Review #18 & 19: Grindhouse (2007)

Planet Terror

Cast/Notable Credits:
Robert Rodriguez (Director): Sin City (2005), Spy Kids Trilogy, The Faculty, From Dusk til’ Dawn (1996), Four Rooms (1995), Desperado (1995)

Rose McGowan (Cherry): Deathproof, Jawbreaker (1999), Devil in the Flesh (1998), Phantoms (1998), Scream, Bio-dome (1996), Encino Man (1992), and Charmed T.V. series

Freddy Rodriguez (El Wray): 6 ft Under, Poseidon (2006), Bobby (2006)

Josh Brolin (William Block): Goonies (1985), Mimic (1997), Hollow Man (2000), Into the Blue (2005)

Marley Shelton (Dakota Block): Deathproof, Sin City, Valentine, Sugar & Spice (2001)

Jeff Fahey (JT Hague): Lawnmower Man (1992), Psycho 3 (1986), Darkman 3 (1986)

Michael Biehn (Sheriff Hague): Aliens, Terminator (1984), The Rock (1996), Cherry Falls (2000), Navy Seals (1990), The Abyss (1990)

Bruce Willis (Lt. Muldon): Many, many, many movies

Naveen Andrews (Abby): Sayid from Lost

Stacy Ferguson (Tammy): singer for Black Eyed Peas & “Fergie"

Electra & Elise Avellan (Babysitters): twin girls in Deathproof

Trailer:



Directors Quentin Tariatino and Robert Rodriguez decided to pay tribute to the old 70’s drive inn grindhouse style movie double features. Rodriguez directs the first movie of the double feature, Planet Terror.

Planet Terror is also the better movie of the two movies...by far. So what's the scoop? A military genetic altering human expert goes haywire which leads to zombies taking over a nearby city and then the planet. The townsfolk try to fight off the zombie invasion and in the mean time, a lot of deaths and bullets fly. Hell Yeah!

Villain:

Planet Terror went for the easy slam dunk when it came to the film's villain...zombies. I'm cool with that any day of the week. Zombies rock!

Cast:
Planet Terror featured a big cast...just see the credits list above. Rose looks smokin’ hot. Check her hotness out your self (pictured left). She turns out into a bad ass mother fucker at the end. Michael Biehn plays the local sheriff of the city. I’ve always been a huge fan of him since Aliens. The rest of the cast does a good job, unlike Deathproof.

SFX/Gore:

There was a lot of deaths in Planet Terror. Of course I expected that from a zombie flick. I lost count of deaths in the flick, but honestly I wasn't keeping track of them either.

Planet Terror did feature a lot of gore...as in too much over the top gore. Zombie flicks tend to do this as they dwell on the zombies eating and tearing away at human flesh.

There were good special effects, and explosions for the style and look of the film. Rodriguez brought out the full arsonal when it came to killing zombies. The coolest SFX was Rose's machine gun leg.

TNA:
6 Hot Chicks, 1 sex act (interrupted), 1 set of boobies (in the beginning of the film), there were 2 sets in the Machette trailer at the beginning of the film. Oh yeah, a set of hot looking twins (pictured right).Me likey. Considering it was a zombie flick, they went out of their way to satisfy the viewers. Only if we could get a good set of boobies, not just a flash by, this film would really, really kick some butt.

T.Gun's Take:

Planet Terror was a pretty good zombie flick. I thought it held true to 70’s style of the grindhouse drive inn movies. I also thought it had a kick ass musical score.

One of the things I hated the most about this movie was the interrupted, “lost scene” during the sex scene between Rose & Freddy. It took some balls to stay with, but I didn’t like it. I loved Rose on the stripper pole and her peg-leg gun. Throw in a set of hot twins and flesh eating zombies and we’re havin’ fun.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on April 6, 2007 along with Deathproof and made $25 million at the Box Office ($19.6 opening weekend)
-Original name was Project Terror
-Film's fisrt 30 pages of the script was actually written in 1998



And the second movie...

