly await the sequel coming on August 13, 2010? Hmm.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on Friday, February 13, 2009 (BOX OFFICE still going)
-First film by Paramount and New Line Cinema together
-Scout Taylor-Compton (Laurie in new Halloween) auditioned for the role of Jenna
-Olivio was Playboy’s Babe of the month for February 2009 in Playboy Afterhours
-Principle photography wrapped up on Friday, June 13, 2008 and released on Friday, February 13, 2009
-Is the 5th Friday to open up on Friday the 13th
-One of the longest opening sequences in movie history; film titled popped up 25 minutes into film
-Biggest opening weekend ($43.5 million) by a horror remake; beat out the Grudge (2004)

Horror Icons #12

Leatherface

Born: August 7, 1939
At a meat factory in Texas

Signature Weapons: Chainsaw & Sledgehammer

Name:
TCM 2 refers to him as “Buba” from the Sawyer family. TCM 3 refers to him as "Junior", and TCM 4...he's a gender confused dude.
Identified as Thomas Brown Hewitt in the 2003 remake.

Bio:
Left to die in the dumpster at the meat factory, Luda May Hewitt, finds him and takes him in as her own. Leatherface is a mentally retarded and disturbing grown man who kills victims for his family and uses the bodies for food.

Films:
TCM (1974) played by Gunnar Hansen
TCM 2 (1986) played by Bill Johnson
TCM 3 (1990) played by R.A. Mihailoff
TCM: The Next Generation (1994) played by Robert Jacks
TCM (2003) played by Andrew Bryniarski
TCM: The Beginning (2005) played by Andrew Bryniarski

Review #133: The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Kim Henkel(Director):

Renee Zellweger (Jenny): Reality Bites (1994), Empire Records (1995), Jerry Maguire (1996), Nurse Betty (2000), Me, Myself & Irene (2000), Bridget Jone's Diary 1 (2001) & 2 (2004), White Oleander (2002), Chicago (2002), Cold Mountain (2003), Shark Tale (2004), Bee Movie (2007)

Matthew McConaughey (Vilmer): Angels in the Outfield (1994), Contact (1997), Amistad (1997), Edtv (1999), U-571 (2000), The Wedding Planner (2001), Frality (2001), Reign of Fire (2002), Sahara (2005), Tropic Thunder (2008)

Robert Jacks (Leatherface)

Tonie Perensky (Darla): Varsity Blues (1999)

Joe Stevens (W.E.): Selena (1997), Varsity Blues

Lisa Marie Newmyer (Heather): Sin City (2005)

TCM (1974) Link:

TCM 2 Link:

TCM 3 Link:

TCM (2003) Link:

TCM (2005) Link:

Trailer:


Plot:
Prologue:

August 18, 1973. News of a bizarre, chainsaw wielding family—reports which were to ignite the world’s imagination—began to filter out of central Texas. Regrettably not one of the family members was ever apprehended and for more than ten years nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years at least
two minor, yet apparently related incidents, were reported. Then again nothing.
For five long years silence…

And then the film makers should have stopped the movie. Really. No I am serious.

The 4th installment of the TCM takes place on May 22, 1996. Four high schoolers (Jenny, Sean, Heather and Barry) abruptly leave their senior prom and cruise around on the Texas roads in the night. On a back road they hit another car, causing both vehicles to be inoperative. The car’s other occupant is injured and unconscious. Jenny, Heather and Barry leave on foot to find help as Sean stays behind with the injured.

If you haven’t picked up on what happens next, the stranded four encounters the Sawyer family and thus the next horrifying chapter of the TCM occurs.

Villain:

The Sawyer family returns, and once again the family tree have differed from the previous films. Leading the pack is Vilmer (Matthew McConaughey). Vilmer’s character is an over the top psycho who cuts himself and wears a remote control robotic knee brace. Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought, a remote control robotic knee brace. I thought this character was extremely exaggerated in his performance. I wouldn’t say it hurt the movie, but it didn’t help. Besides, there are MANY things that hurt the movie.

