Friday Remake Rant #1

Well back in January, I did a quick rant about remakes in preparation for my review of the new Halloween remake. Over the course of the year, I've read other opinions and thoughts about remakes and have started to settle in and find my true feelings on remakes. Mostly inspired because of one of my favorites is about to be remade or re imagined and hit theaters in a few months. So I have decided to rant on some tangents regarding the film. I'll break it down into segments as ideas come and go, that way it's just not one LONG rant.



Where to start? Let's see here, how 'bout that while searching on message boards, I've found a lot of fan rage and anger fueled by the upcoming Friday the 13th remake. Some don't like the idea in general and some already hate some of it's parts that has leaked out. I've been a hound on the message boards reading (but not responding to) some of the entries. Whether it's comments on You tube or some other official sites, some idiots are hippocrates when it comes to the subject.

1. Be happy that Jason's back!

I hate reading the opinions of some dude(s) who thinks that they knew it all when it comes to the horror industry. It's like they're Horror Purists or something. Typically they hate remakes and post stupid quotes like,

"I'm not gonna waste my ten bucks on that rip off. The original's better, and they shouldn't mess with it. Remakes suck!"

Really? You're not going to see it? You devote yourself to being a Jason fan and yet you come out into the open and start bashing this remake without even seeing it yet. It's also the person who has been bitching how Jason needs to be on the screen more and there needs to be a Part 12. Seriously, you would opt for a Part 12 instead? What would the plot line be?

Jason enters the internet and kills people?

Jason trapped in a cell phone. Can you kill me now?

Please people this isn't Oscar winning material here. The well has been tapped dry in story lines. The whole franchise has slowly been ruined over the years. Plot and continuity lines...there just aren't any. The many, many sequels have been fun to watch, but honestly the indefinite amount of sequels also has killed the character. No one takes the character seriously anymore. The series is kind of comical now.

The last stand alone Jason movie was...Jason X. The movie is brutally smacked down as one of the worst in the series by many fans. If you wanted to laugh your ass off, it would be considered one of the best. Yet Jason X was the last original plot line in the series. Vs doesn't count. Let's take a look at the past movie plot lines:

FvsJ: Freddy battles Jason - a fan boys dream, but unrealistic and comical

Jason X: Jason in space! In the future! You're kidding? Right?

Jason Goes to Hell: Body jumping evil snake Jason

Part 8: Jason goes to New York

Part 7: Jason battles a chick with powers while slaughtering kids at Camp Crystal Lake

Part 6: Jason comes back to life to slaughter kids at Camp Crystal Lake

Part 5: Not even Jason - wrecks havoc on troubled kids

Part 4: Jason slaughters kids who live near Camp Crystal Lake

Part 3: Jason slaughters kids who live near Camp Crystal Lake, but receives a Hockey mask free!

Part 2: Jason slaughters kids at Camp Crystal Lake

Part 1: Mom slaughters kids at Camp Crystal Lake

I kind of see a theme here. Plot lines have been...let's say pretty redundant, so why not give the series a reboot? Just think of it as Part 12. It doesn't matter if it's a number or not. It's going to be the same as the others...Jason slaughters kids at Camp Crystal Lake.

It's not like they've followed the story to the "T". So who cares if it's a reboot, remake or Part 12? Call it what you want, but it's still a Jason movie. And don't feed me the bullshit that you're not going to waste your money seeing it. You'll give in. If you're any type of Jason fan, you'll see it. You'll see it just to prove everyone how crappy it is in your opinion. Just to reinforce what you think of it. Yet if it was Part 12, you wouldn't bitch. You would be suckin' it's dick.

Be thankful that Jason's back on the big screen!