Deathproof

Cast/Notable Credits:
Quentin Tarantino (Director): If you don't know any of his movies, then you're an idiot

Kurt Russell (Stuntman Mike): Same thing here

Rosario Dawson (Abernathy): Clerks 2 (2005), Men in Black 2 (2002), Sin City (2003), Alexander (2004), Rent (2005)

Vanessa Ferlito (Arlene): Spiderman 2 (2004), Man of the House (2005)

Rose McGowan (Pam):

Jordan Ladd (Shanna): Cabin Fever (2002), Club Dread (2004), Hostel 2 (2007)

Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Lee): Final Destination 3 (2006), Black Christmas (2006), Ring 2 (2005), Sky High (2005)

Deathproof is the second half of the Grindhouse double feature which is directed by Quentin Tariatino. Q.'s contribution to the Grindhouse 70's feel is a movie about a stuntman (Stuntman Mike) which hunts down unsuspecting women to kill them. Stuntman Mike has rebuilt and fortified his stunt car into a death machine on wheels.

Stuntman Mike took the A-Team 101 course and turned his car into a pretty bad *ss "deathproof" car. The driver side of the car has all the safety precautions for wrecks, and the rest of the car...well not so much protected from crashes.

Stuntman Mike lures females into taking rides or lifts and then crashes the car on purpose to kill them. Or he just simply goes into a head on collision course with another car, banking on his reinforced modifications to keep him alive. Odds are definitely on his side.

Villain:

Okay, I was first diggin’ Kurt Russell’s character, Stuntman Mike. At least for the first half of the film. He was creepy with a sick sense of humor. He drove a bad-ass car and looked mean. Then...WHAT HAPPENED?

He totally disappeared after the first act. Fifteen minutes from the end, it’s like the director said, “Oh yeah, we have a kick ass villain. Let’s put him back in the movie and then make him a whiney bitch.” When he did come back in he started off cool, but became a puss running for his life by the end. BOO! Q wasted that character!

Cast:

Only three real hot chicks, the rest were borderline crack whore looking.I'm sorry Jordan Ladd, but her look just didn't do it. Not to mention annoying as hell when they gossiped. Rosiaro Dawson and Vanessa Ferlito had the only real performances.

SFX/Gore:

Six deaths, and a cool car chase sequence. Where the rest of the film sucked, this part was good.

TNA:

There were about five hot chicks in this film. Looking back at it, and knowing the directors of the movie, I got to ask…”Why aren’t there any boobies?” Come on! It’s a horror movie. I give props to the cheerleader outfit and the lap dance scene, but come on'…we need boobies. Look at the hotness below.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Jordan Ladd

Rosario Dawson

T.Gun's Take:

Movie pace = suck! Forty seven minutes in and still no deaths. Plus it was painful to watch. So they finally kill some people and now we enter the second half of the film. Another forty plus minutes and still nothing! Somewhere in there was crappy dialog and annoying chicks yapping their flaps. I wasn’t a big fan of the music either. And for Christ sake, pick a style. I know it started with a seventies feel to it and that’s cool and all, but what’s with the 5 minutes of black and white and then into a modern day production style? Most of the movie was painful to begin with, and now they add that on top of it.

I might have graded this movie a little hard. But it was also pretty hard to watch. I thought it had a great idea, and story premise. Unfortunately, I thought both were wasted. Someday I'll get back to it and re-evaluate it. I try not to grade off the first watching, this might have been one of those that suffered because of it.



I did like the car sequence at the end with the lesbian on the hood trying to stay on. One of the funnier moments was toward the end with the gun shooting. Lap dance chick(Vanessa Ferlito pictured left) was also in Man of the House with Monica Keena (Freddy Vs. Jason) pictured right. Any way to put up another picture of her. Bonus: Bookie watched it. I feel his pain in this one!

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on April 6, 2007 as a Grindhouse double feature with Planet Terror and made $25 million at the Box Office ($19.6 million opening weekend)
-Stuntman Mike has two "deathproof" cars, 70' Chevy Nova and 69' Dodge Charger

Review #17: Bug (2006)

Cast/Notable Credits:
William Friedkin (Director): Exorcist (1973)

Ashley Judd (Agnes): Twisted (2004), High Crimes (2002), Kiss the Girls (1997), Double Jeopardy (1999), Eye of the Beholder (1999)

Michael Shannon (Peter): Let's Go To Prison (2006), Bad Boys 2 (2003), Kangaroo Jack (2003), 8 Mile (2002)

Harry Connick Jr. (Jerry): Hope Floats (1998), Will & Grace T.V. series

Lynn Collins (R.C.): 50 First Dates (2004), 13 Going On 30 (2004)

Trailer:


Plot:
Bug is a f*ck*n’ weird a** movie. It deals with a man convincing a woman with paranoia, craziness, and conspiracies about the world and government. And it's works!