Joining Vilmer in the family are Darla, W.E, and Grandfather. Darla is Vilmer’s idiotic trophy wife who has been sucked into the mix sometime ago. W.E. is the…wait a second! W.E. was executed by the gas chamber according to the prologue in TCM 3.

Then again, this movie’s prologue reads that no one was apprehended stemming from the original incident. Probably there’s a continuity issue at fault here. On the other hand, the prologue confirms the existence of the third movie. Confused? So am I.

Grandfather is alive and well in this film. After years of being a rotting corpse the family drug around to the dinner table, this dude is alive and well. It was also no surprise when he got up from the table and left. I could see that a mile away. The make-up job on him was horrible. I could easily tell that he was going pop up after the film played the notion that he was a stiff.

Normally, I start off mentioning Leatherface as the first villain, but this time it hurts me not to. There’s good reason for this. Leatherface is a transvestite, over grown pussy! He wears women’s faces as mask and runs around wearing grandma clothing. He cowers in the corner when yelled at and never takes the initiative to kill or hunt. W.E. picks on him with a little cattle prong and chases him around the estate.

ARE YOU F*CKIN’ KIDDING ME?

They’ve taken a notorious serial killer, one of the most recognizable villains in horror movie history and made him into a f*ckin’ transvestite pussy! I’m done with this movie.

Cast:

Jenny (Renee Zellweger) her prom date, Sean and the couple of Barry and Heather make up the majority of the cast. They all sucked. Zellweger should be ashamed of this. Also, the film refers to Jenny as the ugly chick in school. If this is evidence of the ugly chick in school, then I want to attend that school! Renee pictured below.

SFX/Gore:

Not much outside of the over indulging blood and gore the franchise has already established as their trademark.

TNA:

There are three hot pieces of *ss in the film. Obviously Renee leads the trio in this category. Lisa Marie Newmyer (Pictured right) plays the role of Heather and Tonie Perensky takes on the role of Darla. Darla gives the audience a quick glimpse of a side boob as she flashes herself out the window to a couple of town locals.

Concept:

They should have never made this movie. There were no scary moments in the film; there was just a whole lot of screaming, whining and loud noises. Throw in some embellished acts of bizarreness to the mix, and you get…well…this masterpiece of crap.

One other random, off the wall scheme the movie incorporated into the script was the notion of some company being behind the family massacres as a cover up. This dude in a suit (Rothman) shows up during the dinner table scene, and says some things that make no sense at all, rips open his shirt and exposes his belly gut pierced three ways. He then steps over to Renee’s character and licks her and then leaves.

Rothman pops up at the end to save Jenny and invites her into his limo and gives her the ole’ “don’t tell anyone or I’ll kill you look” and drops her off at the local hospital and the movie ends. WTF is that about?

T.Gun Factor:

WTF!?

No, really...

WTF!?

Its pieces of crap like this that gives the horror industry a bad name. The ones responsible for this film should be brought to justice. They should be held accountable for their actions. How could they spit out a terrible film like this? How can they sleep at night?

I could get all my friends in the car, roll up and lock the windows and let out a huge fart out, and THAT would be a better horror movie than this film! People that have hammered the remake of TCM should applaud that film for ridding the franchise of the stench that this film put out.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on September 22, 1994 and made $185K at the Box Office
-Three members of the original make cameos in the hospital scene (Marilyn Burns, John Dugan, Paul Partain)
-Chainsaw make: McCulloch 10-10S

Review #132: Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Jeff Burr (Director): Stepfather 2 (1989), Pumpkinhead 2 (1993), Wishmaster 4 (1993) & 5 (1994), Night of the Scarecrow (1995), Devil's Den (2006)

Viggo Mortensen (Tex) : Young Guns 2 (1990), Psycho (1998), Lord of the Rings Trilogy, A History of Violence (2005)

Ken Foree (Benny)

Kate Hodge (Michelle): She Wolf of London T.V. series

Toni Hudson (Sara): Nothing in Common (1986)

R.A. Mihailoff (Leatherface ‘Junior’ Sawyer): Trancers 3 (1992), Pumpkinhead 2 (1993)