The “bug” is something the government implanted into him which conveniently got activated after sex with Ashley Judd. Amazing what sex will do to a man. Now that they did the hibbie-di jibbie-di, he has now become the drone (to what...I have no idea) and Ashley holds the "queen bug" inside her.

Quick recap: Stranger hooks up with Ashley Judd. They have sex. After sex, he has some "drone in him" and she carries the "queen bug" and everyone is out to get them. Still have no idea what the f*ck the movie is about…neither do I.

Villain:

Can I have a film with no villain and still grade for one? Yeah, I guess. The transient man who falls in love with Ashley Judd is probably the closest thing to a villain the film can produce. After all he is responsible for the only three deaths in the film. I kind of graded this based on the imaginary, psychotic ramblings that he insinuated in the film.

Cast:

Bug featured a limited cast, but it presented two hot chicks (Ashley Judd being one of them). Harry Connick Jr. plays a small part in the film as an abusive ex-husband. All the characters had good performances in the film crazy or not.

SFX/Gore:

There were only three deaths in the film, and not a whole lot of special effects. But to be fair, Bug is more of a psychological thriller, and I was surprised to see that many people go by the wayside.

TNA:

God Bless Ashley and her little Judd’s.(Pictured below..just Ashley...well you can see where the Judds reside) Also God bless her willingness to show them multiple times. We didn’t get full frontal, but a lot of glimpses of one little Judd or the other Judd and some close-ups of them. Who cares if they may or may not be from a stunt double!

T.Gun's Take:

Okay, Bug si a slow one. The movie pace was very slow and dense. I was drifting to sleep a couple of times. But I stayed with it and Bug has a creative storyline and is a great idea if you can understand what's going on. A lot of the ideas and conspiracies reminded me of work when I work in the “crazy pod”.

I was a little disappointed with Bug because I kept waiting for alien bugs to take over the movie, but that never happened. Who knew a movie named “Bug” could have a second meaning? It was metaphoric or some sh*t like that. It still probably would have been cooler if alien bugs did pop out of their bodies and turn the flick into a pod-people movie. Any way, I gave booby…mean bonus points for Ashley and her little Judd’s.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on May 25, 2007 (Limited) and made $7 million at the Box Office ($4 million opening weekend)
-Jodie Foster was considered for the role of Agnes

Review #16: House of Wax (2005)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Jaume Collet-Serra (Director): Orphan (2009)

Elisha Cuthbert (Carly Jones): Captivity, Girl Next Door (2004), Old School (2003), and 24 T.V.

Chad Michael Murray (Nick Jones): Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill T.V. series

Brian Van Holt (Bo/Vincent): S.W.A.T. (2003) & Black Hawk Down (2001)

Paris Hilton (Paige Edwards): Nine Lives (2002), Nat'l Lampoon's Pledge This! (2006)

Jared Padalecki (Wade): Cry Wolf (2005), Friday the 13th, Supernatural T.V. series

Jon Abrahams (Dalton): Scary Movie (2000)

Robert Ri'chard (Blake): Coach Carter (2005)

Trailer:


This movie is a remake of the 1953 Vincent Price movie. Elisha Cuthbert and her “twin” brother, Justin Timberlake...just kidding, the actor is actually Chad M. Murray... takes a trip out of town to a college football road game along with their friends (Wade, Dalton, Blake and of course the slutty Paris...I mean Paige).

While driving through the parts of Louisiana, there is a big accident on road…♫ I want to Rock your Body ♫…and they decide to take a detour on one of the Louisiana backwoods roads to save time. They spend the night in the woods, and encounter a late night local who just watches them from his distant truck and then leaves after they throw a rock at it busting the headlight. The next morning, they mysteriously have car problems with one of the cars and can't leave.

Carly (Cuthbert) and her boyfriend Wade (Jared Padalecki) decide to hike into a neighboring town for car parts but they encounter a local who gives them a lift there instead. They arrive into the town to find most of it is deserted, and the only activity going on is at the church. They visit the town's wax museum when they see a mysterious man in the window. Inside the museum they find no one.

They leave the museum and accidentally barge into the church during a funeral procession. Embarrassed and ashamed, the quickly back out. One of the towns members, Bo comes out and confronts them. Bo owns the local gas station and invites them back to his house so he can get the needed part for the car. They agree and follow Bo to his house up the hill.

Once at Bo's house, Wade goes inside with him to retrieve the part, but never comes back. Carly soon discovers shortly after Wade has been gone, that the truck she's sitting in has a broken headlight. She decides to flee the scene and Bo chases her around the small town. Carly is eventually captured by Bo.

In the mean time, her brother Justin...I mean Nick... has grown inpatient with the two's long absence. He takes Dalton and the only car working to go into town looking for them. Upon arrival in the town, Dalton and Justin...mean Nick...split up looking for them. Dalton stumbles upon the wax museum and Justin...ah f*ck it...finds the gas station where Carly is being held captive by Bo.

Justin saves Carly and they look for Dalton and Wade around town. They also seek help from the local town folk, but the only thing is…the town is deserted…as in everyone is a wax figure set up in random places to appear as if the town is occupied.

While Justin and Carly search for Dalton and Wade, Blake and Paige are gettin' it on at the camp. But they're not alone, another mysterious dark figure has decided to hunt them down...and does. It appears that two brothers are the masterminds behind the whole town and killing spree. Their parents had been famous wax sculptors back in the day, and one of the brothers has taken up the hobby of turning people into wax figures for the museum.

Chaos ensues as Justin and Carly attempt to escape the town. Unfortunately their friends don't have better luck as they fall victims to the wax makers. Oh no! By the way, have I mentioned that the glamorous, slutty, platinum blonde haired, bulimic Paris Hilton... ♫ Senorita ♫...demonstrates her academy award winning acting abilities in this one. Just kidding. She doesn't display anything. But she is in it.

Villain:

The villains featured conjoined twins separated in childhood. One of them, who is the expert "wax maker" has a deformity on his face that he fixes with melted wax. He's the dumb one. The other guy is a normal looking dude, but demented.

Cast:

Elisha Cuthbert starred in this one along with Justin Timberlake…or the guy that looks like him...who is supposed to be her “twin”. Like I mention before his name is actually Chad Michael Murray, but for all intense purposes let’s call him Justin. I'll let you be the judge! Check out the photos below: Which one is Justin Timberlake? (hint: one on the right...oops..left...or is it right?).


Also starring in the flick are Jared Padalecki, Jon Abrahams and Robert Ri'chard. They round up the cast of inter-changeable characters that die. On a side note, Padalecki is going to star in the Friday the 13th remake in 2009. Oh, did I mention Paris Hilton was in it?

SFX/Gore:

There were six deaths in House of Wax. For me, that was kind of disappointing, but on the otherhand, a small cast was the cause. I'm sure they could have used a little bit more "cannon fodder".

There were good special effects used in the wax museum and end meltdown scene. The best thing about was the killer wax human making machine stored down in the basement. It kind of reminded me of one of those Jigsaw contraptions from the Saw movies. The deaths were nice and brutal. The first one to die was molded into a wax figurine by the killer wax machine.

Later on in the film when someone discovers him, the accidentally peel chunks of wax and skin off his face at the dinner table he was set up at. Now that was awesome!

And Paris Hilton DIES! *** Spoiler *** …oops...too late. Oh come on’ you didn’t see that one coming? Cry me a River. They even sold promotional T-Shirts that read, "On May 6, Watch Paris Die".

TNA:

Between Elisha Cuthbert…♫ I’m Bringing Sexyback ♫ …and Paris Hilton…the only set of tits we get in the film are waxed. Bummer! Paris does a cheap slutty take-off-my-clothes-to-the-underwear scene and then denies her boyfriend of sex. Bitch. ♫ What goes around comes around ♫

Elisha wears a nice tank top for the majority of the film…oh…and she does get tied down to a chair with duck tape and crazy glue…if you’re into that. It worked for me. The ultimate question is...which one is the hotter chic? My bets are on the one not wrapped up. ♫ This I promise you. ♫

While we have a break in the action, let's sing along with Justin now....