William Butler (Ryan): Friday Part 7

Joe Unger (Tinker): A Nightmare on Elm St

Tom Everett (Alfredo): Friday Part 4, Air Force One (1997), Thirteen Days (2000), Tremors 3 (2001), xXx (2002), The Alamo (2004), The Island (2005), Transformers (2007), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Jennifer Banko (Leatherface’s Daughter): Friday Part 7, Barb Wire (1996)

Beth DePatie (Gina): Nightmare Part 5

Duane Whitaker (Kim): Pulp Fiction (1994), Puppet Master 5 (1994), Night of the Scarecrow (1995), From Dusk Till Dawn 2 (1999), The Devil’s Rejects (2005), Feast (2005), The Butcher (2007), Trailer Park of Terror (2008)

Michael Shamus Wiles (Checkpoint Officer): Trancers 3, Puppet Master 4 (1993), Fallen (1998), Pearl Harbor (2001), A.I. (2001), D-War (2007), Transformers

Trailer:


Plot:

Driving cross country on their way from Los Angeles to Florida, Michelle and Ryan stop off at an isolated Texas gas station to fill up for gas. Acting on a tip from a local hitchhiker, Ryan decides to take a short cut through the heartland of Texas to get to Houston.

While driving on the short cut road late at night, the two are terrorized by a monster pickup truck and run off the road. While changing a blown out tire on the side of the road, Michelle and Ryan encounter the chainsaw wielding maniac, Leatherface.

Ryan changes the tire and the two of them quickly drive off as Leatherface causes damage to the truck of the car. While escaping, they encounter another vehicle driving opposite of them on the road. They swerve to miss something popping out in the middle of the road and collide with the other vehicle.

Now stranded in the middle of nowhere, Michelle, Ryan and the other vehicle’s tenant, Benny; fight for their lives as they have fallen prey to a Sawyer family trap in the swamp lands of Texas.

Villain:

The Sawyer family returns for another Texas adventure. Leading the cast of family members is the notorious Leatherface (yet again, a re-casted actor). Leatherface continues to be a boy trapped in a man’s body, but seems to have entered his teenage years as his hormones have kicked in a little. We also get a nice glimpse as we see Leatherface construct a mask out of human flesh.

Throwing continuity out the window, this Sawyer family has a couple new characters added to the line-up. A mother of the family has entered the equation. The mother is a wheelchair bound, voice box speaking old hag who dictates the house hold.

New to the mix are family members Tex, Alfredo, and Tinker…oh wait, and the rotting corpse of Grandfather too. Yes, they still wheel his *ss around. Tinker drives the monster truck and Alfredo operates the gas station down the road.

Alfredo is played by Tom Everett (Pictured left). Doesn’t sound familiar? Well Everett has a list of major film credits including Air Force One (One of the President’s aides), The Island (Clone of the President), and Transformers (Pentagon Official). He also had a small part at the beginning of Friday Part 4.

And now onto the character of Tex. Tex is played by the Lord of the Rings, king himself, Aragon or also known as Striker. Yep. Viggo Mortensen. Who knew he was attached to this piece? I guess everyone’s got to start somewhere. Tex is the hitchhiker that draws the victims into the trap, and also is one of the family leaders. He also gives Leatherface a huge *ss chainsaw as a present.

Completing the family of cannibals is Leatherface’s little daughter. WTF?! Since when did Leatherface have a little ten year old daughter? Even better, who the f*ck did he knock up to get her? There are too many questions and too few answers. The little girl is played by Jennifer Banko, who also starred as the young Tina in Friday the 13th Part 7. If you don’t remember, it’s the one that has the chick with powers. Banko plays a very disturbed little girl in the film, who roots and cheers for the death of others.

Cast:

There are three central characters (outside of the Sawyer family) in TCM 3. The first character is Michelle, or the heroine of the film, and is played by actress Kate Hodge. She is driving her father’s car cross country to drop it off to him. Michelle is put through the majority of the torture events of the film as she is captured by the family and escapes to fight them off.

Accompanying Michelle is her smart-aleck, pre-med boyfriend, Ryan. He’s pretty much an annoying dick. On a side note, he also starred alongside of Banko in Friday Part 7. He’s the dude’s cousin that got hacked up in the woods by Jason.