♫ You could be my baby ♫
♫ When I look at my lady ♫
♫ Girl, you amaze me ♫
♫ Ain’t gotta do nothin’ crazy ♫
♫ See all I want you to do is be ♫
♫ My love. So don’t give away ♫
♫ My love. So don’t give away ♫
♫ My love. So don’t give away ♫

T.Gun's Take:

House of Wax is a loose remake of classic film. They've thrown a whole demented little kid(s) in the woods factor and brought in a cast of eye candy...and whoola! We get a new hip remake.

The wax figures and museum are pretty cool looking and let's give the film credit...a wax museum is a fun idea for a horror movie. Period. House of Wax even had an unique twist ending to open up another sequel. Where is it!? They need to make more wax museum movies! Let's see we have the original, this one, Waxwork 1 and Waxwork 2...maybe I'll shut up now.

I like the wax concept surrounding the movie. The producers could of...should of...casted more cheap hot women to take off their clothes and die horribly. But Noooo...they didn't, but can’t really change that now. The best part of the museum was the wax dog trick. That was cool and clever.

Despite all the slamming I’ve given the film, I actually enjoyed watching it. I don’t know why, but I like the film. Not because of Paris or Justin. It’s because I love Elisha Cuthbert…♫ God must have spent I little more time on you ♫. She's smokin' hot! She also plays a great damsel in distress.

House of Wax was Jaume Collet-Serra’s directorial debut. The film was originally casted around Paris with everyone else filling up the holes. Thank god for Elisha… ♫ Lovestoned ♫. Well, I’ve tried to reference as many Justin Timberlake songs as I could so now I must leave. ♫ Bye Bye Bye ♫.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened May 6, 2005 and made $32 million dollars at the Box Office ($12 million opening weekend)
-Justin Timberlake has won 6 Grammy's and an Emmy
-Both Justin and Chad were born in 1981...hmm...coinsedence?

Review #15: Wrong Turn (2003)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Rob Schmidt (Director): Crime & Punishment in Suburbia (2000), Master’s of Horror: Right to Die (2007)

Eliza Dushku (Jesse): Buffy & Angel & Tru Calling T.V. series, Bring it on (2000), The New Guy (2002), True Lies(1994)

Emmanuelle Chriqui (Carly): The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005), Detroit Rock City (1999)

Jeremy Sisto (Scott): Clueless (1995), Dead & Breakfast (2004), 6 Ft Under T.V. series, Population 436 (2006)

Lindy Booth (Francine): The Skulls 2 (2002), American Psycho 2 (2002), Dawn of the Dead, Cry Wolf (2005)

Desmond Harrington (Chris): Ghost Ship (2002), Love Object (2003)

Kevin Zegers (Evan): Dawn of the Dead

Trailer:


♫ Country roads, take me home ♫
♫ To the place I belong ♫
♫ West Virginia, mountain momma ♫
♫ Take me home, country roads ♫

Yep. In the mountains of West Virginia, we have killer inbred hill-billies or K.M.N.H.B.’s (KILLER MUTANT NINJA HILL BILLIES) Okay they're maybe not ninja, but everything else fits. Anyway, the K.M.N.H.B.’s sabotage vehicles that come through their parts of the woods leaving unsuspecting parties helpless. The K.M.N.H.B.’s hunt their prey down for food and breeding purposes.

In this story, young adults led by Eliza Dushku, have their “wheels” blown out on their cars leaving them stranded alone in the woods. But are they REALLY alone? Perhaps not. I think we know the answer to that question. Violence and blood follows courtesy of the K.M.N.H.B.’s.

Villain:

Villain...we don't need no stinkin' villain. We have villains. Yep, a family of three inbred mutant hill billies or K.M.N.H.B.’s. Sweet. They look pretty scary. But I guess all weird inbreeding deformities look cool. Also they are well-trained hunters as they master their skills hunting down helpless victims.

Cast:

I love the cast of the movie, mainly because there are hot chicks involved. Eliza has been in my heart ever since her “Buffy” days, and Emmanuelle looks smokin’ hot running around in that skimpy outfit. I swear you could see her nipples at times! She's sexy. The third lady, Lindy is hot in her dirty little innocent girl way.

Jeremy Sisto is an awesome actor that stars in many cult horror movies. I like him in general. I would have preferred him as the male lead role instead of the other guy, Desmond. Desomond comes off as some type of stuck up douche bag.

SFX/Gore:

There were ten deaths total in the film. It didn't seem like that many, but there were. Two of the deaths were completely bad ass. Those would be the barbed wire jaw death and the axe in the jaw death.

The axe death was my favorite because of the camera work. You could see the eyes go blank as the camera pans out…and then you see the axe buried into the tree at the jaw…and three seconds later, the rest of the body falls leaving the upper half of the face resting on the axe that was driven into the tree. The special effects on the film were good. The deaths were realistic, and the film didn't compensate for bad deaths with over gore.

TNA:

Come on’! There should have been more! We have four hot chicks on the screen and none of them volunteered to go the extra mile. One dude gets a hummer from one of our lovely ladies. That was the time to extend the scene a little bit more. Extend...huh...huh.

We also get the “Damsel in distress” scene were she is tied to the bed and needs saving. But no boobies. That’s right, no boobies ... BOO!…although you can see Emmanuelle’s nipples pokin’ through her shirt at times. Eliza and Emmanuelle walk around in skimpy little man-friendly tops. And one of them shows off their nice stomach and belly button. I love that out fit. And if you’ve notice a pattern of me always posting pictures of blonde chicks…well look around…we have a couple brunettes and a red. Yeah! I'm a equal opportunist.

T.Gun's Take:

K.M.N.H.B.! Go hill billies go! What more can we ask for? It's a simple successful formula:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
+
Inbred Hill Billies
=
Future of Horror Movies

I personally like this movie. Not like...LOVE. I originally saw it in the movie theater shortly after it came out and it was a surprise hit! I fell in love right then and there. Bookie hated this movie with a passion and still does. I don't know what his problem is. What would you expect from a K.M.N.H.B. movie?

The axe-tree death is still rad! Rad...but you haven’t heard that term for a while. Did you know they made a movie called Rad? It was about a kid competing in a BMX bike competition. It starred Talia Shire. Who? You know…I’ll give you a hint. “Yo, Adrian." Yep. Adrian from the Rocky movies. It also starred Lori Loughlin (Full House) and Marta Kober (Sandra in Friday the 13^th Part 2), Kober was the sister of Rob in Part 4, who was hunting down Jason.

Just remember those famous lyrics from John Denver as you watch this movie:

♫ Country roads, take me home ♫
♫ To the place I belong ♫
♫ West Virginia, mountain momma ♫
♫ Take me home, country roads ♫

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on May 30, 2003 and made $15.4 million at the Box Office ($5.1 million opening weekend)
-Numerous cast injuries on the film including Desmond (broke right ankle) and Emmanuelle (dislocated shoulder)

Review #14: Black Sheep (2006)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Jonathan King (Director)

Matthew Chamberlain (Oliver)

Oliver Driver (Grant)

Danielle Mason (Experience)

Peter Feeney (Angus Oldfield)

Trailer:

Plot:

Well…I’ve seen Jason in space hell I’ve even seen Leprechaun in space. I’ve also seen killer condoms, killer shrews, and killer dolls. I thought it couldn’t get any crazier than that, until now. Killer sheep. Yep. Killer Sheep.

Black Sheep is an independent film from New Zealand about...killer sheep. This is a fair warning, Black Sheep is a serious film that does not take itself seriously. Huh? It's a goofy dark comedy. Basically this is what the movie reminds me of:

28 Days Later (not 28 Days) + any werewolf tale + sheep = Black Sheep

The low down of this movie goes a little something like this...sheep herders experiment with human sperm and sheep to create the “ultimate sheep”. Somehow the toxic-waste-dead-sheep-carcasses left over from the experiments creates the “rage virus”.

When a liberal hippy environmentalist come across these leathal sheep, one of them steals a canister of bio waste and gets bitten by a mutant fetal sheep carcass, he becomes SHEEP BEAST.

Then an innocent sheep gets bitten by that same mutant fetal sheep carcass it becomes infected with the “rage virus” and spreads it along to other sheep turning them into zombie sheep. Zombie sheep bites human and human turns into SHEEP BEAST. Pretty fucked up, huh?

Villain:

Killer Sheep! What else do I need to say? Also killer werewolf-man Sheep Beast. Not really intimidating, but creative.