The third and final character in the film is Benny. Benny is played by Dawn of the Dead legend, Ken Foree. Benny has been going up to teach some militia survival camp on the weekends at some location nearby. To say the least, Benny is prepared when it comes to the family hunting them down. Just like a good Boy Scout. Besides Tex, Benny’s the best character in the film.

SFX/Gore:

TCM 3 continues the chainsaw tradition of serious amounts of blood, guts and gore in the film. If you’re wondering, there is a chainsaw death or two, and there is also a new take on the sledge hammer death. The body count is a disappointing six, mainly because the bulk of that number comes from the Sawyer family side.

TNA:

Not a big fan of this franchise for this category. There is more going on for the female audience than there is for the male audience. The females get the heart-throbbed, Viggo, while the males get two less than desirable Shark Factors. One of which is dirty, and bloodied up in her short appearance. On a side note, little Jennifer Banko has grown up to look kinda hot (Pictured Right).

Concept:

TCM 3 continues to use the basic principles that the first TCM proposed. A cannibalistic family with a chainsaw dancing retard, hunting and killing unsuspecting travelers. I can’t really tell whether this movie was supposed to be a sequel or just another take on the series. After all, there are many, many continuity questions in the film.

The beginning of the film starts off with a prologue stating that W.E. Sawyer lived to see trial from the first incident. He was found guilty and executed in the gas chamber. Sally Hardesty died in a mental hospital years later.

First of all, who is W.E.? There were no names mentioned in the first film. Was it the gas station owner? I thought that his name was Drayton in the second one. So once again, who the hell is W.E.? (Just wait for the next film's review)

Secondly, the family make-up changes, then again in every movie, the family changes. Now there are three new brothers/family members, a mother, and a little girl. Are they distant degenerate cousins that like to kill also?

As you can see my dilemma on whether or not this is a sequel or different take on this. It’s probably a blend of both. Outside of the constant issues with family members, there were a couple good things I found interesting in the film like the trapping and hunting plan.

By the family’s house there is a swamp labyrinth where the family has built hidden traps to help assist in hunting their prey. I thought that this aspect was a pretty cool idea to add to the genre. These ideas created a good creepy atmosphere to the film. It also set up a nice hunting game between the family and Benny. Too bad, they didn’t indulge more on this in the film.

T.Gun Factor:

Overall I like this film more than I did with the 2nd sequel, but it still had a feel of “been there, done that” to it. TCM 3 is not a complete waste of time, but more of a different, poor man’s take on the original film. Knowing that, I can’t really hate or ‘dis’ TCM 3 that much because most of my favorite horror movies are just different takes on the original. Bottom line, I’ll just call TCM 3…okay.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on January 12, 1990 and made $5.7 million at the Box Office ($3.2 million opening weekend)
-Only TCM not filmed in Texas
-The chainsaw in the movie weighed ~ 80 lbs
-Kane Hodder (Jason) was the movie’s stunt coordinator

Review #131: Valentine (2001)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Jamie Blanks (Director): Urban Legend

Denise Richards (Paige): Tammy and the T-Rex (1994), Starship Troopers (1997), Wild Things (1998), The World Is Not Enough (1999), Undercover Brother (2002), Scary Movie 3 (2003)

David Boreanaz (Adam): The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005), Buffy, Angel & Bones T.V. series

Marley Shelton (Kate): Death Proof (Pictured Right)


Jessica Capshaw (Dorothy): Minority Report (2002), The Practice T.V. Series

Jessica Cauffiel (Lily): Road Trip (2000), Urban Legends 2 (2000), Legally Blonde (2001) & 2 (2003), D.E.B.S. (2004), White Chicks (2004), Guess Who (2005)

Katherine Heigl (Shelley): Bride of Chucky

Fulvio Cecere (Det. Vaughn): Excess Baggage (1997), Disturbing Behavior (1998), The Bone Collector (1999), The Hurricane (1999), Double Jeopardy (1999), Best in Show (2000)

Trailer:



Plot:

The film starts off with a flashback to a middle school Valentines Day Dance, with a nerdy, dorky looking kid (Jeremy Melton) going up to all the girls (or at least five of them) and asking for a dance. One by one they all turn him down. Until he finally finds the school's fat chick and she accepts.