Cast:

Unknown cast signed on for this one. Only one hot chick…a spiritual hippy environmentalist named “Experience”. I would like to “experience” her. But as I think about it, she probably doesn’t shave being a hippy. So underneath all the clothes might be a bulimic yeddy. Spoiled that thought now... didn't I?

SFX/Gore:

There were a bunch of deaths, and mutations in the film. I lost track during the ceremony, and during the switching back and forth from human to sheep to human phases.

TNA:

Like a said one hot chick. Not much on the TNA front. It probably didn’t feel right in this movie the way it was written. I would like to mention that I watched this on the day of the CSU-Wyoming football game, so sheep jokes were just running through my mind. There’s a saying at my Ala mater:

“Wyoming: where the men are men, and the sheep are afraid!”



I bet this one's afraid. ================================>

On that note, there were two acts of sheep-man sex. Initiated on both sides. That’s just wrong to put in this category, but it was in the film.

T.Gun's Take:

Killer sheep…enough said. Well not exactly. I had high hopes for an over-the-top comedy, but was a little disappointed in the end result. The director seemed to stay with in the reality of things. He could have ventured down another off the wall path, but stayed true to reality to what he was making. At least the best reality could be portrayed in a zombie-killer-sheep movie.

I give the film huge props for being a low budget independent flick. Black Sheep is intended to be a funny dark humor horror film, and for the most part is that. Don't expect anything more or less. On a side note, Black Sheep was director Jonathan King’s first film.

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on June 24, 2007 and made $83K at the Box Office in limited release
-SFX were done by Weta Workshops, the same company who did LOTR Trilogy

Review #13: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Cast/Notable Credits:
Alexandre Aja (Director): High Tension (2003)

Aaron Stanford (Doug): X-men 2 & 3, 25th Hour (2002)

Kathleen Quinlan (Ethel): Event Horizon (1997), Breakdown (1997), Apollo 13 (1995), The Doors (1991), Airport 77' (1977)

Vinessa Shaw (Lynn): 40 Days & 40 Nights (2002), Corky Romano (2001), Eyes wide Shut (1999)

Emilie de Ravin (Brenda): Lost T.V. series, Santa's Slay (2005)

Ted Levine (Bob): Monk T.V. series, Joyride, Manchurian Canidate (2004), The Fast & Furious (2001), Evolution (2001), Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Robert Joy (Lizard): Fallen (1998), Land of the Dead, AVP 2

Dan Byrd (Bobby): Firestarter 2 (2002)

Trailer:



Plot:

The Hills Have Eyes (H.H.E.) is a remake of the Wes Craven's original made back in 1977. The story goes along the lines like this, the Carter family takes a road trip and travels cross country from Ohio to California. They travel through the the desert of New Mexico where the government tested nuclear bombs during the 1940’s & 50’s.

The family pulls off at a gas station on the highway to fill up. The father, Big Bob, asks the attendant for directions and gets directions of a "shortcut" in return. Meanwhile in the background scenery, strange beings spy on the gas station and the Carter family. Other Carter family members include: Ethel, Brenda, Bobby, Lynne and her husband, Doug and baby Catherine. And we can't forget the family German Sheppards, Beauty and Beast.

Big Bob gets back in the SUV pulling the camper and heads off on the short cut route. Miles down the road, their car is ambushed with a hidden spike trap that punctures the tires causing the vehicle to crash in an isolated part of the desert hills.

Stranded with no where to go and help no where in sight, Big Bob ventures back to the gas station on his own while the family makes camp and his son in law Doug, walks off the other direction to find help. But little do they know, they are being watched by others.

Hiding in the hills watching them are a pack of mutants. The mutants are survivors after years of nuclear testing in the area. They are local miners who refused to leave the area after the testing began. The radiation over the years has caused deformities in the family of mutants. And inbreeding doesn't hurt the cause either.

Big Bob has finally made it back to the gas station and witnesses the crazy attendant commit suicide before he is captured by a member of the mutant clan. Meanwhile, back at the family camp, Doug has returned and they have a little family meeting, talking about the possibility of people hiding in the hills.

An explosion happens in the distance and a few of them run to check it out. While the majority of the family is out investigating the explosion, a couple of the mutants slip into the camper. One of them rapes Brenda and the other one takes interest in the baby.