They dance, and one thing leads to another and before you know it, they're making out underneath the schools bleachers. Some of the school's other kids find them secretly engaged in lip lock and then proceed to pick on them. The fat girl claims that Jeremy attacked her and she wasn't part of the "love session". The kids take Jeremy, strip his clothes and humiliate him in front of the whole dance.

Years later Jeremy decides to unleash his anger on the girls who passed up his dance offer. Jeremy sends each of the girls a disturbing, demented Valentine's Day card and then picks them off one by one as they brainstorm to figure out who is killing them..

A basic Public Service Announcement to all those girls that rejects the dorky kid at the dance: Give him a damn dance! Just one. You don't have to sleep with the dude, just a dance. Otherwise years later, he'll grow up into some psychotic, revenge seeking man who kills you. Once again, give the kid a pity dance. It'll make his day, and eventually save your life.

Villain:

The main villain of the film has his/her identity hidden from the viewers until the end. All through the movie the person wears a cupid mask (or cherub) while being dressed in black. I'm not trying to tell or hint who it might be, or infer with a picture of him on the left, but to be honest, it's not hard to tell who the real villain is or might be...David Boreanaz...aka...Angel.

I believe right before the movie came out, a Canadian news station accidentally leaked the identity of the killer during an interview. Oops! So when I saw the film, it was no secret who the killer was (even though it's quiet is to pick up on) and the "twist surprise" ending had no real shock value to it.

Cast:

Talk about cardboard thin acting and characters, this film had it all. It maybe a surprise to some, but who would have thought a film that ticketed Denise Richards as one of it's stars, would have bad acting? Yeah, that's what I thought. It was a total blind-side. Never saw it coming. Denise pictured right.

Mrs. Richards-Sheen (or whatever she is now) plays the hot, super b*tchy, stuck up, slut chick, Paige, in the film. Wow, she didn't even need to act. She should have just been her self.

The main girl in the film is actually Marley Shelton who plays Kate. Kate is the stereo-typical "pure" girl who hasn't done anything wrong in her life...so the story revolves around her part. While the other girls in the film struggle to find their "true love", Kate has an "off and on" relationship with her boyfriend, Adam.

SFX/Gore:

Lost in the shuffle of this film is it's unique style of kills. I have always been impressed with the film to use bloody and gory ways to "oft" a person. There were a couple of generic ways of killing (like all films), but for the most part the film tried to be different. How many films use an iron to say good bye to a character? Not many.

The best kill, or my favorite was the kill of * Highlight to Read * Campbell's ex-girlfriend, Ruthie. After being chased around in the basement of a mansion by the Cupid, Ruthie finds herself eye to eye with him. Cupid throws her through a glass shower door and she bangs her head against the tile wall. On the bottom ledge of the shower remains a few jagged pieces of broken glass, Cupid slams her throat down on the shards of glass sticking up. * End. I thought it was the best kill of the film.

TNA:

There's a lot of smokin' hot chicks in Valentine, but no of them are any hotter than Katherine Heigl in my opinion. Sure Denise Richards has always been a poster child for the exotic, lustful type, but Heigl (Pictured below) is way better looking in my eyes.

Valentine does a lot of "male teasing" in the film with the help of several shower scenes, a hot tub bikini scene, a disturbing end to an erotic wax scene but fails to give the flesh and curves of what men really want.

For the women, you get David Boreanaz. The dude who played Angel in Buffy and Angel, or the dude in the show Bones. Hey, if I could die and come back handsome, I'd pick his the blueprint he's got. I'm not saying it's a man-crush, but if I was a chick...I would be attracted to him.

Concept:

Hey a horror movie dubbed after a holiday. Haven't seen that before! A nerdy kid seeking revenge on the popular girls who turned him down at a middle school Valentine's dance. Well, not that original, but it does the trick. It does send a message to all those that have seen this...dance with the nerdy boy...or suffer a far worse fate down the road.

The story and script are weak, but most horror films have that problem. The killer, which is supposed to be Top Secret, is very easy to predict, thus leaving little astonishment during the revelation at the end of the film.

T.Gun Factor:

It's a campy little revenge horror flick. I have a lot of mix feelings about this film. On one hand, it completely sucks as a film. Pretty horrible. But on the other hand, it tries to appease the audience. It doesn't hold back in it's kills or blood. That's pretty much what horror fans expect. Valentine tried to make a classic horror film, but it failed.

By the way, whatever happened to those Valentine Day parades in school? You know the ones, where you make some crappy mailbox out of a grocery sack, and then everyone goes around dropping Valentine Cards in everyone's sack. Then later on you find the one card that reads, "You have a secret admirer!" Do they still do that? Why don't they make a horror movie based off that plot? It could go something a little like this...

Young Timmy becomes obsessed with finding the little girl that left an unsigned "secret admirer" card in his Valentine's sack. Years later, Timmy is hard up for love, and still obsessed with finding his "true love".

Timmy searches for the girl as he stalks all the girls in his class until he finds the "one". Timmy picks off the ones that don't fall in love with him or he finds out that wasn't the one that sent him the card.

Sounds far fetched and crappy? Yeah, but so is Valentine. But if it doesn't... Hollywood, give me a call.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on February 2, 2001 and made $20.3 million at the Box Office ($10 million opening weekend)
-The cheapest film to ever have a Superbowl spot ($10 million)
-Tara Reid was originally casted to play Dorothy

Review #130: His Name Was Jason: 30 Yrs of Friday the 13th (2009)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Daniel Farrands (Director)

Tom Savini (Host)

His Name Was Jason (HNWJ) is a documentary about the Friday the 13th films. It’s pretty much the missing bonus materials that weren’t offered in the deluxe box set. HNWJ includes a two hour documentary presentation about the whole franchise. It’s about damn time someone put the effort into doing something with this franchise.

After all the bickering over the “rights” between Paramount and New Line Studios, we finally get a special feature worth a sh*t.

Since it is a documentary about something I dearly love, I’m only going to tell the skinny about the documentary. It’s a two disc set and each disc includes:

Disc 1:

Feature Presentation Documentary
-Recap of all the films
-Origin and theories on Jason
-The Friday Formula
-Where’s Crystal Lake?
-Interviews with over 80 + actors/actresses/directors/fans & more! (Where's Corey Feldman & Crespin Glover?)

Behind the Mask
-Short interviews with all the men who have played Jason

Disc. 2:

Final Cuts
-Interviews with 8 directors from the films (Where's Steve Miner?!)

Script to Screen
-Interviews with 5 writers

Dragged from the Lake
-Short stories from the series/behind the scenes

Closing the Book on the Final Chapter
-A revisit to the film’s location and house in part 4

Fox Comes Home
-Fox (actress) returns to the film’s location in Part 3

Friday in 4 Minutes
-A quick series recap in 4 minutes

Camp Crystal Lake Survival Guide
-Quick tips for surviving a trip to Camp Blood

Shelley Lives
-Shelly’s commercial (Strong-arm accident lawyer)

Fan Films

Jason Takes Comic Con
-San Diego Comic Con 2008 with cast members for the remake movie

Tour at Universal Studio’s Halloween Nights
-A tour of the Friday the 13th exhibit at Universal Studios

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on February 3, 2009 & went straight to DVD

Top 5 Reasons To:

See the New Friday the 13th Remake:

5. Because it's Friday the 13th!

That's reason enough to go see it.

4. To see how this chick dies...

...or lives...yeah right!

3. Why the hell not?

They're not afraid.

2. Plenty of Hot Chicks

There's 3 good reasons by themselves!

1. Jason

If you disagree...he'll come for you!

Only a few more days to go!