They discover that the source of the explosion is actually dad tied to a burning tree. Doug and Bobby attempt to free him and put out the fire. Lynn and Ethel return to the camper to find the mutants inside who take them hostage. While one of the mutants is fondling Lynn, Ethel attacks him in rage. The sequence ends up in the deaths of Lynn, and Ethel as the mutants take the baby with them into the hills.

Doug and Bobby are unsuccessful at saving Big Bob and then return to the camper only to find the carnage the mutants left behind. The shaken Brenda tells them that they took the baby with them. Doug sets off into the hills to find his baby daughter from the mutants as Bobby and Brenda take refuge in the camper repelling off mutant attacks.

Villain:

Multiple nuclear-fall-out miner mutants terrorizing a family on vacation in the New Mexico desert. Hell yeah! The mutants looked pretty good visually. They were disgusting looking enough to pass as bad ass. Some of them may have looked too over the top in their looks, but the majority of them looked dead on. They used multiple weapons of death to get the job done, including a big miner axe.

Cast:

Ted Levine (Monk & Joy Ride) played the lovable father of the family. He was a retired cop and was the strong personality of the family. He was by far, my favorite character. Doug was played by Aaron Stanford, Pyro from the X-men series, I didn't like his character too much. I guess that I just could feel for him or relate. I loved that he finally said, "F*ck it!" and went out and became vengeful on the mutant's ass. His character I thought sucked for 75% of the film, and then just went off. Bravo!

I liked Bobby, the little brother, who was played by Dan Byrd. He brought something to his role. Vinessa Shaw, and Emile de Ravin (pictured right) did what they were supposed to do on camera, look good. And they did that pretty well.

I'm sorry, but I don't have too much expectations when it comes to Emilie's acting abilities. I've watched Lost now for...what is it?...four years, and I haven't been impressed so far. The coolest characters outside of Big Bob happened to be the family's twin German Sheppard dogs.

SFX/Gore:

Seventeen deaths in the film. Not bad. About half and half (9 mutant vs. 8 people) when it came to species in the film. There was a bit of unnecessary and over usage of blood in the film, especially in the mutant town scenes.

They might have gone a little over board in that story board. There was some good brutal deaths in the film including my favorite which happened in the opening sequence. The special effects in the film were good, especially on the camper accident and explosion.

TNA:

Lacking. This category didn't really exist. There were no twins in the film. No boobies! None, zilch, zip, nil. What the hell? As I mentioned above, we get two hot chicks to look at, and one sex act or an inferred rape mutant scene...and did I mention...NO BOOBIES!? The closest thing for a guy getting a woody is Emile de Ravin wearing a nice short blue bathing suit. And come to think about it, the other hot chick, Vinessa Shaw (pictured right) looks a lot...man-ish... like Hillary Swank.

Story:

This was a remake off an original idea, but it was a good remake. The movie pace was fine and film/sound quality was top notch. There were a couple of jump factors in the film and they made a moral statement with an underlining tone. We hate government. Don’t set off nukes. They have repercussions, like killer mutant families. We don't need an alien from space named Klaatu with a big killer robot named Gort to bring us to peace and stop nuclear testing and experimenting.

T.Gun Factor:

A pretty good remake. I wasn't a huge fan of the original so I have no personal feelings for this film being remade. In fact, I thought the original sucked. It was too boring and unwatchable in my opinion. This film did well enough to merit a sequel at least. And let's not mention its sequel for a while longer. It wasn't as good. It sucked.

The special effects were good and deaths were brutal. Two key elements to make me happy. I really liked the camper crash and it's subsequent explosion. Visually it looked good on film. Another plus was that the film featured some killer German Sheppard dogs. Killer Dogs!!! How could they go wrong?

Director Alexandre Aja also directed the French film Haute Tension (High Tension – USA title) back in 2003. The film was shot in Morocco, because the 1977’s film location was...is... currently occupied by condominiums. That would be pretty cool to live in a location of an iconic film. Even if the original sucked, it still would be cool.

Bookie actually seen the movie and kind of liked it. Surprisingly something we both agree on. So if we agree on it, then it must be a good flick! And by the way...Killer Dogs Rule!!!

Misc. Movie Trivia:
-Film opened on March 10, 2006 and made $41.7 million at the Box Office ($15.7 million opening weekend)
-The gas station in the film was built from scratch, and looked so real, that people were stopping by for gas.
-Temperatures on set during filming reached around 120 degrees