Review #129: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Tobe Hooper (Director)

Dennis Hopper (Texas Ranger ‘Lefty’ Enright): Cool Hand Luke (1967), Easy Rider (1969), Speed (1994), Land of the Dead

Caroline Williams (Vanita ‘Stretch’ Brock): TCM 3, Stepfather 2 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Leprechaun 3 (1995), How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Jim Siedow (Drayton Sawyer): TCM

Bill Moseley (Bo ‘Chop Top’ Sawyer): Halloween

TCM (1974) Link:

TCM (2003) Link:

TCM: Beginning Link:

Trailer:


Plot:

Thirteen years later, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre has yet to be solved. The family has disappeared into thin air, at least until the weekend of the Red River Rivarly (Texas vs. Oklahoma college football game).

Two rich kids are on their way to the game when they call into a local radio station and give the DJ (Vanita ‘Stretch’ Brock) hell. Afterwards they decide to play chicken on the road with a blue pickup truck. Later on that evening that same pickup truck catches up to them. The two are on their cell phone again with the radio station, as they are attacked by Leatherface and his brother. They die, but the DJ captures their phone call on recording with sounds of a chainsaw and screaming.

The next morning police are investigating an apparent car crash (the two kids), and former Texas Ranger “Lefty” Enright (Dennis Hopper) is on the scene. Lefty has been investigating and hunting down Leatherface and friends for years. His brother’s kids were the ones from the first TCM movie. Great writing! To say the least, he has a personal vendetta against Leatherface and family. His obsession with the case has also led to his dismissal as a ranger.

Lefty believes that the crash has something to do with the chainsaw family because of strange marks on the door of the car (chainsaw scratches). The local police dismiss the notion, and calls the wreck a regular crash. Lefty uses the media to put out a plea for information on the crash.

Stretch comes knocking with the audio tape recording of the crash. Lefty encourages her to play the recording many times over the radio with the hopes of bringing out the family. Stretch being a little naïve and gullible, overlooks the fact that Lefty is using her for bait. She agrees and plays the tape once an hour on her late night show.

Guess what? Yep, the chainsaw family comes down to the radio station trying to “clean up” their mess. Come ‘on you didn’t see that coming? If they didn’t bite on the bait, then there would be no movie. Nor would I be doing this review.

Oh by the way, the family has been given a name by now. It’s the Sawyer family. Not as in Tom Sawyer. Is it? Probably not. How 'bout the song by Rush, "Tom Sawyer"? I think I'm 0-2. Anyways...the Old Man (father) from the first family has been identified as Drayton Sawyer. He wins a chili cook off, and that’s his name. Fake? Maybe, but oh well, I have something to call them now. Leatherface is referred to as “Buba”, probably a nickname by his brother Chop Top (Bill Moseley).

Chop Top didn’t appear in the first movie, so who knows where the hell he came from. The Hitchhiker in the first film (who got ran over by a semi truck at the end) is referred to as Nubbins. Chop Top drags his corpse around during the film. There you have it. The remake refers to the family as the Hewitt’s, and this one identify them as the Sawyers.

Back to the story…Leatherface and Chop Top crashes the party at the radio station and brutally kills one of Stretch’s co-workers. She barricades herself in a room, while Chop Top plays with her dead co-worker. Chop Top sicks Leatherface on her, but she tricks him which lead to him “falling” in love with her. Leatherface lies to Chop Top when asked, “Did you kill her?”

Chop Top and Leatherface take off and retreat home. Stretch follows them and Lefty secretly follows her. The journey leads everyone to an abandoned amusement park. In the amusement park, the Sawyers live in a labyrinth of underground tunnels and caves. They’ve kept the rotting corpses of their victims over the years down in the tunnels...sounds like Disney Land! They have endless tunnels that consume people ($$$). Drayton Sawyer has used the “meat” as the secret ingredient to his prize winning chili formula.

Stretch falls down into the tunnels and hides from the family, as Lefty (who has completely lost it by now) trashes the place with his own chainsaws while searching for the family…and Stretch…maybe. She really didn’t seem like a “top priority” to me.

Villain:

The Sawyer family, Leatherface, pops, grandpops…yes he’s STILL alive…the new brother…and the corpse of the dead brother all terrorize Stretch on the big screen. For me, Leatherface is somewhat of a pussy now. I didn’t like the whole “crush” idea in the movie. Sure he’s still a big retarded baby trapped in a man’s body, but I just couldn’t buy into the new change of character.

The new brother, Chop Top, really stole the show for me. He was truly f*ckin’ insane! Chop Top has a metal plate in his head, which he mentioned that he got in Vietnam. Maybe that’s where he was in the first film, but his character was totally whacked out and bizarre…at least mentally. As a physical threat, he didn’t really scare me, his insane personality pretty much kept him from doing physical harm.

FYI: 90% of chainsaw deaths result from trees or branches falling on the person

Cast:

Dennis Hopper (Pictured left) as a Texas Ranger. Eat your heart out Chuck Norris! You’re not the only super stud in Texas. Who cares that Hopper was shown the door? Hopper played a great part in the film as a vengeful, borderline psychotic, ex-Texas Ranger.

Honestly, I thought the film went away from him too long, as there was some gaps between scenes we got to see him. When we did get a glimpse, he was pretty good. I loved when he went into a chainsaw shop to buy his own. He just threw down a couple hundred bills on the table and started testing and swinging the chainsaws until he found three that he liked. He never said a word during the purchase.

The only other cast member of note was the lead female, Stretch, played by Caroline Williams. Stretch? Okay. She played a pretty good role in the film, but it was far less superior to the Sally Hardesty chick’s performance. The film tried to strike gold twice, but…nah…they really didn’t.

SFX/Gore:

Wow, there was less deaths in the film. I’m not counting the “possible” deaths of the family members at the end. Overall, there were three deaths. Two of them happened in the film’s first ten minutes (one off screen), and the other death…well let’s say…they really indulged themselves with it.

The final death was the co-worker of Stretch, LG. The film really made him a sacrificial lamb in the film. The film originally received an “X” rating and I’m guessing that LG’s death had a lot to do with it. First of all, they club him to death with a hammer. I mean they (Chop Top and Leatherface) really go to town on him, and just for kicks, Leatherface uses his chainsaw on his legs.

But wait…that’s not all! Once they bring him back to the lair, Leatherface peels his facial skin off and uses it as a mask for him and Stretch. Then when you least expect it, the mother f*cker comes back to life! By this time he looks pretty gruesome from all the pounding and torture, and then quickly dies shortly afterwards.

TNA:

Even less than the first film. Really? I thought adding more TNA to the film is a staple in the sequel process, not to retract it. Stretch does go around wearing very short shorts complemented with cowboy boots. It visually looked nice on film.

Concept:

The second movie is no more than just another fun time to have Leatherface on the screen again. It’s called a dark comedy as it really is an over the top, tongue and cheek version of the TCM. The film makers decided to have fun with the film and take it to the limits of gore. Where’s the TNA limits?

The film did a great thing by bringing Texas Ranger Hopper on, but I thought that they underutilized that character. I really didn’t like the he’s the uncle of the kids from the first film aspect, but I guess back in the mid-eighties, that type of twist and writing hadn’t been sucked dry yet. It was a cheap move, but oh well, it got a vengeful T.R. on the screen.

T.Gun Factor:

I remember seeing this film when I was younger and thinking that it was totally over the top disgusting. Years later, my opinion hasn’t changed much, but I’m more able to tolerate the film. I’ve always disliked this entry because I thought it just went overboard with the gore.

I have to give the film some jeers with at least one scene. They did have one good scare in them. It was at the radio station when Stretch met Chop Top. You know that somewhere around, Leatherface was lurking, but you didn’t know where he was hiding. Then when you least expect it…BAM! Leatherface comes out of nowhere with his chainsaw buzzin’.

Where the first film was really creepy and scary, this film was just out to be gory. I liked the first film better, but this film, I’ve never totally embraced. Don’t get me wrong, I can watch it but I find little enjoyment from the film. TCM 2 is a perfect movie if you really like a dark and disgusting humor in your cup of tea.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on August 22, 1986 and made $8 million at the Box Office ($2.8 million opening weekend)
-Film is banned in Germany, Norway and Singapore
-Film was banned in Australia for 20 years
-Originally received a ‘X’ rating, but was released as ‘Unrated’
-Was the final film of Jim Siedow (Died November 20, 2003)